Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

Hi lots of good info here about why not to use Facebook or how to use it effectively, I came off because I kept feeling a bit precious about what my DIL posted ( we don't get on as well as I had hoped ) and it helped me a lot, what I didn't see I didn't get upset about. BTW there is one tiny pic of me in her home amongst dozens of her mum! I am grateful at least that my tiny one is there!!!

Aren't those photos on there for ever... and actually belong to FB? That is why DIL does not want to put her daughter on there. When she grows up, it might embarrass her if silly-fun photos/videos are on there. I have seen a couple shared on the phone and they are hilarious, but understand that they would be cringe-worthy for her at age 12 or older.

i try not to be in photos that my land up on Facebook

I have a lovely relationship with my MIL, she has tonnes of photos of my DDs around the house, but none of me, I don't think it says anything about our relationship.

I also have no pictures of her on my Facebook. I love her very much, I'm closer to her than to my own mother.

I don't have any pics of my Mum in law on my Facebook either but it doesn't mean I don't love her to bits. Next time u meet how's about a nice selfie of u together and then share on her wall xx

I thought I had a lovely relationship with my Dil, but recently been unfriended from fb.She said she had closed her account, only to reopen it again minus me ! Don't know what to think.

I thought I had a lovely relationship with my Dil, but recently been unfriended from fb.She said she had closed her account, only to reopen it again minus me ! Don't know what to think.

If you want to look on the brighside.. maybe she values your real life relationship too much to risk it by having a facebook relationship with you.

I have family members I care for who for example have very different politics to me, they post about these politics on facebook (not saying you are doing this necessarily, but facebook sometimes highlights people's politics). I sometimes post my own "pet issues" on facebook.. and I dont' want this to affect my relationship with them, So I've never added them on Facebook.

It's a bit like when you love someone and have them round for dinner and enjoy their company but don't bring up the election IYKWIM

Yes maybe she thinks it could cause trouble, although I hardly ever post myself,only commented on her posts occasionally to say how great everyone looked etc.It really is a puzzle.Think I may close my account, it's really not worth the hassle.Better to live in the real world

Nearly60 is may have been due to a "burn" from having a differen relative on Facebook and no be about you specifically

For example: one of DDs preschools had a lot of "in politics" going on with the parents… most of the bunfights peaked on Facebook. I made it my "policy" to not have ANY of the preschool parents on my facebook and contacted them via phone instead so that I got to stay the heck out of all the nonsense - which meant that some who never posted anything contentious on facebook were included in my "ban" of preschool parents on my Facebook.. but it also means that I'm still friendly with them years later because I managed to stay out of the drama IYKWIM

It's unfortunate that British people often seem to think that giving an excuse about something is less hurtful than telling the truth.
I'm guessing this is what has happened, Nearly60, and that there is an explanation that you would understand, if only you knew it.

My Dil is a sweet generous girl and probably didn't want to hurt me, but I would love an explanation to this, otherwise how can we learn and move forward.Thank you for your replies.

Oh good heavens you're worried about her not having photos of you ! When I saw the title of the thread I thought your DIL was being horrible to you. I know someone whose DIL won't even speak to her, for no reason we can think of, when she asked her why she was told it was because my friend is Jewish . The son says he isn't but as the line goes down through the mother he is , he doesn't practice his religion. And you're worried about a photo.

dorsetpennt That is just horrible!! for your friend.

OMG, dorsetpennt, how horrible! Such evil bigotry! Predicting that marriage won't last long!

Nearly60, perhaps it was an oversight? Maybe you could ask dil or ds if there's a problem? Or send her a friend request and see what happens?