Am I abnormal? Hate being Mum and Granny

The question is asked in the title. Is she abnormal? The answer seems to be a resounding 'no!'

Chris No you are not abnormal, just tired out. It could be depression but equally could be lack of vit d3 and minerals. Perhaps your thyroid is not functioning as it should. I fully understand not wanting to go the antidepressant route and would suggest trying St Johns wort. I am all for going the natural organic way if at all possible.
As for feeling the way you do about the GC I totally get that and feel that it is a coping mechanism to prevent yourself getting drawn into yet another caring role.
When our first GC came along the 'other' granny was unbelievably competitive over everything and was absolutely nonplussed when challenging me to dare stop her changing a dirty nappy I just laughed and told her to help herself. I do believe she thinks I am not just abnormal but totally unhinged! I was not well enough to be bothered in fact quite apart from feeling that I have done all that thanks, got the t-shirt etc and don't need it anyway. We are all different and thankfully in our case we rarely have much contact with the 'other' GPs nowadays and funnily enough, in spite of not changing their nappies, we have very good relationships with all the GCs. As my DH says they don't remember having their nappy changed never mind remembering who did it! The world will not stop spinning if you back away from all your caring roles until you feel you know what you want to do in the future so I would recommend that is what you do and change direction completely. Perhaps you need to write out your own 'bucket list' and then go for it! Look after yourself because it seems you are very much taken for granted.

How odd life is at times ? here is me wishing I was able to have had more children -a bigger family as now I am older & widowed I am forever on my own - although I still work full time - but always arrive home to a little apartment - no one to talk or argue with ? but on reading about your life I do wonder who is better off me or you? I myself did come from a large family- I was eldest of 5 - so can identify with family trauma at times lol but then at times I am not sure which is better being alone or surrounded with different members of your family shouting ranting, raving and yes at times laughing & having fun - but having no time for yourself? And - no you are not abnormal or bad or nasty!!! Life is just strange!

Annie, yes, "Life is just strange!" What a good attitude! Try to apply that to your own situation if you can.

Sorry you feel lonely when you come home after work. Can you, perhaps, reach out to friends or family? Chat them up on the phone, "talk" through fb or meet for drinks? How about those 4 siblings of yours? Can you get in touch with any of them when you want someone "to talk or argue with?"

chris
I'm not a professional but you sound depressed to me and need something more than family in your life to bring the joy back.
Is it absolutely necessary for you to work 50 hours a week?
Is it possible to change your job to something that you look forward to going to every day.
Life can be short try and put something into your life outside the family situation which you are happy about.
Keeping a journal is a good way to get your feelings out, keep it private so the family don't read it.
Do you have friends you can talk to about your situation?
Try if you can talk to your husband about how important it is for you to get away for a few days at Christmas.
Life can be hard I know I lived in poverty all through my childhood and into my early twenties but we can get through the hard times.