Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

I have a great relationship with my daughter but on her FB she has more pictures of her mil than me her mil a nice woman enjoys drinking and partying therefore is always sharing photos of herself it doesn't bother me in the slightest

I don't like having my photo taken, so I can't complain if I'm not there up with my DILs FC posts. It's unfortunate but it doesn't matter how well we get on with our children's partners we're only ever there by necessity and not choice, especially so if it's your sons partner. Tag her into a pic of yourself then you will be there.

It's like there are two separate lives - one is real life, the other is Facebook life.

Stick to real life.

I'm very particular about my photos - my dil, and all nearest and dearest know better than to publish without prior vetting! ? Seriously, don't sweat the small stuff!

Facebook is not real. I'm not on it, neither are 80% of my friends and family. Maybe a laugh for kids but dross to me. To attach any kind of significance to Facebook is asking for trouble.
If I had an account I would never post photos of myself and would be appalled if any family member did.
Real world relationships are what matter, Facebook is a toy.

Why any one uses sites like facebook to publicise their lives in this way by uploading photos and telling the whole world about mundane things I have no idea. If you have genuine friends who are interested enough to want to know about your life then phone them, send them a private email or a letter or, better still, go and see them in person. If people do decide to advertise themselves on the internet in this way then it is up to them what they decide to say and show.

As others have said, just live in the 'here and now' and dont worry about something so minor. There are more important things in life! I actually don't like it when a photo if me appears on FB and only look at the site when really bored!

I think it does indicate a difference in the way a DiL regards the mother of her husband, regarding who is/not in the family "circle"
I think being a MiL is different to expectation - and for me, what appeared to be a lovely relationship, changed once a grandchild was born. DiL's parents were obviously regarded as family, encouraged to visit and stay, plans made, I later found out, months ahead. My involvement, although I live nearer, just somehow involved occasional fitted in visits after all other arrangements were made - I felt just like a health visitor/social worker in my contact. I had to ask if it was possible for me to see more, but my trust in DiL has gone and I am wary. She may just be thoughtless, but I feel I am not regarded as family in her book and I now feel there is a glass wall between us. My only child, DS goes along with it all and I do not rock the boat as he has his life to live and now it is with her. I am just hurt and am quite sad when I read how other MiL's have a lovely relationship - I thought I had one once.

Facebook......???? It has a lot to answer for as far as I'm concerned. As others have said - it's not 'real life'. I'm not on it - I'd much rather communicate with people by speaking to them!

Hi Cloeps

Just checked my Facebook album. I do not have a single photo of my mother in law either.

Please be assured that I do not mean her any ill will.

If you feel so bad why don't you find a photo of you and your daughter in law together and post it directly on your daughter in laws page. Write a nice message on it like how much you enjoyed the day or how much you love the photo etc. If she deletes it you will know that you have a problem.

lilihu, you seem awfully sure of what Facebook is and isn't for someone who doesn't use it!

I and my daughters are on it and - guess what? - we also talk on the phone and by Skype and even - shock, horror! - meet in real life.

As someone who hates photos of herself and tolerates about one in a hundred, I'm not likely ever to want to see pictures of me on FB.

But we need to address the OP's concern, which is that she somehow is unsure of her DiL's love and sees an exclusion manifested in this lack of photos. Having had three daughters, I have never had to face the DiLemma. I get on well with my SiLs and one outlaw.

They hardly use FAcebook and I'd be surprised if they put up ANY photos, even of their partners and children. We use 23 Snaps instead, which is limited to family members. I would never put up pictures of any of the grandkids without checking with their parents.

I love FB I ve started a couple of groups that have really taken off and I ve reached people I would never have reached in my 'real' life I have found school friends and other friends and I keep up with my overseas children and grandchildren I get to see far more photos than would ever be printed and sent to me Missing people, pets and items have been found through FB Items are sold or given away for free on local eBay type groups without fees I use the messaging service to talk on the phone or video with no extra charge Peole have been caught abusing children pets burglaries by a photo on FB I can keep up with local, national and international happenings .....it is so much bigger tool than just looking at what people had for dinner
If your post is genuine and you're really worried about your daughter in laws lack of photos of you I d say get a life but I still think this could well be one of these wind up threads to get us all going again

I only use Facebook to stalk nieces and nephews . they are the children of my late brother and if they are partying away on Facebook I know they are alive and well.( I feel slightly responsible as I'm the only sensible one on that side of the family)

I think you should just be grateful that you have a relationship with your DiL, judging by a lot of posts on here that often isn't the case. If your DiL having your photo on facebook is all you have to worry about, you are very lucky.

chloeps - If I were in your position I would be highly delighted.

Almost everyone I know who was on Facebook has shut down their account or made it private. It seems to bring out the worst in many people. I don't want to have my whereabouts broadcast when having dinner with friends and we have one friend who can't go anywhere without posting. He is on a warning.
There seem to be so many petty arguments about "friends", photos etc. Reads like pathetic playground antics.
Do you have pics of your Dil displayed? Does your son have pics of his Mil? Does any of this matter?

I've just trawled through my DiL's very extensive album, fearing that a terrible picture of me at my fattest on holiday five years ago would be there and I'm very pleased to say that it isn't. There were so many lovely pictures of my GC that it was a pleasure looking at them and remembering the good times we have had together and looking forward to more of them.

I don't see any need for Facebook in my life. When I was working it caused no end of problems in my work, with some staff not realising that there was a confidentiality issue involved, either by discussing school matters on it or being friends with parents. It caused no end of grief, because they weren't savvy enough to make their settings private. Why do people feed the need to plaster details of their life all over the internet? Once it's up there, it's very difficult to remove. I appreciate that there are advantages in allowing families who do not live close to each other to keep in contact, but apart from that I can't see anything positive about it.

I don't think you're being childish. It's hurtful to see that. I'm sure if my DIL could, she'd have photos of her mother all over it (she wouldn't put any of me on there). I get on very well with her and am really fond of her but I think you draw the short straw a bit when you have a son. There is no answer. You just have to feel the pain and move on, in the grand plan of things, I guess it's not so important and we have to find other good things to focus on.?

You are posting on an Internet forum about your relationship with your daughter in law.

It's clearly not a great relationship, so I don't think you should be surprised if you're not so close that she's posting photos of you on Facebook (not that that is the benchmark of a good relationship!)

I didn't even realise this was something I should could worry about until I saw your post. I think I get on really well with my SIL and DIL, mainly, I believe, because I refuse to get dragged into the petty stuff or take sides. I tend to think "I doubt they got up this morning thinking I'll upset the mil today" and if they did then there are more things in life to worry about. Go with the flow and, in the words of an irritating song, Let it go!

I agree with others - it's trivial and nothing to worry about! Ive never thought to check , but have just looked at me DiLs fb page and sure enoug the only pics of me are one or two whole family Groups. There are lots of lovely photos of GC though whio are far more photogenic!

Facebook is a load of s---e in my humble opinion. I think it's wrong to post photos of small children unless there are security restrictions on outsiders looking in. Though to be honest I would abolish Face Book altogether.

There are no pictures of me on my daughter in law's page either, nor on my son's and very few on my daughter's. I don't find that odd. I think I prefer it that way.

Don't do Facebook for this very reason, all I ever hear of is the problems it brings up.