Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Brainwashing behind NC thread has been taken over by mumsnetters, so I'll not go on again, it's a shame it was a very interesting thread. For some strange reason Celebgran is agreeing with the D.i.l's cutting out the husbands mother & the rest of his birth family, they have a go at me and say I should look at the other side, but I would always stick up for the grandmothers, because the d.i.l's arguments as to why their husbands mother needs cutting off from her beloved Son & GC are searched for.

As I've already said to Starlady don't for one minute believe all their praises of you Celebgran, there is only one reason they are doing that, and even if I'm wrong on that [which I know I'm not] Then it's because they have to hang on, like grim death, to any very rare estGM that would agree with them in cutting out their husbands mother. At least Starlady's excuse is that she is not estranged, so therefore does not understand the enormity of the pain caused!

I was called narrow minded on that thread, and do you know what, I will stay that way on this subject of estrangement, because the day will never come when I would agree with a d.i.l cutting off her husbands mother from her beloved Son &GC, I would never praise or encourage. [also applies to s.i.l/wife's mother]

I think by the time you get to GP age, usually you are quiet, love nature, dislike arguments etc. etc. and a visit to your GC would probably be about once a week for a couple of hours, so surely if the d.i.l hates her m.i.l that much, surely for those two hours, she could busy herself in the kitchen or something, than everyone's happy.

Yogagirl I am not a mumsnetter! I think the brainwashing thread is expressing wide ranging views which differ from each other! I personally am uncomfortable with rejection of views just because someone is a "mumsnetter" or doesn't understand aspects of CO! I believe that clear expressions of ones view (and your sad experiences provide you with knowledge that is so relevant!) can help others to think about their own view or assumptions. I cant speak for Celeb but I did not read her posts as agreeing specifically with CO , more accepting a viewpoint within a particular context. As Celeb said in the other thread there are always differing views to listen to and discuss! I think it is a pity that your posts (eg Pass the sick bucket!) may stop others thinking about and taking on board the wisdom if some of your posts, based on your experience. As someone who fears CO, I need to think about others experiences and also views from different people; others too can benefit if things are expressed in a way that opens their ears!

Celeb and I have had differing opinions in the past. But I found her comments on there respectful, measured, interligent and mindful. Which is not something that can be said about yours Yoga.
I think it's disgraceful the way you have begun to bully Celeb on this thread, the disagreement about the courts (she is right btw) and over there. Especially when she is clearly at a very fragile time.
In every response Celeb has given you I can read the effort she has put in to be measured and factual but in no way be offensive. Yet you just snap and bite at her.
You seem to be of the belief that every single CO parent is the victim. That's fine. No problem to me I don't care.
I've specifically told my husband that husband relationship with his mother is his and his alone. HE is the one who got up to her and told her they were done and then told me. I heard about it all after it happened. You seem incapable of ever considering any other view or opinion but your own and then when you are challenged you go on the offensive and attack. You posts to and about Celeb make for very very uncomfortable reading. I can't believe your bullying has been unchallenged.

I actually worry for yogagirls mental health.
She seems to be getting unreasonable. It is not normal to attack folk who have supported you for years.
It is also not reasonable to say every GP is always, always right.
They aren't.

Oh Yogagirl. You really are not a full bottle of pop are you?

5 points I want to correct you on..
1) You are wrong.
2)Not a mumsnetter, soz.
3)DIL didn't cut MIL off.
4)MIL lied about having Cancer which was the final nail in the coffin for him.
5) I think Celeb is FAB

You have 'read between the line's' apparently which translates as you have twisted everything I have said to make my MIL look angelic and me the devil.
You think it's acceptable for her lie about having Cancer and still let someone with that frame of mind around Children.

I have decided to stop commenting on the above issues raised in last few posts as this is supposed to be a support thread for those GPs who are CO, for whatever reason. I do understand why others have commented on Yogas post on this thread, my non comment is not a criticism

Celebgran I think you are having a hard emotions time, with Xmas coming up so

Hi All- Just popping on here before I have to get up . Today I’m having a little holiday party for my mom and daughter and my two GC since they will be at their dads next week for Xmas. ( I hate divorce and loss of holidays)
Yesterday would have been my dad’s 89 th birthday so it was a difficult day as he would have loved to see his great GC but died before they were born. So here I am feeling bad that he never got to see them and then I’m thinking ... does ESS and EDIL feel that way? Do they feel bad about the situation? Do any of our children secretly feel bad or guilty or remorseful? Do they feel bad but are rendered helpless by their pride or their spouse? Are they in too deep and want to see us but it’s too far gone? Anyways you can see how I make myself crazy.
I decide to not cover up anymore when someone asks about our GC. I will not make up lies . I will tell them the truth. That’s my New Years resolution ... no more lies about the GC or ESS.
Smileless I’m beyond thrilled for your reunion tomorrow with your son.
I know you’ll be busy but jump on here and let us know how he’s doing.
YogagirlMaddy**Celebgran*Luckylegs*sending hugs across a frozen pond

'I have decided to stop commenting on the above issues raised in last few posts as this is supposed to be a support thread for those GPs who are CO, for whatever reason.'

I agree Madgran and will step away.

However Yogagirl shouldn't bring issues raised from another thread onto a support thread. She has completely dreamt up scenarios and is giving false information on my situation. What she's been saying, is lies.

violetfloss As I said I do understand why people felt the need to comment on Yogas comments

I totally agree bibbity madgran and violetfloss also annsixty

I have bitten my tongue but I too think yogagirl has problems.

It was incredibly rude her post pass the sick bucket when as annsixty comments I have done nothing but support her.

It's ridiculous to say that all children who go no contact are wrong just as bad as her saying all grandparents are right.

Yes I am bit fragile at moment but have had wonderful lunch out with good friends and am really shocked at reading yogagirl posts.

Thanks very much to everyone who has kindly supported me,

I took on board violetfloss dh had tried and taken advice on what to do best before going no contact and he sounded very caring I wonder if yogagirl actually reads the
Posts am quite shocked,

Wishing you very best violetfloss ?

It doesn't sit well on my shoulders to share posts with someone on one thread about the pain of estrangement, to then see the same person/s on another thread agreeing with d.i.l cutting out her husbands mother from her beloved Son &GC. Isn't that called two faced? and why are mumsnetters on a grandmothers forum, on a subject as painful as this one? They would get tons of support on mumsnet & haled as a hero to boot.

Did look to close my account here, but can't see how to do it, this forum is not helping me anymore, maybe I'll try mumsnet....seconds thoughts Nooo!!!

Yes I read the posts Celebgran !!

At least you've made lots of new friends C

You too Celeb, I'm glad you've had a nice day and feel abit better

challenged you go on the offensive and attack. You posts to and about Celeb make for very very uncomfortable reading. I can't believe your bullying has been unchallenged.

Mean anything yogagirl?

Better than making enemies yogagirl and how dare u be so rude calling. 2 faced

Best if you do leave this group if you feel so
Nasty

Thanks violet floss off to carols now if can brave weather

For god sake Yogagirl.

I have not cut my mother in law out.
My husband decided that after she LIED ABOUT HAVING CANCER.
I've put that capitals after you keep ignoring that HUGE fact.

I lost my dad to it not long ago, so my DDs lost their Grandad. Can you imagine, if we had told them that? The pain she caused from that alone was bad enough, never mind the crap she inflicted before hand.

The reason I am here on this thread is because I am defending myself due to the pack of lies you've said about me, which has been dragged from another thread.
You're making things up. None of it is true.

Violetfloss so sorry you lost your dad to cancer

It despicable to lie about something like that a friend did that to me admittedly she has alchohol problems but it finished our close friendship.

Thank you, Celeb. It made him wash his hands of her. Seeing first hand what we all went through and him too. We thought we was about experience it all again. Our children was heartbroken when he passed so thinking we had to explain to them the same thing again, it doesn't bear thinking about. I'm so glad we didn't.

She can't think much of her beloved son and Grandchildren to put them through that?!

I said I would stop commenting but feel I must now having read the last few posts.
Yogagirl On a previous thread (DIL asking for help) you completely misread my post, taking it as me being unpleasant to you when in fact I had been supportive on a particular point being made! You did then acknowledge your error when pointed out, but I wonder if perhaps you read posts and jump to conclusions so quickly sometimes, thus misreading/misunderstanding what is being said? That might explain why your most recent comments appear to have completely ignored what others have said!!
Why are you so 100% convinced that VF is a Mumsnetter when she says that she is not? Why do you keep ignoring her corrections regarding the situation her family are in? Why are you so 100% certain that Celebgran was "agreeing with d.i.l cutting out her husbands mother from her beloved Son &GC. " when VF has stated endlessly that her husband made the decision partly because his mother pretended to have cancer!!! Why are you ignoring all that - it seems to be because that information does not fit your own impenetrable version of events!!
You appear to have completely ignored my posts on both threads - where I have most definitely not been rude but I have a) asked what you thought the purpose of your posts was b) Explained my perspective on the posts on the other "Brainwashing" thread and tried to explain why I think rude comments like "pass the sick bucket" are not helpful in developing people's thinking on this whole issue of estrangement. I have acknowledged your sad experiences and commented that that can be used to help and support others in this position and those like myself, who fear it!
You yourself, I believe, set up this thread and I have seen you post many kind things for people suffering, and to me for my fears! I have seen the same from Celebgran! Celeb has also suffered greatly, and I admire her for her ability to look beyond her own sad experiences to consider each person' situation in context rather than just from her own experience alone. That is not always an easy thing to do.

You say that this site is no longer helping you. Please, please consider carefully why that should suddenly be the case when you have been here for so long. If you believe , as recently you seem to have done a lot, that others motives are negative, unkind or whatever, consider how best you can address that without causing all this upset maybe?

I think that you still need the support of other GPs and others, those in the same sort of position as you, those who fear being in that position and those who may have a different perspective or who are being supportive. Where will you get it from if you lose your long term network? Please don't cut off your nose to spite your own face, only you will suffer!

Celeb I have to say that you have conducted yourself so well especially considering your recent depression. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of becoming snappy and uncontrollably hostile while suffering from the horrible illness. But you recognise when you're down and force yourself to get back up. That's so admirable.
Yoga. I am not saying this as an attack. But I really don't think you are well and as you have such a good friend who could be a good support I urge you to go to the Drs and ask for help.

As a poster who feels Yogagirls posts have been unreasonable (awful) for a very long time, I don't believe that anybody should comment further as she very clearly has mental health problems and internet posts can have an extremely adverse effect on people in her situation.

Just my opinion- I genuinely have real concerns about her now.

Oh gosh me too now please yogagirl if things have got too much seek help like I did.

This times of year is ghastly for those of us cut off,

Excellent post madgran explaining it all so well.

I think you have just had some v difficult anniversaries Yogagirl recently and I know it's hard u are on your own don't as they say cut your nose off to spite your face.