I'm just not a 'small children' person

Your husband is a very caring father and grandfather Springychicken he also needs to be a caring husband. I understand completely your feelings about small children, I felt much the same. As others have said the children will grow up quickly and not need so much care.
In the meantime why not discuss with your family having one weekend per month child free so you and your husband can plan some time together.

I really sympathise with your position, after a tiring working week, a quiet weekend would be perfect and no chance of that with small children around. But like everything else with little ones this situation wont last. Possibly the new Mum needs time to adjust to constantly having three kids around, perhaps your DH genuinely loves having the kids, maybe he had loving grandparents who made his own childhood special. What about trying to negotiate a childfree weekend once a month? That seems reasonable to me, particularly if your DH also has the GC in the week when you are at work. Its not perfect, but it might tide you over until they grow up a bit.

I've never been good at the little ones either -better when they are older and you can converse and do things with them. No need to feel guilty.

sunnysusie the OP says that it's every other weekend they seem to have one of the children so they already potentially have at least 2 weekends a month off. Also she's at work during the week so doesn't have to see them.
If she doesn't make slightly more of an effort that nice man of hers might think the worse of her. A risk?

If the OP were retired I’d say she was moaning with no goid reason but she works full time! It is totally unreasonable to expect her to be running after little ones all weekend as well.
The SAHM mum, who is nobly looking after the son’s 2 children most of the time, has made her needs clear. The OP should make her needs clear too and not have to put up with being kicked out of the house.

Jane10 why do the women have to be the ones to bend their lives out of shape in case they “lose that nice man”?

Add me to the list of non lovers of small children...I much prefer them when they act/speak sensibly.

bytheway, wouldn’t it seem very odd to the GCs if their GF reduced contact with them because they now have a stepmother? And the stepmother having taken on two children on top of new husband and her own child might need a break as she eases into the rôle of mother of three.

I always feel surprised that some people don’t find little children quite fascinating from the day that they are born. I love having babies and toddlers around though when I was 70 and it was a 10 hour day 3 days a week I was happy to have just one at a time. They change from day to day. If I didn’t see them for a week the change was huge. The development of language is fascinating as are their similarities and differences from parents and siblings and the development of skills and character; well I could write a book about each one if I wasn’t busy with before and after school responsibilities.

My youngest GC is about to start proper school so no more babies and on to the next stage.

Of course I know that people love their dogs like children/best friends and I just wouldn’t want one in my house so it’s horses for courses.

A friend and I were talking about this exact thing on Saturday afternoon.
Ankle biters as she calls them, we both love our own children and in my case DGC to bits, but other peoples leave us a bit cold.
We discuss it together and DD feels the same but not in public so nice to be able to admit it here^.

I like small children, but have a few friends who recently have become Grandparents, they are SO boring, the friends I mean, the only topic of conversation is Grandchildren, photos on their phone being shown constantly, conversations centred around these babies.I love babies and have had my own Grandchildren, but this really is too much. Where did normal conversations go to?

I find my DGC tiring so I’m with you on that OP!
I think, as others have said, these children have had a lot to cope with and their DGD has given stability when they were/are going through changing times. It isn’t every weekend and I hope your DH will see your side of things if you try to spend at least some time with him and the DGC, and then organise lovely together time when they aren’t there. Please talk to him, he does sound a very genuine man.
Good luck.

Dont let this situation go on any longer otherwise there will be fallings out and nobody will be happy, and probably you wont see the grandchildren. If the new love is a stay at home mum then surely the two of them can sort something out.

sarahcyn if it was a man complaining about the step grandchildren I'd say exactly the same thing!!

I think that arranging a whole day to yourself & dh at the week-end may be the way to go remember you are working full-time during the week and deserve time with your dh.Yes he is being a fully supportive grandparent but he needs to be a fully supportive husband as well.
I love having my dgc's to visit and will care for them as and when but I also enjoy my husbands company child free.

Bytheway I sympathise with how you feel. Small children are very wearying, especially when you finish your working week and are looking forward to a relaxing weekend! I admire your husband's kindness and stamina in looking after them so frequently, but I think you need to negotiate fewer weekend visits - perhaps just once a month. Your husband could still have them as often as he wishes while you are at work. Your S & DIL are a lot younger than you and should be able to cope with 3 small children at the weekends.

When my own children were small I often had half the neighbour's children in our house after nursery/school and at weekends. But I was a lot younger then, and the noise, mess, arguments & constant activity didn't bother me. But now I find it exhausting. I love my GC and AC dearly but I do not want to babysit, childmind or care for them for any length of time. Been there, done that, it's their turn now. I'm quite happy to enjoy their visits/short stays and then breathe a sigh of relief as life returns to normal when they leave. They don't love us any less than their other GPs whom they see more frequently.

I like small children, but I can see things from OP's point of view. Frankly having a grandchild every other weekend does seem a little much, especially when you are still working full time, bytheway.

Is your house big enough for you to have one room to yourself for at least a few hours while the grandchild is there at the weekend? You could always call it resting, or doing some work you have brought home as far as the little one is concerned. It might help, if you don't feel forced to be continually interrupted doing whatever you feel like in the only time off you have.

But why is it bytheway who is being constantly interrupted and having to respond to the children? Where is Grandad?

I love cheese...grandad is usually too knackered to carry on giving the little one his full attention and as this child is ‘full on’ he (child) will then turn to me and demand attention, and he is one of those who will go on and on and on until he gets what he wants.... teeth gritted....

It's sad that the natural parents of these children are not around to fulfil their roles - and it's hard on the new step-mum who finds herself coping with three little ones who may have some problems.

However, leaving it to you bytheway to spend your weekends coping with little children after a full working week is expecting rather a lot imo.
Others have said it will be good to build up a relationship with the children - well, you can build up a better relationship if you see them perhaps with the parent and you can have a couple or three hours of being 'happy granny' then send them home again with a .

I sometimes think that young parents have too high expectations of our generation these days.

I should amend that to "some young parents" - not all.

I'm with you op find small children tiring and worked with them a long time ago. I have gc and although nice to see them it's great when they go home. Like another thread a few days ago I'm indifferent to my gc and enjoy my free time (still working) doing things without interruption or having to think about anyone else. I've spent 40 years caring for others, running a home and working so think I'm entitled to some me time. Selfish possibly but gc are nice to spend time with in small amounts and if it dosn't interfere with my plans so standing in line to get my arse kicked as well

I am at a loss as to why you married a man with GC if you dislike them, just live a solitary life and then you would not have to have any input into childcare.
How cold do you have to be not to love babies ?

bytheway
As far as I've read (that's 3/4 of the replies) no-one has suggested that the parents of your stepson's new partner might take a turn looking after the children on the same basis.
Why?
I'd be wary of getting too involved as your stepson and new partner might not last the distance, after all, she moved in pretty quickly and might move out if she feels weighed down with 3 little ones.
What if they have a child together, accidently or not? Your OH may be the kindest man but if asked to do more, are you prepared for that?
Whatever the outcome, you have a treasure in your DH and I sincerely hope compromise can be achieved without you feeling niggled.

That's a bit harsh harrigran!

We don't know how the long the OP has been married; she may adore her DH and married him long before the DGC arrived on the scene. When they did arrive they didn't live that near and presumably had two parents to care for them.

Then somehow the mother disappears from the scene and OP's step-DS moves nearer, meets a woman with a child and hey presto, there are three little children in the equation.

Not everyone loves babies especially if they are not your own or your DGC. You are working full-time (she doesn't say how old she is) and you are expected to take on child-care!

Children can be demanding and tiring, however much you love them.

ps your DH does sound like a lovely man bytheway so you need to come to a compromise.