Should we be more selfish?

Oh, sorry, don't want to bite you with my life history, but I'm only 57 and have fibromyalgia, hip osteoporosis and osteoarthritis in my wrists asthma and migraines, but I'm not a quitter and keep really active!x

Definitely book a holiday. I didn't go to my parents ruby wedding - just never occurred to me - it was 300 miles away and I was busy with work and family, but looking back I wish I'd made the effort as they didn't make the 50th. Your DC are doing their own thing - as they should.

if they have limited holidays then they should go on this one and YOU should be happy for them Its an anniversary and a birthday ,we have them every year ,it wont hurt you if they miss this one ...will it.I think you're being quite selfish enough expecting them to be there when YOU want them too .To even think of cutting them off in any way is ridiculous and OTT .Surely if you have spare cash and they need it you'd be happy to share with them...isn't that what parents do?

Go for it, have a lovely time together. Embrace the luck and love that you still have each other after all these years. Sod the children! I'm in awe of anyone that's made it this far. Have a brilliant time, whatever you decide to do.

DH and I have always celebrated wedding anniversaries just the two of us. Maybe because we couldn't afford a honeymoon holiday. For our Ruby we went to New York for a week in a very nice hotel. Go for it, enjoy your special day however suits you. And congratulations!

But Sparkle, what kind of message does it send your children to stay in an emotionally abusive marriage? That it's ok to treat people that way and to accept this treatment? You say, yourself, that it was the "Biggest mistake" to stay in this marriage when the kids were younger. Yet, you still find reasons to do it now. Maybe it's time to rock that boat and show your ac you won't accept such abuse anymore and that there is a way out.

We are in a similar position our DD has told us she Partner and three grandson will be away this Christmas (devestated) I think she though it would give us time to get use to the idea or plan alternatives but it just means nearly a year of being upset.
As far as anniversaries go we would treat ourselves its really our celebration no one elses so I would suggest a really expensive holdiay.

Emelle is it really about Christmas or DD's hol?

Oh dear Emelle's post really hit home as my poor husband has been 'sidelined' this year on Father's day in favour of DD's friends. They are going to spend a weekend away with them and my husband feels angry and upset and very very hurt.