Niece spotted with someone else

I would say nothing blue60

That "close family member" might have been mistaken or trying to cause trouble for all you know.

If there is something "going on" I can't imagine it staying secret for very long. But please don't put yourself in the position of being the one to blame if it all goes horribly wrong.

Stay out, say nowt.

Stay out of it,once you open your mouth it cant be taken back can it.

nobody elses business so keep out.She may be friends with this "other man" and as far as I know its not a crime to be friends with a member of the opposite sex.I've always had friends who are men...far less bitchy and hard work than many women !And I have been seen to be led across a busy road by the hand by at least one of them..and had lunches and even dinners with them .I 've been happily married for 42 years ,my husband is friends with my friends and has no issues with me spending time with them ,why would he ?

Absolutely stay out of it.

Thanks all - you've confirmed my instinct. I shall stay out of it.

Me too, saying stay away, not up to you to 'save her' it may be a storm in a teacup it may be a gay friend for all you know, if the close family member wants to say anything that's up to her/him but you haven't seen anything at all so how can you say anything

I used to walk around at lunch time with a very good looking colleague several years younger than me if we were going in the same direction. He was a hoot and we would even sit and have our lunch together on a sunny day.
Yup.....gay as a picnic hamper but no one I knew would have known.......makes me smile just to think of it!

Lordy, lordy.....keep out of it!

Don't even think about it! Whether it's an innocent friendship or not it will all rebound on you. Just be around to pick up the pieces if necessary.

I worked with someone who was having an affair with her boss - it started before the wedding but she still went through with it and carried on for months until her husband found out. I don't know what she was thinking - she blithely showed everyone the wedding photos and pretended everything was hunky dory through the whole office knew what was going on. None of us knew the fiancé so no-one said a word. Still feel a bit guilty 10 years on. In this case I think you need a lot more evidence before stirring things. Stay well clear!

It's hard to keep quiet. I know from experience! Quite by accident I found out just a few months after my son's wedding that his wife had been making plans to hopefully leave him, and set up home with someone else, even as she was living with him and making wedding preparations! The other guy was a married father and he bailed out, so she went ahead and married my son - then left him less than a year later for someone else (which also ended in disaster.) I didn't mention what I knew until they split. They lived in a house my son had purchased before he met her but she tried to force the sale of it. If he hadn't employed a good negotiating divorce barrister he could have lost everything. A rotten bloody experience to go through.

What if I had known what she was up to before the marriage? A terrible dilemma. In those circumstances I may well have risked telling my son.

Fairydoll2030 that must have been awful for your son and heartbreaking for you. I think if it were me, I'd quietly say to your niece that there were rumours going round about her being seen with another man and ask her if she was having second thoughts about getting married. I expect that if she is playing away, she probably is having doubts but probably feels she can't tell anyone. You could be the catalyst for her not making the biggest mistake of her life so far and I am making the assumption that you are close enough to her to have an in depth conversation. You don't have to even mention that she has been seen with someone if you don't want to, you could just talk to her about marriage being for life and tell her that you will always be there for her if she finds that she wants to go in a different direction.

I agree, I would risk telling a child of my own but more distant relations and friends............never.

Yes Yes Yes defiantly say something. I was the one who got left for another woman and when I found out afterwards all my friends knew I lost my trust completely. Unless you have walked in those shoes you will never know how devasting it is.

It might be her brother.

Really it's up to the person who has seen these events to say something not you, through hearsay. Perhaps he/she could mention what they have seen to your niece and that, if she has got anything to confess to her fiancé, she should consider doing it soon before anyone else catches her out and leave at that for now and see what she does herself.

Two sightings with a man is hardly conclusive. From your OP it appears it wasn't even you who saw her, so this could just be gossip or a misunderstanding. I would say nothing.

My daughter has been best friends with a man since she was 18. She's happily married. At first her husband didn't like the friendship but now he accepts they are friends and nothing more. I wouldn't get involved in speaking to your niece about what was seen. It may open up a can of worms and you don't want to be held responsible.

We visited a country pub one lunchtime and walking into a small room happened upon my daughter's best (married) friend snuggled to a chap, not her husband. They were sitting on top of each other and she was giggling and flirting away. Her face, when she turned and saw us (we hadn't a chance to leave before she saw us) was a picture of guilt, shame and 'crickey!'.

We didn't say anything to her or our daughter but on the couple of occasions we have met this friend and her husband since this episode, it has proved to be a sticky time.

I would not say anything as it is just possible that behaviour can be misconstrued. On the other hand, you would want the best interests of your niece and her future happiness. If you had yourself seen her behaving 'inappropriately' with another man and are absolutely sure of your facts and you are close to her, you could possibly have a gentle word. You could ask her if she is sure of her wedding plans as it is in her best interests not to go through with a marriage she is not sure about.

Blame does not come int the equation only the possibility of unhappy people but to reach this stage you would have to be absolutely sure of her behaviour and obviously take the risk that she would be upset and angry at you for broaching the subject.

I can imagine your concern but this is hearsay.
Depending on how close you are to your niece, and feel you can mention this to her,then keep out.

Think it's best to keep quiet, you could stir up all sorts of family trouble. If you were to see her yourself face to face, then that's a different matter. It could be that she has changed her mind about getting married and is waiting for the right time to finish her relationship

No, no no. Don't speak at all to anybody about this. If you were mistaken the fallout would be horrendous. If you weren't mistaken it will come to a head by itself. Keep out.

and if it does all go pear shaped don't say anything either !