Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Smileless, thanks for letting us know you and Mr. S. got to FLA ok. Have a wonderful time! Can't wait to hear all about it!

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This is good . I hope you call all read it.

Smile less, glad you arrived ok, enjoy your break.
Rhinestone, I did try to read what you posted, but unfortunately I couldn't enlarge it enough. What is it
about? Feel for you about your son, at least you know it's not personal, it's his personality disorder that's taken him over.
If he won't voluntarily get the help he desperately needs there is nothing you can do. I urge you to keep your

distance, hard as it is. Your little gd must get frightened and when someone is having a bad episode they can do dreadful things because they are on this other planet where only they and their views are right, so others are the enemy. In the UK if someone gets really bad they can be sectioned against their will and get help, but there is insufficient help here to. All so hard for their families who love them but hate how they become. I hope you don't think I am being critical of your son, I'm not, you can no more help being like that than having a terminal disease, no one would choose that frenetic existence. Just know you have to protect yourself.
Maddyone, sorry you're going through this again. To both of you I send my good wishes and some ??

LuckylegsThank you and no I don’t think you are being critical. He would have to be totally delusional for me to go to the court and have him put in a Hospital. I had to do that once with my mother and it was horrible.
As far as the article is concerned have you tried clicking on it? With my phone I just touch the article with my finger and it gets bigger. It’s about how we brought up our children versus other generations. Let me know if you stick can’t read it.
I am so sick about all of this I was in bed all day yesterday with a migraine. I just can’t let this all get to me but I just can’t stop the thoughts.

I feel for you, it's a nightmare. I can't read the article, but it's too late for all of us, we did the best we could start the time,new always loved them. You are suffering stress, it's too much, you are worrying about every thing your don might or might not do. You have to protect and look after your emotional and physical well being, no amount of mulling it all over and trying to find a solution will do anything to help. If you can get out, meet up with a friend, do something different. If I was there I would take you for a meal where you could see and hear the sea and just chill out.
So sorry to hear about the shooting in Las Vegas, it's a horrific tradegy and my thoughts are with you you all over there.

Thanks again Luckylegs.
I know I would enjoy that meal with you by the sea.
I have friends who live in Las Vegas who are okay. What is happening to our world disgusts me. I’m glad I grew up when I did but I fear for those growing up now. Honestly if Canada were warmer I would move there.

It's horrendous for one man to kill and injure so many.

I am feeling v low as managed get dr appt at last and now on antibiotics for throat, and got nerve tablets pregabalin to try again for foot pain to ease me off morphine,
Just had few tears and. mustmvet a grip when I am ill Or low is still feel so sad about my estranged daughter and wonder why she doesn't care.

On bright side got get well for visit to my dear son on 14th.
He is sadly off to Afghanistan again this Thursday,

Rhinestone we could make it a party lucklegs u me Smilelss yogagirl and any other kindred spirits.

Dear Rhinestone, I wish you could hop onto a plane and come join us here in Florida for a few days. I could look after you and give you a great big (((hug))) which you so richly deserve.

It was so much easier when our children were small enough for us to gather them up in our arms and surround them with our love. We would tell them that everything will be alright and they would believe us.

I hope and pray that one day your son will be, if not free of his problems, in control of them sufficiently to see his mum through clear eyes and see you for the person you really are; the person that we see.

Celebour estrangements are so much harder to deal with when we're feeling unwell and you've been through so much physically that you're bound to be feeling exhausted and prone to other ailments. I hope your throat feels better today.

I'm struggling to keep ES out of my thoughts. Knowing that he's seen his GM has unsettled us both. It's as if he's getting too close for comfort, standing just outside a door that could bring him into the new life we've found for ourselves and that's not what we want.

We want to be left alone, left in peace, a peace that's taken us 5 years to find. It's unfortunate that we know he's seen her. It would have been better if we hadn't found out.

9.20 am here and theis breaking through the clouds. I should have bought you with me Celeb, the warmth and peace would have done you so much good.

If only we could all be here together; think how wonderful that would be.

Oh smilless if only I a, sure it would heal my throat infection and my heart ❤️ hope not too long before we can have a proper hug not just a virtual one,

Yes u are right I would be scared too as taken us 8 years to try and heal as much as we can. Part of me still misses her so the old xxx that loved us and we Will always love her despite hating her also for her cruel behaviour.

Rhinestone in some ways,you can make allowances for your sons behaviour he clearly has issues.

Wether my daughter has any excuse I don't know I like to think she wouldn't be so cruel if she didn't but who knows.

Enjoy the lovely sunshine ☀️ and peace smilless you deserve it in my heart I hope one day you and I will both be reunited with our grandchildren in our lifetime,

I must be unsettling your estranged son has reached out.
My daughter did same to her godparents but nothing came of it except a fallout between us as they wrote back to her without a thought to our feelings or showing us letter,

All that upset and our ed never replied.

Today the longest day dh working. He took his resignation letter in so end of an era for him.
I could burst with pride hemhas been practicing as pharmacist for 49 years and 7 months,

Smilless forgot says thank u for dropping by on your holiday it lifted my spirits the photo we took of 4 of us is going in our ruby wedding albums thanks for making that special for us.

Oh well try and rouse Rosie posie she sleeps more than me! And make a cuppa.

Hello everyone, I've been dropping in and keeping up with you all, but I haven't posted for a few days. I feel guilty about writing about some of the awful things my daughter did, I'm sorry if I upset you Celeb, reminding you of what your daughter did, seemingly it was similar. But thank you for your kind words Celeb, and Lucky and Rhinestone and Smileless, I know you've all been through it, and still are.
Celeb, glad to hear you've got new medicines, hopefully will get you feeling better. Rhinestone, hope you don't get any more migraines, they're horrid, I should think it's stress that brought it on. And now this awful shooting in Law Vegas, I feel so sorry for all the victims and their families. What a horrible thing to happen.
Smileless, enjoy Florida, are you visiting family out there? Or just enjoying the warm sunshine?
Well, I'll pop in again tomorrow. See you then.

Celeb, sorry you still not feeling good? I have done so much thinking about my estrangement over the years and know I must have got something wrong, but if you don't know, how can you make amends? What I cannot get my head round is the cruel way I and others been treated. I know without any doubt, I could never say or do the things my loved child has fond. Because one thing that shives out from our lists is one thing, they were loved and wanted. I know exactly how Smilekess feels, her son threw everything away in the most cruel way, has seen his parents broken but has also seen their strength in rebuilding their lives, he has given away his inheritance and had his day, but the doubts are creeping in, it's not so good on the outside, what will his children think of him? Every day I love and miss my d, how she was, not became. That is the worst thing, knowing I cannot ever have what I used to, because regardless of how much they regret, they have shown what they are capable of, it could all happen again. My d knowing with my h dead and losing half my family would affect me, still she did it.
Maddyone, don't feel guilty, we allunderstand. I don't bother friends or family with it, they get more upset than me by it all, it's old news now, it's been so long. when I meet new people now, one of the first thing they ask is, have you children and grandchildren.

Morning Girls

Well back from my lovely Yoga retreat in Crete, it was soooo lovely weather perfect!

Sorry you are still unwell Celebgran. When you've had a big op it knocks your body off kilt and therefore you seem to pick-up bugs more easily, so you may be best staying home as much as poss. I get that home delivery shop from Tesco now, or the click & collect, it's marvellous!

I'll post and read on, so I don't loss it...

Smileless what's your estS upto? Think he's homesick!

There is an up and coming programme on TV called 'The child in time' the preview looked good, so I bought the book, only read the first chapter, but he [the dad] speaks of how he's little girl is growing and advancing, reaching mile-stones and he has seen none of it, as his little girl was kidnapped as a toddler! But that's just how I, and I know we all feel, missing all those wonderful mile-stones of our GC. Can never revisit, or turn back the clock, can never say; Oh I remember when you were little you.....

Celebgran your original thread 'buying GC Xmas gifts' has been resurrected

Luckylegs I feel the same as you, missing the D I loved and adored, knowing that I will never reunited with her, if there were to be a reuniting, it would be with the evil, cruel Mrs Gray!

Rhinestone Maddyone Starlady and all I have read all your posts.

I still have vertigo Didn't allow it to be a problem on my retreat, but couldn't do the full wheel or fish, but could do a headstand..very strange! I'm afraid to try a full wheel, as when I tried on holiday, it was like I blacked out, lucky that I managed to lower my head without cracking it open, really frightened me

Here I am, 62yrs, sever vertigo, doing a headstand in a bikini on the beach What ever next!

I've only posted a couple of times on this thread though I do visit it. But I have to say Yogagirl that made me laugh. With your vertigo maybe it was more comfortable than right way up!

Morning everyone, thank you for kind thoughts. I'm struggling again at the moment, morning times especially. DH wants me to increase my medication but I don't know about that. Medication won't repair my daughter or her husband. I think I'm not coping just now because next week my daughter is due to have her third baby and I guess we won't get to see it. Plus my mum's 90th birthday meal is coming up and I guess my daughter and her family won't come. What I am supposed to do about Christmas presents? Do I send a baby card/gift? I think it's all this that's making me down.
Yogagirl, I love your photo, I wish I could do that! I know you're missing your daughter, as everyone on here is of course. Do you have any other children?
I'll post now (I've lost posts too Yogagirl, it's very irritating isn't it?) and I'll look in again later.

So awful about Las Vegas! My heart aches just thinking about it!

Yoga, you can do that at 62?! Fantastic! I couldn't do it at 20, lol! And you look great, too!

Rhinestone, I was able to click on that article, but could only read the first few paragraphs. Very true, I think, that trying to guilt ac into calling us more, etc. will just push them away. Also, it doesn't surprise me that parenting goals have changed since the 1960s,

SmilelessYour invitation sounds wonderful and I would give you a huge hug back. Both my DH and myself do photography so we are going to photograph the changing colors in Vermont soon or else your offer seems tempting. How is the damage where you are ?
Yogagirl You are amazing standing on your head while having vertigo. I cannot do that fully clothed. In fact I’m lucky to be standing upright most of the time.
Celebgran It seems like you’re experiencing moving forward one step than back two. I have faith that you will be feeling wonderful soon. It’s hard to think that when in pain.
MaddyYou have a lot going on and like me we tend to dwell and analyze things which makes us more down. We don’t send presents or cards as we are sure if they kicked us out of their lives they won’t tell our GC who the gifts are from. Why would they? Then the GC would ask where we are .
Was your daughter invited to have a meal with all of you? Does she keep in contact with your mom?

I don’t know if you got to read the article I posted but the psychologist wrote that our parents brought us up to know to respect our elders and that parents wanted children to be seen and not heard. We used to be able to demand answers from our children. But not anymore. Supposedly we brought up our children to be individuals and thus creating a mind where they could do as they please and if the relationship didn’t make them feel good or feel good about themselves then good bye.
What do you think?

Welcome back , Yogagirl, we missed you.
Rhinestone, agree that what the phsycologist says seems to apply to a lot of younger people. We did a lot out of duty, many adult children don't. What amazes me is the high expectation of parents that many have, are they infallible as parents of our grandchildren because they seem to think we must be.

Well dear ladies i am Feeling lot better! Antibiotics must be kicking in today managed get cancellation appt to get eyes checked was having trouble at night with right eye saw lovely optician I was there 2 hours while shentested eyes. Did all normal tests and extra photo s good news all ok
But she referred me non urgent to specialists as their machines can see further back in eye to be o. Safe side, I had choose new frames while drops took hold as now going have pair for driving at night as well as usual reading.

Well I was treated so well and pleased get such thorough check. Then we needed treat egg bacon . And chips at wimpy with delish coffee,

Oops after that makes sale drew me photo coming next post 2 very pretty prs evening sandals ! Also a pretty skirt size smaller! Now lost stone and half.

Now relaxing In front t v pottered in Garden dh set more plants here's pic of my autumn winter display sorry was poor light technical hitch hope will be able upload later!

Please be careful yogagirl headstand s.not good idea with vertigo! Glad Crete was warm I like Crete,
We are trying do more but agree need rest and recuperate also but have starred physio at gymn! Throat infection has kino led me back but aantibiotics are beginning kick in feel much brighter today.

Yes lucklegs and yogagirl we are all so sad missing how our daughters were, that time ismover for me and I have to it go our new life and son and his family, and my dearest nephews family bring us so much joy that heartache can be let go.

Maddyone please don't worry it didn't upset me hearing Your sad story except very sorry you got go through this too just so pleased see you posting!??

Shoes ladies wonderful bargains, just hope left foot stops feeling numb soon!

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Here goes the garden display for autumn winter we been home more due to my convalescence so extra time sorting garden dh been amazing bless will also try upload the ruby wedding rose!