Its more real now

True enough,whether we like it or not,whether we choose to hide ourselves away from real life or not,death is inevitable for us all.

Whilst it cannot be the subject chosen at every family gathering, it is surely very astute to set aside a certain period to hold these family discussions.
Whilst Age U.K`s Life Book may well be the pointer to get all those necessary details in order to make the period around death less of an harassment...........seeking certain papers and all the million and one things required grouped properly under the one same heading makes perfect good sense.
When these affairs are thus organised, then one can quite happily go back living life to the full yet again,it should only take a little while out of the rest of your life.

It certainly needs our attention and surely sooner is better than later?
Thank you Applegran for taking the "proverbial bull by the horns".......spelling it out in plain but simple form.

This thread is a good idea Applegran and has certainly given me something to think about. Thank you.

Thank you Applegran - I've just used your link and ordered one.
I think about dying a lot, more so now I'm at the same age as other people I know/knew have died. I got very maudlin when I discovered that one of my first boyfriends (yes, there were many, ah the memories ) had died last year.
I think about it in relation to my GC - those who haven't even been invented yet and those who we don't see, wondering if I'll have time with any of them to be of any significance.
I remember my mother keeping only what she needed and having the most spick and span cupboards and drawers "just in case". She even did her washing every evening before bed so no undesirables were ever left for someone to find. That's not me at all so good luck to whoever has to sort things out after me - apart from the Life Book, which I'm sure they will be happy about. Actually more so me, as I'll be able to find out just when the flipping car needs insuring again, who the house is insured with etc. Online everything is hard for me to keep track of so I've asked for it in the post. Happy days.

I have put all my financial information (such as it is!) in a password protected file on my computer and have given the password to my sister in law who is also my executor. A copy of my Will and Power of Attorney is in my desk drawer with details of the solicitor holding the original.

Thank you Applegran, I have ordered the booklet online.

I too have ordered a copy, thank you Applegran. My OH and I have been discussing the issue of knowing each other's passwords etc, I'm sure this will help.

What a great idea. It's something I've been meaning to do but to have a booklet to help sounds really good. Thanks for the idea Applegran. I've been thinking about death for some while now - having been close on a couple of occasions. Having a booklet makes the thoughts more positive!!!

Thank you, Applegran. It's one of those 'I'll get round to it sometime' projects, isn't it? Or perhaps that's just me!

Thankyou Applegran. I will order the book as well.
It's good this topic is being discussed. We can see how the rest of us are planning for the inevitable.

When my parents went past 70 my sister used to say " take pictures every time you see them - each time could be the last". And now we're both at that age - I wonder if our kids are thinking the same.

I try to be pragmatic about it, but I do dread the thought that one day it'll all be over. The thought of my grandchildren just having vague memories of me, and our time together, is the thing that pushes me to tears.

Thanks for the tip about the book - I'll get one.

I shall order that Applegran so thanks for the info.
It’s only natural to realise we don’t have all the time in the world once we are older, but thinking about it too much
Is a very negative thing for us to do.
I plan to live positively until it comes to an end.
The DC will need to rent a couple of big skips at that point
( at our expense.) There will be no ‘Swedish death cleans’
Going on here.

All of this is very important. I don't know if it's included in the Lifebook, but you'll also want to make sure you include the passwords to any online accounts that you have. Not necessarily Facebook, but if you get e-post or have online accounts for bill payments (e.g. cell phone or Internet) people will need to know those.

Another important point, especially if you store your Lifebook on the computer: make sure you write down your computer password somewhere, if you have one! I can just imagine the difficulty if the Lifebook is stored on the computer and the computer is password-protected and no one knows the password. It sounds so simple, and yet it's something one could so easily forget.

Thank you agnurse - I agree it is very important to keep passwords in a way that will enable our children to access various important things when the time comes. I have chosen not to keep them on my computer - not sure it would be safe. Of course nothing is totally safe, but I"ve printed a page of passwords and keep it somewhere they can find, but not obvious.

Only 2 skips lemongrove? Mine will take about 6!

I ve put everything I can think of in a folder and also left a note which I put on the table at night and put away in the daytime saying I do not want resusitating if I have a terminal or very serious illness
If you have an iPad or iPhone the passwords are automatically kept in settings
I ll think I ll get that book too thanks Applegran as I m sure to have forgotten something

The Bodach and I have just prepared a list of whom to contact when we go. I’d know whom I should contact, but he wouldn’t have a clue!
We’d also kind of started the ‘ Swedish Death Clean’, and I found it quite depressing getting rid of things I’ll never use again.

BlueBelle

In my area we have something called "Goals of Care" which details what a person would want if their medical condition worsened. It ranges from full resuscitation, to medical care (treat active medical issues, may do surgery, may admit to hospital but no resuscitation or ICU admission), to comfort care only (give medications and care to treat symptoms only; don't treat active medical conditions; no admission to hospital - usually used for end of life care). We often recommend that people keep their Goals of Care sheet on their fridge. This way if emergency services had to be called it would be easily visible to first responders.

I have now ordered one. My best friend told me about this some time ago, having completed one herself, but until now I had not got round to ordering one. Thank you for jogging my elbow.

Ideally I would like at least another 15 years so that my dgc will always remember me. That means such a lot to me but, realistically, I know I could be gone tomorrow. It didn't seem to be an issue when I was married, you just assume your other half will deal with things but now that I'm on my own I do worry about leaving every thing sorted for my children. Like dontaskme's mum, I am also slightly obsessed with only keeping what I actually need and I have a folder listing everything my daughter will need to do, in order of importance. I update it every January and its a job which always makes me cry

stella1949 If it’s any consolation I have strong and happy memories of both my fathers parents who died in the year I was 7! I even have some good ones of my mother’s father who only visited about 4 a year and died when I was 5

I'm kind of hoping to be around for another 20 years or more,like my mum,granny and GG .By then my children will almost be the age I am now so I would hope they are worldy wise enough to know what needs done.If they aren't clued up then I haven't done my job properly!
Meantime we have told them exactly what we have to leave and who gets what,its all in the will so they wont have any issues with that.Personal stuff has particular people to go to,mainly GC ,my D knows the details and anything no one wants they can sell/give away or dump ...Its just a part of life that everyone has to go through,it doesn't have to be difficult even if it is emotional.
I will admit to being a very practical person though and I organised my Dads ,my mums and my FIL 's funerals .The first before I was 40 .

Jenpax - thanks for that reassurance ! Come to think of it, I too have very wonderful memories of my Gran, who died when I was 8. She lived with us and was bedridden with arthritis - I used to go into her room after school and we'd listen to the soccer on the radio, and do crosswords. If my grandchildren remember me as fondly as I do her, I'll be happy.

A slightly different point about the end do you ever wonder how

I visited an old friend yesterday, she’s obviously worrying about the how BlueBelle.
She’s 98 and is scared about the event, so sad.
I hope that I reassured her and said at her age without any health problems she will just go to sleep. I hope she believed me and doesn’t sit every day for the rest of her life being frightened.
I also hope I was right.
Thanks Applegran for the nudge.