Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Sorry; lived

Sorry again; quiet

Bet my typos make you feel better Celebgran

Elengtine quite right Sorry for the loss of your dear parents

When my dear GS was born, estD husband's M&D were jumping around the living room shouting "Oh, our first grandchild, our first grandchild" in front of my GD!! So clearly they saw a distention.

Hope you have a wonderful day Eglantine

That was a lovely reply to cornishsue Yogagirland says all that can be said about this thread; we care for and support one another. It'sthat we need to be on here at all but is definitely a silver lining in our cloud.

Yes, I know we're some distance away Celeb but I'll make it worth your while.

Sorry to jump on this thread but i just wanted to reply to Cornishsue.

My DH had a lovley stepdad, he did the things that any dad would do with his son, he even helped him learn to drive. So when our DD came along he was Grandad, of course! No question about it. He did everything that a Grandad did, had tea parties, played with dolls houses.
DDs Nan didn't. She didn't do anything with her.
When they were due for a visit she would ask if Grandad was coming, when he wasn't (worked long hours) her face would drop.

Biologically they arn't related. But through love he was her Grandad. You don't have to have the same DNA to be family. 'Blood may be thicker than water, but I remember times when water was there and blood wasn't.'

Un/fortunately we don't see them anymore. Ironically, the problem lay with MIL who was biologically Dhs mom and not the 'Step' side of the family, who were absolutely lovely.

Lovely post Red you're right in my C case re: blood-v-step, my C dad left when they were 3,6&9, after the first year only saw them once or twice per year and now once every 5! He does live in Indonesia though, so long way to come for 'tea' On the other hand my C stepdad was stricked, from military background, but said he loved my C more than his own, I did say to him don't say that, but he said it was because he saw mine more than his as we all lived together of course. He would do lots for them, said he would pay to put my Son through Uni, which is an enormous amount of money! He was always very generous with the C, whereas their own dad was mean, didn't even pay child maintenance, their stepdad supported them and his own 4!

Footnote to my last post @ 12.06;
My nasty s.i.l said to me, during his & my D big argument, where this estrangement stems from, he said of his wife, my D, "she should get down on her F**** knees and kiss my F**** feet for taking on L****", so he, like his parents, saw a definite deference in statist.

But as you can see from these last posts, every situation/person/family are deferent!

My DD children don't know my husband is a step anything. My x hardly ever sees the grandkids and lives 15 minutes from our DD.
My DH son has two boys. We don't know the little one but I loved the older one like my own. I fed him, wiped his bottom and played with him every week for over three years. I feel no difference in my love except that he is cut off from my life.

My children were not adopted, both wanted, treated the same. One is caring and treats me well, whilst the other isn't interested. I know children a adopted, who would not treat their mother as I have been. I have been so upset about our joint birthday, you never forget giving birth, but when it's on your birthday it's a double celebration, that day is vivid in my memory, my son and family have spoilt me, taking me out, lovely presents, when they left I just cried because I pretended it didn't matter when with them as would not hurt their feelings. When the door shuts you are on your own with the memories.

Lucklegs sorry to hear your pain at such a poignant anniversary. Awful.

Wishing you a birthday treat, stay strong

I appreciate every situation is different and so are people! You all have my sympathy, i know what it's like dealing with er, difficult people? Shall we say.
I just wanted to try make cornishsue feel abit better

Luckylegs I can feel your pain across the pond and if I had a magic wand I would make it better for you. Sending you a huge hug and a Happy Birthday ?

Luckylegs I'm the same as you as I do have a ND & toddler GD in m life, both of which light up my heart and when I'm with them I feel I can cope with the estrangement from my younger D & beloved GC. However not long after we part the heart-ach begins and the sadness floods in . My little GD was 2 yrs last Monday, she is so cute, we went to LEGOLAND, had such a good day and didn't get back till 10pm! I don't write about my new GD on her as I feel I will be rubbing salt in the wounds of some grans on here that have not been blessed with another GC from their AC still in their lives, but you never know, one day....

I posted before I had finished, as there is a button on my laptop, to the bottom right that I keep accidentally hitting, which deletes my posts like magic Yet normally you would have to hi-light to delete , So I need to try and track it down and put some superglue on it & my 'v' needs a heavy hand!

Reverting to my post of yesterday, re: my C step dad saying he loved them more than his own, when we divorced he never asked to see the C, and never did after that, he did/has got a very busy job, works overseas 50% of the time [or did]. But he sees his C and the youngest came to live with him for a few years, so 'the proof of the pudding is in the eating' as regards to love.

Rhinestone, Yogagirl,Sparkly Grandma, Celeb, thank you for your kind words. I rarely mention my son and family. However much they help and they do, you still feel the loss of the 'lost one' the same. The actual time I am alone is considerable, although I go out and socialise and the room is full of cards and flowers, that emptiness is with me. You shut the door and that's it, you're with your thoughts. I think of those with partners or someone living with them to break that silence when I rerun things.However, I would not have liked my dh to have gone through these last years, he thought the world of her. He would never have put up with what I have though, would have been broken hearted, but his attitude would have been, if there's a problem, get it sorted, if not and you don't want us in your life so be it. I wish I had a cut off button. Out for the day today, I have a feeling I will be treating myself as a birthday present to me. Have a lovely day all of you and thank you.

Cornishsue please realise there is a huge difference between stepfamily and adoption, so please don't think I don't realise that

"Happy Birthday" Luckylegs yes 2 wines Think I may have already said happy b/day, as it was last week wasn't it ? anyway said it again, just incase.
Talking about that 'button' L my ND once said she wanted to take me to a hypnotized, to get estD&GC out of my head, but I said no as I didn't want to erase them! Although I'm sure being hypnotized would just stop the consistent thoughts as apposed to total wipe-out!

Yogagirl I don't think you will always think of ed constantly as after 8 years I dont wAke every day thinking of them and scacely mention them when with friends too busy enjoying myself.

When I go see my dear son I don't even think of her at all.

lucklylegs so sorry your post confused me I was surprised ref adoption as we had talked about giving birth and impossible to forget.

Smileless sound tempting??thank so much for kind offer of convalescence

I am feeling yuk did also yesterday we still spent evening with friends at their beach hut was delightful but I struggled xxx drove us to beach hut they have pin to get gate opened but it was hard walking to loo and doing steps then drove us back theirs for coffee we enjoyed ?So May been bit foolish stuck to white but felt sick hot and in pain. At time enjoyed and delicious food they prepared.
so we had cancel lunch out today but still seeing those friends this evening at club for drinks.

That friend adopted her 2 son was bad lot in prison now daughter not so bad hut went more to in law family after maririage came back to borrow money??

Sadly genes are responsible for a lot.

We are totally awash with flowers and cards for our anniversary one week ago and thanks again smileless for lovely mugs they are next to ones my twin got engraved for us year of wedding and will be treasured ?

Lucklylegs enjoy your treat today I too wish I could take some of your pain away

Sadly my dh cannot believe his little girl he adored can be so callous he is so worried about my surgery 2 weeks tomorrow and I know he is heartbroken not to get reply from his letter.
I am trying block it.
Lazing in bed at moment feeling so fed up with unable do stuff.

On bright note collected ring no 2 and dh is so proud of it wants wear it all time I have few more treatment s to do to pay for it?

Happy birthday,Lucky and keep celebrating your Ruby Anniversary,Celeb.

Feel for you being alone turning over your thoughts and without your husband too,Lucky.That is what makes this thread important.We don't judge, but can empathise from our experience.

Think it was Buggsy who said our estranged AC would be thinking of us too.. hope that would be so.Surely they can't have forgotten their loving family and happy childhood.

Thinking of you all out there..even if you don't post,remember you are not alone.
Have some awesome flowers out in the garden I'll send some to you????

NS

Hope you managed to enjoy your day yesterday Lucklylegs and gave yourself a fabulous tread; you deserve it.

We had some friends to stay over the weekend and they said how lovely it was to see the change in us both since we moved.

Not long now until your op Celeb. I know you're very anxious, I'd be terrified but it will soon be over and when you're pain free you'll feel so much better.

Horrible weather here today; what's happened to our summer?

Thank you Smileless, it was do nice seeing my son and family gorgeous two days, then my sister and I went out for the day . If very weekend was like that how different life would be. You definately made the right choice moving and moviing on, I wish I was more like you, I have a hole where my heart is and just cannot fill it. I don't mention it to friends and family anymore because it just upsets them to think I am sad. Luckily when out with them I do put it away and conscentrate on the now. Oh I am a very good actress.
Celeb, wish I could wave a wand and your operation would be over, not long now, this pain that has taken over your life will be got rid of. Just conscentrate on your convalescence, when you will be entitled to watch whatever tv you want and indulge in your treats without feeling the least guilty.
Everyone else, I think we are all of the same mind, we need a spa, a bar and a good catch up.x

Ooh Lucky,a spa and a bar! sounds fantastic.
NS?

Afternoon or evening ladies oh gosh what change i weather sitting here Cardiff on and it's wet and windy.,

So very very tired, Rosie got us up at 2am were late bed anyway met friends for drinks instead lunch as wasn't up to that.

Then my usual 4am tea toast and pain relief. Got off and woke up at 7am with jump been dreaming about estranged daughter. It was so real it made me very sad,

However my dh made us lunch then we went seemdesr niece and little ones for little boys first birthday oh he is soooo adorable he can oroducly give kisses now !
We had been saved lovley slice of birthday cake and it was wonderful afternoon,

I just sooo tired!
Dh just cooked ham eggs and chips with cuppa and it was amazing.

Yes Smilelss am terrified but you ladies keep me going,
I wondered about dropping xxx a note we go to hospital see my surgeon wed sign consent and final questions.
However that would be very stupid when she didn't respond. To dh. I kinda want to ask her how she can run a spare a thought campaign for youngsters In Care yet not spare a thought for her own mum facing huge op under so much strain and so scared.

Bad idea would only upset me being ignored again,

Northern soul great see you still posting.

Yogagirl your s i law sounds a foul mouthed creature,
My s i law wasn't he was gentle and kind and I guess he just took severe dislike to us, I know my husband was irritated by his health issues,
And I also worried that xxx had to work so hard when pregnant we should have kept our concerns to to ourselves.

Lucklylegs don't run yourself down you cope extremely well,
We all if we honest have huge gap and hold in our hearts where our estranged ones should be nothing can fill that.
It is what it is and we have to accept that.
You have lost a loving husband and like yogagirl face all this alone and that just is unbelievably hard I would imagine,
Thanks for your advice to just focus on dh who has never really let me down.

Love to all x

Come on girls you know I was due for a typo Cardiff meant cardigan??