Childlees by choice or circumstance

I was actually told I must be a disappointment to my mother because I don't have children!

Princesspamma, yup!! I get you.

I don’t understand why people need to say why they are childless. It’s no ones business unless the person in question speaks about it

My experience is that if a conversation turns this way, the person without children will be kind enough to give you a clue to save you from saying something insensitive. My DD for example will say openly that she’s childfree by choice, and I’ve had strangers tell me that “sadly” they don’t have children. That’s as far as the conversation needs to go, unless the person without children wants to discuss it. On the other hand I’ve had a woman with one child tell me that she didn’t feel the need to have “umpteen” children to validate herself as a woman, when she found out I was pregnant with my second, and another with one child offering to teach me about contraception, when I told her I’d three children! There are some rude people about!

My younger daughter is unable to have children, when she was in her late twenties and thirties she was asked when she was going to start a family, now in her forties nothing is said.

Maggiemaybe

My parents, having six children, were sometimes criticized for having so many. My response would be, Which ones would you suggest they not have had? My sister and I are the oldest two. Then my parents had a boy. People might say, "Well, then they should have another to even it up." They had another boy. Then they had two more boys. My second youngest brother has spent considerable time and energy teaching music to children living in underprivileged neighbourhoods even though he had better opportunities elsewhere. My youngest brother is in training to become a police officer.

I'm childless by choice. I'm rarely asked why this is, but if so I say the following:
1. The thought of giving birth terrifies me
2. Getting fat would disgust me
3. The responsibility of a baby/child's life would worry me
4. Competition between BIL/SILs 'perfect' children would make none of us happy
5. Overbearing ILs would madden me
6. No time for oneself
7. No peace and quiet
8. Unhappy childhood memories - the rough and tumble of family life just isn't for me - luckily DH agreed.
Eight good reasons not to have children. No regrets.

Nice one/eight, lovebeigecardigans55!

People have often assumed that because I do not have children that I do not like them. My own family even thought that, and said so to the point that my sister even threatened to throw my contraceptive pills away!! One day, whilst visiting my husbands' family at a Party, a family friend, a lovely old chap asked my Husband and I if we had any children. His grandmother immediately stepped in before I could answer and said in a loud voice, NO, and I don't know why they are waiting either !
It was awful.
No-one wanted to know why I did not want Children, but then again, no-one really asked but I could not tell them then. I was terrified of Pregnancy.
I was terrified, absolutely terrified beyond belief.
I had seen my Mum in labour when I was barely a teenager. I was on my own in the house as she screamed, asking for Gods help to put her out of the pain. I did not know what to do. All I knew was that Mum was in so much pain, I thought that she was dying. I called for an ambulance who arrived to deliver my half brother just in time before Mum was whisked off to hospital.
Several months later, my Mum called for me to go to the toilet. I will never, ever, ever, ever, forget what I saw. Poor Mum had suffered a miscarriage and asked me to look to check. I could see the foetus. I felt sick.
I still don't know why Mum did this to me. I was just a teenager.
The thing is that I love kids, I adore my Nieces and Nephews, as well as my great Nieces and Nephews, but people still judge you when you have not had your own and make the assumption that you do not like kids.

Nobody’s business but their own.

You are so right Maw Broon, but the expectation is still there, and always will be I bet.
You feel that you are not a real woman unless you can produce a child. My heart truly goes out to everyone who has for whatever reason not been able to have a child or chooses not to be a mother. ???? to all of you Ladies.