I am petrified

You will be fine, just try to focus on your date and getting to know more about him.
I have been through this a few times and would recommend OLD to anyone. Met my OH that way but also met a few nice enough men but unfortunately we didn't have much in common. Just keep it light.
Good luck and please let us know how you get on.

I met several very nice blokes in this way, and one of them is still my best friend. We shan’t marry because of family commitments and religious differences, but I’m very glad to have him in my life.
I also had a few less pleasant experiences, as there seems to be out there a vast army of obese, sweaty and charmless men in nylon shirts, who have never visited a dentist.
What a bitch I am, you may think, but if he can’t be bothered to have a wash and a tidy up before meeting me, then I can’t be bothered to stay and be civil.
Go on your date and enjoy yourself - I hope you meet a soul mate or at least a very nice friend.
If however, your instinct is ‘Oh no!’, then remember an urgent appt. and run for it!

I agree with Wombat no subterfuge, if it isn't working be honest in a kindly way and just simply tell him so. He will respect that. He must be going into it with as much doubt as you so respect him and no pretence.

A friend of mine tried online dating and said she would never do it again. No idea what changed her mind but she met someone online, he moved nearer to her and is now moving in. They are now expecting an IVF baby and she has never been happier.

If you have no expectations you won't be disappointed and maybe pleasantly surprised. Sounds like you have been taking it carefully so far and already know a lot about him. If it were me I would ask about his football team, gold or whatever and if he bored me to tears that would be the last time I would meet him!

He’s probably as nervous as you. Just be yourself, and good luck.

I’ve been down this road 20 years ago and we are still together, so here is what I did.
Meet for a drink so you can get a quick escape if all is not going well. So your not stuck with him for to long
I actually took someone with me and introduced my friend to the date so he knew his face had been clocked, my friend then left.
Ask lots of questions about him and keep personal stuff private, so you seem interested without giving to much away.
Write down questions if necessary if you think your going to dry up
Nip to the loo to if you need a breather and check your questions
If. He asks you for a second date and you don’t want to. Don’t fob him off, we all deserve the truth he maybe as scared as you are.
Relax, be yourself and enjoy
Wear your lucky pants you never know!!!!

Meet and eat in very public place; shake hands when you greet each other; say you will go dutch with the meal bill; dont give home phone number or address; tell a friend where you are going. On parting, don't linger near your car - get in, lock the door from inside then drive away. Don't expect too much. I did three, and met one narcissist, one bore and one liar.
Then I met a nice widower whilst walking my dogs with a friend! We are now having a lovely time.

Very brave of you ! Just treat him as another friend, relax, enjoy. Also, trust your initial instincts about him ....

I keep getting pictures at the bottom of this thread of people looking terrified on roller coaster rides!

I had been divorced for 11 years then joined Match.com.
Met some nice guys and a couple of fibbers.
I made certain rules from the outset. No going to his house or mine, no telling him my address, no intimacy, no late night dates and no drinking/ driving.
3 months later I met my OH who lives a 10 minute drive away. I wasn't keen at first as he looked a bit like a womaniser but that was far from the truth.
Been together for 5 years this summer but I still have my own house and like my own space.
He's 22 years younger with a young family and I have met them all.
Sort the wheat from the chaff and do all the background checks such as 192 people finder electoral register and remember the information he gives you so you can cross check.
If, after meeting, you don't intend to see him again, just shake hands and say that you don't think that it's something you want to pursue.
It's also a good thing to pay your share, regardless of what he says. Too many women dine out on freebies such as dating lunches and men get wary.
Good luck and stay safe.

Wear something you feel really confident in. That will relax you. But dress for the occasion in smart casual. I started online dating last summer and after a few hiccups (practice runs) met a really wonderful man which was lovely as I’ve been a widow for over 4 years.

I think what I found helpful was the mistakes I made in the beginning, so that by the time I met my boyfriend I knew what I didn’t want.

Good luck, it is nerve wracking, I know that. But once you get the hang of it, you’ll have fun.

I have a friend that has dipped her toe into internet dating and she finds that a coffee rather than a meal is a good ' first date ' as it could be just for an hour rather than the time to eat a meal. If the man seems ok then a toastie, or panini makes it last longer. She also likes to arrange it in a garden centre so she can at least have a wander if it all goes t**ts up !! Good luck and keep us posted !

No advice to give as I haven’t dated since 1965, but well done for giving it a chance. Wishing you all the very best and I’d love to know what happens.

Some excellent advice here Rolande. Nothing to add from me other than to say I hope you have a lovely time and don't feel let down in any way. Do keep us posted on how it goes.

Good luck with your date, but be very careful, dont talk about your finances et, you probably wont, but a friend of mine met a man online, they went out for a while and he asked her to marry him, she was over the moon, thought the sun shone out of him
He ended up borrowing her car, his was in the garage being repaired he said, e never brought it back, also fleeced her out of thousands, he was just a con man, she got her car back eventually through the police, but there are some rats out there, hopefully your date will be genuine, but be careful,silly woman met another who she was more wary of, but he turned out not so nice either

CARE but dress as if you were meeting a friend for lunch. Shake hands when you meet I think. Put up with him for the duration of the meal even if he’s a total bore or slob then be vague about a second date.

If he’s OK still be careful but friendly and take things very slowly.

Good luck, Rolande!!! You will be fine, dress for comfort in something which makes you feel good...he's a biker, in my experience it will be fun, if nothing else.

I've nothing to add to all the good advice, but quite understand your anxiety, I would feel just the same! However I often find that the things that worry you most, frequently turn out well in the end. The best of luck!

Good Luck - hope it goes well.

Unless there is table service, and unless he's disabled ,it may be a good idea to ask him to go to the counter to order for both of you. In my experience it's awkward when meeting someone when both are queueing .

Lots of good luck. You have nothing to lose as long as you follow all the advice on here. A pleasant lunch out at the very least. Just enjoy.

Most dating sites have 93% men and only 7% women, so if he is not right, there are lots more men out there looking for someone like you.

I like "Illicit Encounters" as you can search for a specific profile of someone near you

You will be inundated with strange offers so, once you discard the "no-hopers, you might find your prince - even if you have to kiss a few frogs along the way

Enjoy the journey !
.

D'you know, sometimes people are derogatory about online dating, yet, before the internet, people went on blind dates, which is how I met my husband nearly 40 years ago...

Surely illicit encounters is for people who are after something, well, illicit?

Rolande.
Lots of great advice already. Can I just mention something that whilst it sounds so obvious, caution can be thrown out of the window.
One of my Friends, separated last year from her husband.
She has been using a dating site, and has had many contacts some of whom She has met, but so far, no spark.
However, in her searching, my Friend has been contacted by a couple of Men looking for a Partner, who have turned out to be far from genuine. There seems to be a pattern too.
They started off emailing all hours of the day, very chatty, and very romantic. ( meetings were not arranged as they usually live a long way away ). My Friend was truly flattered initially, but then realised that all was not was it seemed.
They then started asking for a monetary 'loan'.
One of them stated that he desperately needed money for his Daughter to pay for a school trip. He asked for £300.
He even got his 'daughter' to FaceTime my friend.
Luckily my Friend was not drawn in, and told him that she had no money. She also asked him why would he ask a stranger for money?
He never replied, and in fact he disappeared from the site.

I do not want to put you off Rolande, as there are a lot of good genuine Chaps on these sites. I just wanted to tell you to be on your guard, that's all.
If they ask for any money, then run for the hills.

So we need to know how it went? You hopefully had a lovely time.