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Generational relationships

(57 Posts)
mollie Wed 03-Jan-18 11:29:39

Court orders dentist to pay his own mother for raising him

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/jan/03/court-orders-dentist-to-pay-mother-for-raising-him?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

I'm not sure what to think about this but it is interesting how some cultures see it as a responsibility to care about family. Here, it seems to me, once we are adults we are off the hook as far as caring for family goes.

Yogagirl Tue 09-Jan-18 10:08:15

I obviously need to repeat; My dear Mother suffered from vascular dementia for 6yrs, I know fully the heart ach, I know fully the pain, I know fully the difficulties for my mum, for my dad and for me. I studied this condition for the 6yrs my mother suffered with it and still to this day, I learn more.

123flump Tue 09-Jan-18 10:23:03

Yes Yogagirl there is a tablet that can slow down dementia/alzheimers, it is Aricept (also called Donepezil in the generic form) I said it had been tried and didn't work for her but the point about it is it doesn't turn the clock back, it can slow it down but that doesn't help with what people are currently suffering.

I also explained that other things had been tried and nothing works for her. The human brain is very complex and there is no magic tablet just things that might help.

If you have been involved with dementia you will know the oft repeated saying, "If you know one person with dementia you know one person with dementia." It is so true, my relative has a particularly difficult presentation, that comes from a psychiatrist who specialises in dementia and Alzheimers. I think all forms are heartbreaking as we lose the person we know but without a doubt some people have a more challenging presentation than others.

Alexa Tue 09-Jan-18 11:09:50

Yogagirl wrote:

"the wonders of the right medication, and with my mother & her fellow home mates, the dangers of the wrong medication too!"

An old experienced GP told me that often an elderly woman is diagnosed as depressed and medicated accordingly but she actually has underactive thyroid which is so easily medicated. Mind you, this was twenty years ago when maybe routine blood tests did not include thyroid tests. I mean diagnosis might sometimes be biased towards whatever is the trend.

123flump Tue 09-Jan-18 11:24:54

Alexa, that is true. One of the things I found frustrating was the GPs assumption that once she was diagnosed with dementia then everything was dementia. Just because you have dementia it doesn't mean you can't have cancer, pneumonia or anything else. I found the biggest problem was getting treatment for depression which she clearly had, it can be confusing but it is so easy to dismiss these things.

I do think it must be terrible for people without family/friends to advocate for them. The fact that my relative is now in an excellent home with a very proactive manager and a GP that runs clinics at the home (which means he has far more knowledge that the average GP in relation to these conditions, in my opinion) has taken such a weight off my shoulders. When she was at home I had to keep so many balls in the air with the biggest one being them re prescribing a medication that had a terrible effect on her mental health.

I had more rows with doctors/nurses/social workers in the last year she was at home than I have had in a lifetime times 10.

Yogagirl Tue 09-Jan-18 16:33:36

Very interesting posts Flump and yes very true. The Aricept wasn't about to help my mum unfortunately, wish it had have been!

True Alexa.

My mum took so many tablets, which I did question, could this be given in liquid form? no, too expensive, could the capsule be opened and the powder given with water no, not good for the stomach, and so on.
I've learnt a lot about the medication my mum was on since she passed and really wonder if she needed it all, some I've since learnt have high negative qualities! You need to trust the Doctors, but as we know, with the best of intentions, they are not always correct. When you have a loved one with a terrible disease, you do as much research as possible and end up knowing a lot more than your average GP or nurse.

Wally Tue 09-Jan-18 18:08:07

Agree with every word you said Day6. I truly believe that if you bring children into this world you are responsible for them until they are able to look after themselves. My children are all grown up but my wife and myself still help them whenever they need it.