Gransnet forums

Relationships

Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

(1001 Posts)
Yogagirl Mon 04-Sept-17 07:59:08

Starting new thread.....

celebgran Mon 09-Oct-17 11:26:12

Starlady u correct there has to be element of control there doesn't there?

We will always be here for her no matter what.

Lucklegs how are you?

I am chuffed done my first client since op elderly lady with partial sight I do her toenails. She is soo grateful.

Luckylegs9 Mon 09-Oct-17 13:59:34

Bad day yesterday yesterday, didn't see anyone and tearful, considering writing to her, but frightened of the rebuff once more.
Maddyone, do hope you get to see your little one and your daughter, it is do cruel.
Celebregran, I know how much it concerns you, your lovely don in Afghanistan, before you know it he will be home giving you a big hug.
Yoga, I dread Christmas too, don't want to think of it, might see if I can volunteer to do something, stop me wallowing.
Love to all of you and how I wish there was no need for threads like this, but glad there are, if that makes sense.
I have just spilt bleach down my new joggers, they have pink slodges, so ready for the ragbag, why does it have to be new
clothes I ruin?

Yogagirl Mon 09-Oct-17 17:41:03

Oh dear Luckylegs flowers

I think it's your s.i.l Celebgran that's the problem, same as me!

celebgran Mon 09-Oct-17 18:20:32

Lucklegs ? Sorry Sunday's must be hard,

Today been real disappointment! Sometimes dh and me just don't get on he won't listen!

Never mind he's been a marvellous nurse none of us perfect!

Lucklegs us did her from ed Mother's Day didn't you? Sorry if got it wrong, xx

celebgran Mon 09-Oct-17 18:23:46

Lucklegs sorry about bleach on new joggers?
Typical that's happened to me quite a bit or I spill it on pedestal mat?

JUST look forward to those holidays you sorted for next year! X

celebgran Mon 09-Oct-17 18:24:41

Yogagirl yes s I l got be part of problem but my daughter is major player too it's beyond hurtful I agree xx

Yogagirl Tue 10-Oct-17 07:54:47

Feeling so very sad today, then I do every day! But just thinking about my little GD, denied all that love from her real family that love her so, she has missed so much, not just us missing her. If my D & her nasty husband ever split up, I know he will then 'shout from the hills' that she is not his, so as not to pay child maintenance! So proving this was all a nasty game to him, nothing about loving my GD or D angry sad

maddyone Tue 10-Oct-17 11:21:10

Yogagirl, so sorry to read your very sad post, at least you you can express your profound sorrow on here, and people understand your grief. flowersflowers Hope you feel a bit better as the day wears on.

celebgran Tue 10-Oct-17 15:25:08

Yogagirl??must be in the autumn air I too felt so sad last Mingus had been stressful day I found it difficult to shop with stick dh was annoyed because I asked him to find paperwork ref pensions just one of those days and when I went upstairs I just cried self pity really I thought well I must be. Rubbish mum my own daughter doesn't care about me.

Today I realise I wouldn't have wonderful son there for me if that was true.

Sat night seeing singer who estranged from her mum and her being so kind upset me guess was trigger,
It's different for all of us we have to just be there for each other,

Hope your starting feels better yogagirl your photo on Facebook is fantastic be. Proud of how fit you are and focus on nd and little one,??
if that doesn't work then try ???

Yogagirl Wed 11-Oct-17 09:25:09

Lol Celebgran & *Maddy thank you for your kind words and of course back to you from me, we are all feeling the same pain. I think a mother separated from her child/grandchild will always have an ach in her heart. I say this over & over, but I really don't know how this can make them happy confused hmm sad

Smileless2012 Wed 11-Oct-17 14:27:19

{flowers]for all you lovely ladies.

Got back from 4 lovely days in Venice, Florida yesterday; what a beautiful place. We stayed with a couple we met up with for the first time when we were here last October. I met her on another on line site for estranged parents.

Mr. S. and I felt as if we'd known them for years. Even though we didn't talk much about our estrangements, just being with them and having that connection made our time together very special.

It's great to have that physical contact with people who totally understand what this estrangement is like. We felt it with you Celeb and Mr. C earlier this year. I'll never forget you opening the door to your hotel room and that first precious hugsmile.

We have our dear friends' son, his wife and 3 boys joining us here on Friday for 10 days. It will be lovely to see the boys splashing around in our pool; something we thought our own G would do but of course it'll never happen.

We're going to buy loads of Halloween things and decorate the pool area tomorrow for when they arrive first thing Friday morning.

Take care dear friends.

Luckylegs9 Wed 11-Oct-17 15:43:23

How lovely for you Smileless, you will have yo change your name to Smilemore! Hopefully yo gave a granfest, where we all meet up done where central.
Celeb been having a few of 'those days' as you know. Hope Mr C out of the dog house.
Yogagirl, you are absolutely right, nothing can ever feel as it did can it? It all goes a bit flat after a nice holiday,when you had lots of company etc. Then you walk back into reality.
Maddy, how are things with you.? Hope you get a message,now a few days of passed, about your new grandchild.
????flowers to e

celebgran Wed 11-Oct-17 21:03:27

Lucklegs keep strong have sent you pm.

Back on pregabalin for nerve pain in foot but affects tummy and makes me very sleepy! Think it works.

Got another huge shop with boots double discount not easy hobbling with stick

Smilless we are so proud of memories with you both from July it was wonderful and can't wait to repeat it.
After horrendous journey a hug with lovely lady and her dear husband. I felt we just gelled without our common heartbreak.

So glad you enjoying and have 10'days of fun look forward to.

Now little xxxxxxx is at school we don't see my dear g niece and nephew so often but when we do it's lovely such happy times and that's what we have to focus on,

my dear little Rosie isn't eating v well and is heartbreaking to think of world without her in it, but feel it's going happen,??

SparklyGrandma Thu 12-Oct-17 23:42:07

The Christmas blues are hovering over me already.....any solutions ladies?

Rhinestone Fri 13-Oct-17 12:16:38

Hi All- Got another calf cramp so I am up. It’s been a lovely fall here so Mr R and I have been going on lots of walks in the woods.
SparklyWhat helps me when I get anxious about a holiday is to help someone else out. I know this sounds trite but it works for me. I then walk away knowing my problems aren’t so bad. It helps not to go on Facebook and look at others pictures also. I know this is all a pain in our hearts that never goes away.
SmilelessIm so happy you are having a good time. Venice is lovely and I have walked the shopping area several times. Are you going to see Mickey and Minnie with the friends?
That always cheers me up. Enjoy your time with your visitors.
CelebgranHope your recovery is going well. What does your Dr say about that?
MaddyAny more news after the text? I’m thinking of you.
Yogagirl I don’t think any of our estranged family is happy period.. They are not really happy with themselves but look to find fault in us. That’s easier for them to blame us than take responsibility. Just like my son who said we were all dysfunctional but him.
LuckylegsSending good thoughts to you also

Rhinestone Fri 13-Oct-17 12:21:41

Hers a view from my bedroom

SparklyGrandma Fri 13-Oct-17 15:13:02

Beautiful garden Rhinestone....

Thank you for suggestion and answering...

celebgran Fri 13-Oct-17 16:25:55

Well ladies so very sad can't stop crying we finally losing our beloved Rosie she not been so well different issues and thought we had another reprieve but found lump on her neck and vet says bad news nothing they can do it's her time so sad we going take her. NExt wed to Caitlin vet who did her operations and has cared for her lovingly.

I just can't stop crying and it's so hard dh and I can't help each other I am just too upset be consoled.

Luckylegs9 Sat 14-Oct-17 07:56:27

Celebran, terribly sad about Rosie, can understand fully you and you dh being heartbroken. Enjoy these days you have with her.? We are all here for you and wish we could help.
Sparkly, Yogagirl,I am dreading the Christmas build up more than the day, my friends talking about what they are doing with their loved ones. all those happy families on the tv sitting down to dinner. You can't help but think of all.those Christmas's when things were different. Wonder how did it get youths.
I feel ill at the moment, can hardly do what I need to do, feel achy and incredibly tired, but can't sleep. My right arm
is so painfull and I can hardly raise it, I very rarely Ill, I do get down about my situation with d. Think I have got very run down.
Rhinestone, what a beautiful view from your bedroom, that must lift the spirits. Hope things have settled down for you and dh.
Hope you havectgecbestcwerkend you can all of you.
Xx

Yogagirl Sat 14-Oct-17 08:37:57

Rhinestone thanks for pic, beautiful colours, is that a wood you back onto, or your garden, bet you get lots of lovely birds!

Celebgran so very sorry about Rosie, does she have to go? is she not happy, despite having lump? When anyone says they are letting their pet go, I always think NO! sorry to ask flowers

Luckylegs again I had to get up in the night, to stop the thoughts; if only I had done that, this...
I used to have 12 or more for Xmas dinner & for Sunday dinner, the more the merrier grin for about 30yrs, and now it's just me and my ND& family, seems so small a group for Xmas, we do sometimes spend it with my prev. in-laws or my ND's in-laws, but it's not my immediate family. It should be my youngest D&GC and my Son too sad
Is your pain arthritis L ? How about your son, do you see him on Xmas day?

Hope your enjoying yourselves in Florida Smileless, take it the hurricane didn't hit where you are?

celebgran Sat 14-Oct-17 11:02:07

Yogagirl there is nothing vet can do steroids help make her comfy she is shutting down back legs going hard swallow likes food. VEt prescribed but notbesten all week we have do kindest thing for her be guided by vet let her go before she suffers more. I couldn't keep her suffering and in pain.

I am feeling v unwell too lucklylegs awful,night so we had postpone 200 mile trip to,Steve going on 10th now.

We sat wrote to ed despite all she my daughter and I want her to know.

Lucklegs sparklygran those stupid adverts aren't real life no one has perfect lives/families please don't stress over it.

celebgran Sat 14-Oct-17 11:04:04

14 and half is record for King Charles we done all we possibly can for her always in way better I am poorly so we have this last weekend with her, but case was all packed! Disappointed was so looking forward c our son and family xx

Yogagirl Sat 14-Oct-17 12:18:33

So sorry Celebgran flowers

Starlady Sat 14-Oct-17 12:49:58

So much sadness today. (((Hugs))) to all!

Celebgran, so sorry about Rosie. Her living so long shows that you and dh obviously took very good care of her. Good on you for that!

It's thoughtful of you to let ed know. Please don't expect a reply though. If she's true to form, I doubt you'll get one.

Sorry you can't see Steve this weekend. But it's good that you can focus on Rosie, and you have a lovely weekend with ds to look forward to later on.

Ladies, I've heard that volunteering helps some egps get through the Christmas season (as Rhinestone said, "help someone else out"). Have any of you ever tried this?

One of my egp friends says she tries to think more about the family she does get to see at Christmas and not so much about the ones she doesn't. She tries to "just enjoy what is" (her words) and brush away any thoughts of what "should be." But she says it's very hard and there are days she just can't do it.

One of my other egp friends has taken to giving herself one day to wallow in her misery over the estrangement. She sits at home alone (she's a widow), listens to sad music, reads old cards that she has saved from her eac, looks through all her photo albums, cries all day if she needs to, etc. After that, she tries to brush the sad thoughts away like my other friend and enjoy the rest of the season. But she, too, says this doesn't always work. Idk if anything does.

Idk if any of those ideas will help any of you, but maybe...

Starlady Sat 14-Oct-17 12:50:38

Oh, and yes, Rhinestone, beautiful picture! Thank you!

This discussion thread has reached a 1000 message limit, and so cannot accept new messages.
Start a new discussion