I'm just not a 'small children' person

Well stand next to you and get mine kicked, too.
I'm not a 'small children' person either.
I don't know what the answer is, for you; probably what your husband suggests, for the sake of not causing upset or hurt.

That makes 3 of us (4 if you count my OH)! I enjoy my grandson so much more now he is in his teens.
I fully except some people do love to be with wee ones but, I get BORED!

Well they won’t always be small or be wanting to come to Grandads so just grit your teeth ? Time will solve the problem if you just hang on.

In the meantime I would go out, go off for a weekend to see friends or actually just potter about doing my own thing regardless. Is there room for a den? ( for you, not them!) Let Grandad do his thing and you do yours.

I think it's not unreasonable for a grandparent to indicate they aren't able or willing to provide childcare. It's a two-way street. GPs can't demand time with their GC and by the same token AC don't have the right to demand that their parents provide childcare.

I wonder if maybe you are still seeing the little ones so often because they are trying to ease into a new routine? A new parent in the household is a HUGE transition in and of itself, and to completely change a child's routine right at the same time may just be too much.

I think the two of you need to really talk about this.Yes, his son may well need some help,but not every weekend [does the son work at weekends?] It's unfair to say that you have to go away from the house, it's your home too!

I have just spent an hour in the company of a small child at a friends house, so boring , that is all we spoke about plenty long enough for me. My grandson is a teen and a pleasure to be with.

I've never been a fan of other people's children, husband would do anything to avoid being around little people!
But enter the next generation and we are putty in their hands, they are my flesh and blood though which I think makes all the difference, I can still take or leave other people's kids but Our granddaughter and great niece who we help out with a fair bit just fascinate us!
They are still little people at 2 and 10 months but they give us so much pleasure and I often say I don't remember ever being so enthralled by our own kids at this age!

It's not wrong to feel as you do, maybe you will feel more able to engage with them as they get older or maybe you won't, can I ask if you have your own children? I think it makes all the difference, seeing my son became a father has stirred something in me that I didn't know I had and I feel such pride in seeing him parent his little girl.

Having said this we do cherish our alone time together as a couple too and although we do what we can to help out its not at the expense of our relationship

I love my little 3 year old grandson, but having him for more than 5 hours at a time is very tiring, but I never say "no" when asked to have him.

We have just had dinner out after delivering the DGC home after a 'sleepover' and there was a Small Child on the next table who played up very loudly (Poor parents, said DH - Negative Parenting said I - but not to them).

As we had just had our own DGC (perfect and lovely children ) staying for two days this was just too much. Luckily the other family left before our meals arrived.

I think having them so often is too much - it's lovely to have a get-together and even have your step-DGC to stay when you agree when, but I think you need to set some ground rules - in as pleasant manner as possible.

Good luck.

If your husband could mind the GC more in the week when you are at work and less at the weekends, that might be the solution. What are his son and partner doing while your husband has them at weekends? If they are out socialising, that's unfair.

Hi...thanks for all your replies...so good to know it isn’t just me. To answer a few questions stepson does work occasional Saturdays and apparently his partner finds all 3 kids together too much on her own. BUT we still get one every other Sunday...I think DH likes to give them a break though I honestly don’t see why.

And yes for me it is too much. Also Jobey68 I do have a son myself who is 30 and showing no signs of settling down or having children (thank god) although I must admit I have thought i might feel differently if he did have a child.

So, for now, I guess I must grin and bear it!

Be thankful your OH is a man who CARES about his family.As someone else said these kids have had it rough ,now theres a new woman in their lives and they need a bit of continuity at GD's .Surely giving them the security they need for now isn't a lot to ask/ I'd be very annoyed if my OH didn't support our children and GC

Leaving aside the question of whether you do or don't like small children it is perfectly reasonable for you to expect to have some peace and quiet in your own home at the weekend as you are working during the week. And no it is not reasonable for your husband to expect you to go out to do this. I dearly love spending time with my little ones but would find it exhausting to have them around at weekends after a busy working week. Of course it is lovely that your husband wants to support his family but you also need his respect and support. Surely a middle way can be negotiated that accommodates everyone's needs.

Hats off to your husband for being a lovely caring granddad not always so many around
I totally understand some people don’t find small kids exciting or manageable, and they aren’t yours either but having said that life is totally about sacrifices and adaptions

This is hard as I can see it from both sides how about your husband taking the kids out and about one of the weekend days so you can have a relaxing day on your own and then have the other day together, it is going to need negotiation and movement from both of you

It's not actually all that often really. Every other weekend and sometimes during the week. Suck it up. You don't have to be around but you may well bitterly regret not having a better relationship with your step family in years to come.
As others have said, time will take care of this. Your OH sounds like a kind responsible person.

Entertaining small children can be boring and frustrating, not to mention if they’re in your house they can leave a trail of chaos. Who feeds/ entertains/ cleans up after them? I don’t think it’s unreasonble to expect a weekend free of them after a working week. Perhaps your OH could take them out for the day instead of being under your feet. Some careful negotiation needed here.

As others have said - hats off to the care giving grandfather. You married your husband knowing he had family - and no great surprise that grandchildren would come along. Your husband has adapted and embraced the opportunity to be a hands on grandfather. You however feel you have a right to opt out of his family the family you married into. His flesh and blood should feel like your flesh and blood too. Your resentment will not change until you consider your situation properly. Giving your husbands family a wide berth when they are around - don't you think that his young grandchildren do not have feelings too. They will not respond to you if you do not respond to them. A great shame and no wonder your husband has suggested you leave the house - that's to spare his grandchildren's feelings. They've already been rejected by a parent.

Perhaps the issue is that they are your Step grandchildren not your sons children. I think you would feel more of a bond if they were your sons children. I have my own grandchildren and step grandchildren and in my case, others might be different, I didn't feel the same bond and love when they were born, although I always make sure they are treated the same.

I’m afraid I have no sympathy for your plight.

All I see here are three adults, one of whom is a loving. Grandfather pulling together to establish a secure and loving environment for these children who have sadly already had a rough start in their lives.

I admire your DH saying if his son needs help, he will provide it. Your DH will need help and understanding from you, will you provide it?

I don't see why the weekend babysitting couldn't be cut down a bit.
Sons partner finds it hard with three children.
Presumably she also knew the score when she got with him, so its not all down to the OP to compromise.

Could you maybe take hem out to a local park? Back home for a bite to eat, then you have done your bit for the day.

Your husband is a loving, supportive father and grandfather. what's not to admire? His commitment to his family will extend to the love and commitment he has to you. The fact there is a 'new mother ' on the scene doesn't diminish the need these young children have for stability and loving adults.
Grandparents are even more important where children experience the break down of their parents relationship.

I accept looking after small children is exhausting, I know, because we do it. It sounds as though it's your relationship that needs talking through so you can reach some kind of consensus about how much free time you can spend together whilst not denying your husband the opportunity to do something he seems to love.

Yes I think I can understand your situation - at the end of the day they're not your grandchildren so the bond isn't really there which probably makes it harder and to have your weekends disrupted every week after you've been working is a bit much. Would you be able to compromise and have a firm commitment to have them the Saturdays their father is working but Sunday is your day of rest. Maybe arrange something for just the two of you to do together. Your husband sounds a lovely man who wants to do the best for his family but giving his son Sunday off from his responsibilities as a father isn't really helping them to bond as a new family unit either.

Looking after young kids is exhausting for anyone of any age, so I say ‘hats off’ to your husband for caring enough about his son and new partner to help and support them. It’s probably very difficult and tiring for him especially as he’s doing it without any practical or emotional support from you. Even though you find young kids boring can you not find it in your heart to be forbearing with good grace for the sake of your own relationship? There must be something, some activity, that you enjoy and could introduce to and share with your step-grandkids, and so get to know them as individuals and grow a relationship with them.

If your stepson’s new relationship is to have a hope of surviving the couple and their blended family will need practical support from time to time over the years. If you want to be a full part of this family, and nurture your own marital relationship, you must play a full part in this, within the limitations of your work life. After all, the childcare is not every day and there is still plenty of opportunity for you and your husband to live your own lives.