Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

I am a Facebook fan. I use it to communicate messages about WI meetings and events, asking for volunteers, keeping members up to date with plans etc., Often people will make a comment on there but they would not say it in a meeting.
I also enjoy hearing about and communicating with friends past and present. This year, I made contact with an Aunty I hadn't seen for over 40 yrs and this led to contact with relatives I didn't know that I had got.
I do not have my immediate family (sons, dils. grandchildren) on Facebook as I see them regularly and they have the opportunity to tell me what they want me to know about their lives and activities. I would feel that I was being nosey to follow the things they share with friends on Facebook

Why on earth are you bothered about being featured on Facebook surely you have more interesting in your life to be doing.

^ interesting things^ oops.

Not quite the same thing, but my mother never had photos of me (l'm an only child!)on show in her house. Except for my wedding photos, which she refused to take down after we split up. lt got to the point where it upset me so much that l had to say if she didn't take them down, l felt like l couldn't go to the house. Her reason? "They'll leave gaps on the walls." ?
Similarly, my in laws had lots of photos of my brother and sister in law (and even their dogs) on display, but not a single one of my husband. Or me.... (We weren't hideous, honestly)

I do not appear on DD, DS or DIL's FB which is absolutely fine. The thing that annoys me is my sister posting every drink she takes and meal she eats and who she is with, I don't always want the wider world to know where I ate lunch.

My ma-in-law had photos of her 3 children on display - the one of my husband was our wedding photo with me cut off!! It bothered me for a while - now it makes me laugh

Chloeps, well done, I was thinking how she could do that/

We gave DS a framed photo of DH and I at the palace, got an email the next day asking if we had a one of just DH so that they could display instead. We provided the new photo but told him to keep the one of me to put on the mantlepiece as it would keep GC away from the fire

I enjoy being on FB but am very particular about who I am friends with and never, ever post pictures of myself so I am glad that none of the family do. On the other hand my MiL is a real poser and I suspect, if she used FB, would be distraught if she didn't feature in every picture there was. I guess it's all down to personal opinion.

I think there may be an odd one on my DD's FB Albums, hers are mostly DGS & a few of them as a family. Only ones I have in my FB Album are because DD put them there

Can't get hung up about things like this

I have expressly told all of my children and my friends that I do not want my face plastered on Facebook! Not that I am ashamed of it, I am just as ordinary as anyone else, but I did get pestered by a couple of men when I originally joined so I got freaked out with that.

Also I don't think you should tell your dil what she puts on her page as that is up to her. I don't like the way people put children's pictures on there because it is not safe. If not protected with security they can be clipped/snipped/copied and altered by weird people for their own ends.

In any case, for me, Facebook is now a no, no. My son who looks after my computer problems for me had an awful job getting rid of some malwear that had come from Facebook so I am banned from going on there unless I want to lose my very good administrator, which I don't. He is very good, always willing to spend his spare time sorting out our problems, but he cannot keep bailing us out all the time as he things of his own to sort out, so I don't blame him.

I think it is best not to get too worked up about what a DIL does or doesn't do. They are not your flesh and blood, you have inherited them, but importantly they are your sons choice. You just have to do your best to be as pleasant to them as possible and not get too involved, then you can't get hurt.
Once your son has a wife, it is her place to be the most important woman in his life. Her family and friends will also come before any needs you have. Sad really as you love them so much, but that is how it has to be.
My sons love me lots but I have to take my place behind their wives in the attention stakes and I accept the situation. My MIL must have felt the same.
Once you become a MIL it gives you a greater understanding of your own MIL, doesn't it?

Personally I hate having my photo taken so I'm only too pleased to avoid FB exposure! I have just one for my profile which I am happy with....

cloeps - be careful! A friend of mine fell out with her DIL because she told DIL she disapproved of information her DIL posted about her grandchild. The result is that DIL has stopped her seeing her grandchildren ever since.

I also make it a rule not to look at my children's Facebook pages. It seems intrusive somehow, even though I can get access.

Do you think she is being tactful, and not putting your photo on without your permission? My DIL has never put my photo on, and I've always interpreted it that way. Do you have a photo on your FB page? I don't.

My DS unfriended me and dil has such security I may see one or two posts a year. The only photos taken with both of us are the wedding photos. No photos of me and DGC none of him and parents just a posed one in a frame for Christmas. You are all so lucky to have the relationships you do

Rambling why would you feel it intrusive to look on your children's FB they wouldn't include you if they didn't want you to see anything it's very easy to make the settings so you still show up as a 'friend' but don't see their posts People put things on FB because they want you to look at them I d be very disappointed if no one ever looked at my timeline not much point in having an account My kids and a few grandkids are on FB and I love seeing what's going on Two of the older grandkids have their settings so I don't see their latest happenings haha and that's fine they don't need a old gal seeing all their stupidness haha

I find FB very useful for keeping in touch with friends and family, particularly those living abroad, and finding old friends I had lost touch with. I also enjoy seeing photos of their holidays and of my DGS's year in Japan - so much easier than the old days when you were given a big pile of photos to look at, all of which you had to scrutinise and comment on. ? One of my sons and my daughter have put photos of me on there and I sometimes wish they wouldn't as they are not always flattering, but I take it in good part

I have made it clear to my children that I don't want any pictures of me included on their FB pages; perhaps your DiL is actually being respectful of your 'privacy'.

My DIL will not put her toddler daughter on there now or in the future. They share videos directly and with WhatsApp with close family and friends who are not in the UK.

I am very rarely on my DD FB page, it is her, her hubby and kids, then all their parties and activities. Same with my DiL, I am not on hers at all, but I use it as a portal to their world and when I used to ring my DD she would say to look on FB to see what they were doing to save her explaining it all! It was never a family album, really. I use my phone for that and I think the girls do to, but I would not presume to ask to look at their pics on their phones which I look upon the same way as a lady's handbag! I just love them both and am so happy to see all the things they get up to.

One of my DIL's gave gifts to her parents, my step-son's parents and my step-son's step-parents with the exception of me. Furthermore, when the wedding photos were displayed on her wall, it was obvious I wasn't amongst them. My other son noticed and asked why I wasn't up there. My stepson assured me I was on the ones upstairs when he checked that I wasn't on the ones downstairs. I wasn't. He asked his wife why not and she just shrugged her shoulders and said she didn't realise. I'm not entirely sure she didn't know but although I was a little hurt, I made up my mind to shrug it off. After all, I certainly won't endear me to her by making a face and if I keep dwelling on it, it will sour what I think of her.

Bluebelle - I think it's because I'm a worrier so I don't want to see them reporting things I am not happy about.

Examples would be how they hadn't had any sleep for the last 2 nights or had a hangover they couldn't get rid of. They wouldn't normally tell me such things.

I realise this probably sounds feeble and over the top. If they had children and regularly added photos of them, I'm sure I'd look at their photos.

I am glad my DIL hasn't put any of my pictures on FB, if I wanted any on I would put them there myself. I have seen FB pictures used by others as cartoons & various things I would not like to be associated with.

I'm friends with my son on Facebook. He was annoyed about s comment I made in response to something he said. Apparently it was an in joke for his friends, it was not meant for me, that's probably the way she se s it, its for the interest of her friends not her mother in law. At least she doesn't mind you reading it, some people just block their parents.