Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Molly43 no we don't seem be able edit posts the girls have good laugh at my typos,! X

When I ventured into GNland many years ago, the first thread I turned to was one reaching out to grans like myself, who were in great pain and confusion due to severance from the people they loved most - their children and grandchildren.

Over the years I've returned to this thread for support.

Time has proved a great healer, as my beloved 3 daughters, with their partners and my 2 grandchildren will be here spending our first Christmas together for 6 years. This will be the first meeting with my grand daughter (now 6yrs). I look forward to it tremendously, but feel a need to send my support to other grans on this thread especially now, approaching the 'family season', which I know from bitter experience can be a very lonely, unhappy time.

My hope for us all is that this Christmas will bring reconcilliations.

Thank you 'Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives' and your predecessors for - well, literally being my life-line.

Yogagirl.? Hope you managed to get through today alright.
I never realised your daughter was 28, she has plenty of time to change, sure she must be thinking about you today.How could she not, she wouldn't be on this planet if not for you. These days are so much harder.
Surely estranged children must just cut off their feelings and file them somewhere in the back of their minds. For me it's getting through until after New Year, be a bit harder this year I think.

Bohemian I'm so happy for you! What a lovely time I'm sure you will have . It's heartwarming to hear that some times it can work it .It keeps us hoping maybe one day it will be us.. Have a great Xmas with all your family . X Celebgran sorry about your back I hope you have a speedy recovery x

Bohemian, I have read your post and so glad things are reconciled, how wonderful for you having them this Christmas. Perhaps, when you are ready you can say how your reconciliation took place. I can't imagine it happening in my case, but it does give hope, especially to those on here who have never seen the grandchildren born since becoming estranged. So it is so lovely to hear a happy ending.?

Yes lucklylegs it certainly is!

Wonderful to Hear good news for change bohemian And yes be great hear how it happened!

If only but my daughter shows no signs of wanting us in her life or if am honest giving a damn about us.

Not best of evening meals with her godparents I felt quite ill and be both had chronic indigestion oh dear!

Thank you for all your kind words regarding my estD Birthday, yes I am always very business, had classes till, 9.30pm, popped to shops, then sat and watch 'I'm a celebrity!' Soooo tired time I climbed into bed, so I was thankful for busy day.
Next day I had baby GD at 8am whilst ND went for an early hairdressers app. ready for their 1st Wedding ann. on Sunday. We then went to Belfairs Woods for a picnic, shop in Lidl, then home for cuppa, they didn't leave till nearly 7pm. I was going Salsa dancing with my friend, but she has a really bad cold, man flu I think, so we didn't go, but I was so tired after our day out, I was happy to stay home, with a glass of Prosecco and watch 'I'm a Celb'

Boheminan What wonderful news! Enjoy every second. Thank you for sharing with us & giving us your support To think you will being seeing your 6yr old GD for the fist time! I would have to sit down for that! Please let us know what happens, as you will be living our dream! God Bless xx

Still to read your whole thread Molly read first page, but must stop to get ready for work now.

Been busy buying up the 'Black Friday deals', on-line, yes on Saturday & my on-line shop at Tesco, it's such a time saver & doing all your shop in the comfort of your warm home, with a coffee, great! Must go now.........

How wonderful, bohemian! How did the reconciliation come about?

Bohemian what wonderful news....I bet you are beside yourself with joy.

What a lot of us would give for even just one day, sitting with our DGC and estAC, chatting kindly, being loving and catching up.

Way to go, Bohemian....

Molly43 thank you and welcome....

Yes sparklygran wouldn't that be wonderful!

We all delighted for bohemian

I am Struggling again saw dr we asked for tablets I was on 15 years ago but onoyntook one and been quite ill, heart rate increased, couldn't eat tea, and haven't slept!
Oh dear I just don't suit tablets.
Dr did rush us a bit but was definite I needed some help overcome sadness before I got worse,
Going back see nurse tomorrow.

Had cancel acquacsie class as just feel awful tossing turning all night.

Hope you ladies feeing better.

Smilless hope you are ok? Sent you pm few days ago expect you busy bee xx

Afternoon ladies. Yes, I do seem to have been particularly busy Celeb and will look at my pm's when I've finished posting on here.

Are you still taking those tablets Celeb? It's been a long time since you were on them before so perhaps they don't suit you now and you'd be better off with something different.

what wonderful news Bohemian I hope that you have a truly wonderful Christmas day and that it will set a precedent for the New Year.

I was thinking about our eldest GC on Sunday as we were watching 'The Muppets Christmas Carol' and I wondered if he was watching it too. Then Mr. S. said he wondered if ES would watch the film that followed 'Miracle on 34th Street' as he knew it was one of my favourite Christmas films. I said I shouldn't think so. When it started, we both cried.

It's strange though because although I shed a few tears, I have no desire to see him or our GC. I prefer on the occasions that I do think about him, to remember how he used to be and never knowing our GC, I prefer to imagine what they're like. TBH I don't think I could cope with having any contact. I'd be waiting to be CO again and to lose those children again, having got to know them would be unbearable. I don't know how those of you who had relationships with the GC you're no longer allowed to see manage to cope, and I so admire you all.

I'm getting sooo excited about Christmas and the 17th of December when DS arrives from Aus.. We're having plenty of chats and he's doing OK. We just want to have him here with us for a couple of weeks and spoil him rotten with lots of love, cuddles and plenty of home cooked food.

It's going to be wonderful, our best Christmas since the estrangement and I just can't wait.

Hello everyone, just dropping in to say hello. We're back from our cruise, and I'm up to my eyes in a mountain of washing. I'll read all your posts over the next day or two and update myself with everything. We had a marvellous time, visited five countries, and I feel I learnt a lot about the Far East. We made some nice friends, met lovely people, and felt relaxed away from all the pressures of difficult families. So I'll get on with my sorting out and speak to you all soon.

Only took one tablet smilless, no they not suiting me, so going back see nurse tomorrow ?

Welcome back maddyone so glad you had wonderful cruise and met nice people

Did I imagine it or did you start anti depressants before you went?

I am very hard to prescribe for nothing seems suit me.

Am so worried about getting too low which doesn't help.

Good to see you back maddy and glad you had such a wonderful and well deserved holiday.

Try not to worry Celeb, that will only make you feel worse. Sending you a BIG (((hug))) and somein the hope both will cheer you up a little.

Any advice is appreciated! DIL at a loss here!!

You should take a look at this thread on grandparenting forum. OP's post unbelievable, yet all on there advising to cut the poor mother of husband out! You would think you were on mumsnet

Not read new posts on here yet, will do...

Yoga it astonished me more that you think the 'poor mother of husband' shouldn't be cut out. From that post she sounds utterly vile. Nobody should have to put up with behaviour like that.
Nothing as strange as other people's families.

Exactly Busgy555 From that post she sounds utterly vile
I would say this m.i.l would be utterly shocked to read such a post about her & all her son's family & would no doubt give a very different account of it all. I would be so interested to read a post from my estD about me, no doubt it would be as shocking & totally untrue, in my case anyway.

Unless the OP has completely imagined some of the things she's written then the MIL is vile yoga. You don't like it when other people 'read between the lines' with your situation so why do it to others.. especially when the OP seems to be genuinely seeking ways to improve her situation with mil.

Oh Smileless such a sad tale , but I feel the same, I can only love the D that was, I cannot love the D that is, a thoroughly rotten humane being! A mother that can do such damage to her child, her mother & sister, all only ever giving her love & affection. I would want to see my beloved GC again though, as they are innocent in all this, and I know, without doubt my Laila & Jack would not have wanted us cut out, as they loved us as much as we loved them.
It's nice to hear that you & Mr.S are looking forward to Xmas this year, with your DS coming over to stay, only a few weeks now

Celebgran

Bohemian. Thank you so much for your post. I was feeling really down just now, for various reasons. Clicked on the thread and your post was the first I read. It helped very much. Have a wonderful Christmas. X

Smileless, understand your feelings about protecting yourselves against further rejection. Your son coming home and spending time with you will give you and dh such a boost, to be with your son that actually wants to do end time with mom and dad.
Celeb, worried about you sinking lower. You have achieved so much this year, your operation was a big thing to go through and I cannot understand your daughter at all. Your son was such a rock to you, he has shown you how much he cares, so obviously your daughters account of you differs from her brother. If you can enjoy that and those that do care very much for you. Why don't you go out have a facial, a massage, get your nails one and treat yourself as reward for the last year and plan what you are taking to get in the party mood, when you stay with your son at Christmas and how good that will be. I too will be with my son and family.
I feel so much for those without any family and on their own and I know how lucky I am to have mine. We always miss the one not at the table but appreciate those that are.
Yogagirl, somehow your daughter has lost sight of you and her sister, that doesn't mean things can't change. I really believe you never forget those that truly cared for you. I know I often think back to my own grandparents and how important they were to me.

Thanks lucklegs so pleased you are Spendding Xmas with your son too.??

I had awful panic attack this morning woke up around 6 I get them since the estrangement but so much worse with depression. I went see nurse and she tried help. Gave me something for 2 weeks calm me down and advised persevere with anti depressants.

Sadly it's got worse quite quickly lucklegs so beyond simple cheer up remedy, IT was relief to feel calmer after tablet.
Dh took me to see old friend this afternoon I wasn't sure but she is lovely and it helped so much.

ONE day at a time,

Yes lucklegs strange how my son loves me and worries over me, yet my daughter acts like we dead however I do miss my daughter even now knowing she doesn't care weird isn't it.

It's 16 years since I needed any help with depression but guess like dr say I have had awful year and trauma of huge operation followed by losing Rosie just tipped me over edge,

The only way is up!

Hi celebgran I'm so sorry you are going through this it is horrific. I too suffer panic attacks so I completely understand what you are going through. And the depression is awful. I describe mine as a deep deep unhappiness .. You are not alone in any of these feelings. I am glad you are getting some help and I hope you continue to feel some improvement xx