My husband has been having an affair.

Anniepops - lovely post.

Anniepops sounds like my husband -throwing me carrots sticks!

Denil dig deep and find the strong woman you are.

My first fiancee cheated on me. When I discovered it (his other girlfriend contacted me) I also discovered that he "recycled" some of his stories and told us both the same lies on occasion- mostly looking for sympathy. I was devastated until a friend said to me "When I see a woman devastated by a cheating man, I just think That will never be me ...

I married my first Husband at 17. Had 3 kids at age of 23. He decided to cheat on me with a 17 yr old . Told me he was going fishing with his mate. I never ever forgot that. I forgave, but because I couldn't forget,it was over for me. I just lived for my DC after that. Don't lose your self worth chuck. It doesn't do you any good. Wishing you all the luck in the world.

So sorry to read this. A similar thing happened to me. My husband of almost 24 years at the time joined a dating site for married people looking for an extramarital affair. Despite many promises, he didn’t change and, in Dec 2016, having bought a brand new house together in a completely new area, he left me for some woman he’d known for about 5 minutes. I divorced him. Heard recently that he married her not long after the decree absolute was granted. Third marriage for him (he’d been divorced for two years when I met him). Getting rid of him was the best thing I’ve ever done. You must look after yourself and your own needs. Get a good solicitor. I learned the hard way that leopards don’t change their spots, but onwards and upwards! I wish you all the best.

Denil, what do you want. x

So sorry to hear of your situation. I can sympathise as I am going through something similar myself.

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My first husband cheated on me with a neighbour. I divorced him as I could no longer trust him: the betrayal was too great. I could not forgive him for the way he had used our young daughter in the lies (another story). He went on to do to another woman exactly what he had done to me - not only having an affair but clearing the bank account. I learned later that he had been having affairs all through our married life (13 years).
I married again, a wonderful man with whom I had over thirty years of happiness, until he died nearly two years ago.
You need to think very carefully whether you would ever trust your husband again. Could you live with that doubt? I know how hard it is now but, you really need to think about what is best for you. Take your time, weigh up the options and take advice, preferably from a disinterested party. Good luck!

Hi ,Im going through the same thing at the moment . Mine cheated on me two years ago after 43 years of marriage . Its sad because we have Grandkids and as you can understand my whole life has been centred around him and my family . The trust has gone and so the marriage is over although we continue to live in the same house . He doesnt understand why I cant trust him anymore . I wish he would go so I can start over but we jointly own the house and both want to be near our children and grandchildren whom we babbysit for . Its to costly for us to split the house and live in same area .

Been there......my ex is now happily married and I am unhappily single. It's 20 years now...I wish I had the confidence to go 'dating' ...had one or two offers but not interested. Too late now, so just living my life with the kids and grandkids....sometimes I think I am too dependent on them for my happiness....well, I keep giving them money left, right and centre, for 2 reasons....don't want the taxman to get it....I have enough to see me through...I don't have extravagant needs. Also, my ex spends every penny of his money, so I know they won't have anything from him. Maybe, I carry a bit of guilt for not making a success of the marriage...takes two to tango and all that.

paddyann you appear to be contradicting yourself in posts you are sending. Here you say that you love your kids honest, but your husband is most important in your life. In the post you sent me you say you wouldn't want to know your husband if he didn't want a relationship with his/your kids....ever so slightly confused about your views.

Denil963 you posted a thread about this last month, as things are the same it’s time to get your solicitor involved before your husband goes to his and tries to get his hands on the house.

Hi
Thought I would update. It's been 6 months. He moved out February - and the house which is mine was placed legally in a trust before we married. I talk to him some days but am much stronger and have a good social life with friends. I'm unsure if I will sell or rent a room, but at least life is peaceful. It's dad, because aspects of my ex I still love deeply. But I'm not blinkered and no longer trust him. I've lost his family in this process which has been very hard too. But I'm doing well so far.
It's been a very hard 6 months, some days I didn't know how id cope with all the lies and deceit.
But it's his story. Not mine. All my friends say I have the light back in my eyes. And I think I do x

Good on you girl Deni1965. Coming up to fifteen years ago I was on a Greek island with my now ex. I was painfully wondering why I felt so unhappy, neglected and unloved. Work had been so hard that year and I was so very much looking forward to that holiday and spending time with the man I loved. Of course that was all onesided. I think my ex must have felt the week was such an endurance, although he was able drink copious amounts of beer to soothe the experience and top up his tan for his lady love (I am convinced he told her it was a lads holiday as that is what I was told when he took off to Spain with her). Well, now here I am, on another Greek island with my husband of four years. I feel loved, happy, fulfilled and enjoying a life I could never have dreamed of. I wish the same for you Deni. X

Annapops that's so lovely to hear. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone really. All the months of lies and trying to tell me it was my fault. I've become cynical I suppose. I'm so happy for you the ending is beautiful ❤