Bored to Insanity!

Perhaps a taxi, or see of you can get some sort of transport help from a community group,put your energy into that good luck, doesn’t sound like he is going to change.

Hi fumanchu
I can Commiserate re your feet
Constant pain in your feet makes life very difficult.

Apologies but is it not time for a move? Somewhere a little less remote?
Hopefully gain a bit more independence.
Meet people and join clubs just a short taxi ride away.

Do check your community transport or if that doesn’t come to anything if neither of you are doing nothing and going nowhere maybe you have some spare cash for a taxi
Is a mobility scooter out of the question ?

Do you have a friend who could take you to the local Garden Centre they have wheelchairs if the friend could push you round?

Are you too young to go to a day Centre for a break ?

You could contact Age Concern and ask for help.

Taxis etc. as above. Coach trips, including overnighters. Just get out there - I know and understand about the pain, but if you pick your places and breaks with the lack of mobility in mind then it could be possible. Just because he doesn't want to go anywhere does not mean you can't!!!

I have gone places on my own or with friends for decades. There is no need to curtail your life; and no need for him to go out if it's not his thing.

Just live YOUR life!!

Fumanchu, make a huge effort and go somewhere, this could jump start the OH, at best he will change or at worse it will alter his routine. Phone a taxi, go to maybe a hotel or library, have coffee, lunch, read a book, then get the taxi to take you home.

Is it an option for you to see your provider about chronic pain management? There may be medications you could take that would help with the chronic pain.

Can you get up,to Edinburgh fumanchu? (“new” reopened Waverley line?) or somewhere also in the Birders, Melrose perhaps?
Just a change of scene might help, then perhaps arrange a wee mini meetup with one of the Scottish gransnetters, or invite a friend to go with you, just a coffee and a chat. A trip to a Garden Centre is a nice afternoon out.
Can you not talk to,your OH about how you feel, though?

“Borders” of course

If I really go on at him then I get "I'll take you, ok?" - but he never takes me anywhere. What can I do?
Can you organise something, eg a trip somewhere nearby, a NT property or whatever and just say 'tomorrow we are going to NT*******?
If he looks at you as if you have two heads, then try to join a group which may go on trips; perhaps one of the group would come and pick you up?

I do commiserate about the painful feet though - have you seen a podiatrist?

Bluebelle there's nowhere to go on a scooter - no pavement -only one main A road that's dangerous and busy, and one wee quiet back road; 23 miles to the next village along there. I'd be on the road for a week LOL.
Waiting to see podiatry. Doc didnt give me any painkillers and I need some!
A taxi up here is at least £15 just to come out... I could probably manage to the bus stop - sheer bloody temper would carry me lol, and I can get a bus up to EdinB mawbroon, too much hassle to get to a station for the train. I used to walk out and just jump on the bus to EdinB but have lost confidence with these feet now.
Haven't got an RL friends apart from my daughter and DILs, used to go for coffee and cake with the daughter so yes I could do that again, ty.
It helps just to moan at somebody who listens, TY girls xxx

Why do you live so remotely? Could you sell up and move/rent closer to the nearest village? I am guessing you cannot drive. See your doctor/nurse again to maximise your mobility. Organise to see at least one of the family fortnightly - this will only be about every six weeks for them if they are busy. Hobbies, knitting, embroidery, card making, toys or clothes for grandchildren or charities, a picnic lunch at a nearby beauty spot with your husband need not cost much. Take folding chairs and your books, especially at this time of year. Have you no neighbours for miles? Extend the shopping trips to include a cinema visit or lunch out. Forget some important ingredients so you have to shop more often! Could you manage a weekend away somewhere with a view? Just a change of scene.

Edinburgh is one place I've been wanting to visit. Can I jump on the bus with you Fumanchu? Only thing is, it will take me about 12 hours to get to you?

I'll meet up with any of you who make it to Edinburgh. I can munch cake and slurp tea all day
I think I'd find it hard to go back to civilisation Feelingmyage- I have sheep and hawks and dark skies and peace here. The only blot on the landscape is the one I'm married to LOL! I'd give a kidney to get away for a weekend but somebody "likes my own bed" and has decided the cat would so traumatised if we left overnight that he couldn't live with the guilt. I know the cat sits there and wishes to hell we would go and give her some peace...
You've all helped, really have and have given me some ideas for my battle plan. Cos this summer, in this hoose, is going to be WAR.

I'm not certain you want a lot of change fumanchu as there seem to be obstacles to all suggestions.

If this is an on going problem with your husband then perhaps its time to make your own plans. Start researching short trips that will accommodate your problems, talk to friends they may enjoy an outing with you. It's no good feeling resentful with your husband all the time, make your own plans. Good luck.

Not being nosy Fumanchu but if your M.E. is so bad you may be entitled to some financial help which could help with transport. I would contact Citizens Advice. Its difficult with a longterm illness like M.E. because energy is very limited. You say you like where you live so I guess its a case of deciding which is more important to you - close company or peaceful surroundings. Husband is not going to change. Sometimes people get more into routine as they get older. You are going to have to tackle the problem yourself. Organisations like AgeUk/Concern may help with company, groups etc. When I was mostly housebound I tried to content myself with hobbies, which gave me the opportunity to try new things. and thinking nows the time to read all those books listen to cds whuch I never did whilst I was out and about. You M.E. may go away or ease at some stage. But if you are really so bored now please give yourself a push and do something. It may help both mentally and physically.

fumanchu have you considered surgery for your feet. I have had both mind done now and although the recovery period is dull as you cant do much at all for several weeks you will then be more mobile? How about asking your GP for a referral to a Podiatry surgeon? Then you can get a taxi and be off into the wide blue yonder.

My heart is with you about living in the country - we have mainly lived in the middle of nowhere. We are a bit nearer a town now - about 5 miles - but even that feels a bit "suburban" to me - we have buses here for goodness sake!!

But all the remote villages I have lived in have a very active social life with lots of organisations on the go, community transport, and a real sense of community, however scattered that is.

Is there nothing in your village that you could plug in to?

This village is only about 2 doz scattered houses, the school has 13 pupils from here and the farms around .
I'm no deliberately putting up obstacles, the obstacles arte the reason I'm like this lol, if I was able to get around them then I wouldn't be posting in here.. I know I have to do things for myself, I just wanted to talk to somebody. Sorry to whinge.

Why not learn to drive ? Plenty of people learn at an older age. You seem to blame your OH for your inability to get out, but if you learned to drive you could bypass him and do it yourself.

Sounds very similar to the village we were in. Do you have any friends locally? Is there a WI? Is there a community transport organisation? Is there a coach company in the next town who might do trips? Is there a village hall in the next village?

We were as isolated as you are and found lots of activities on the go. In fact I could have been out at something every day! And there were always lifts on offer.

It is easy to get stuck in a rut, especially when you are living with someone who is not exactly Mr Dynamic. But he needs to see that you are absolutely determined to expand your life with or without him.

You are not whinging fumanchu, you are expressing a very real problem for you! Even in a town its easy to feel isolated more so if you have a partner who is Mr Stuckinarut. I had a similar problem with my OH and basically had to pull myself out of it myself. I too suffer from pain which limits my mobility somewhat but explored the possibilities of community transport etc. and now he complains I am never there when he wants me to be!

Fumanchu can’t offer any advice, but your post about the cat being traumatised made me laugh.
Does your DH have agoraphobia do you think?

Ok so trains buses and taxis are out
Community transport?
Do your children have cars and could each take you on one trip a fortnight
No friends with cars ? who could take you somewhere, as much as I d love the countryside I couldn’t live so far from civilisation as you do You don’t want to move away so there doesn’t seem any alternatives you are 23 miles from the next town down an impossible road and living with a man you don’t seem too keen on So a bit stuck in other words
Aren’t there any car drivers amongst the 12 inhabidents who you could pay to give you a lift somewhere if not I think I m out of suggestions