No sister for 10 years

You want to make contact with your sister as you still care about her. Ignore those awful comments about you doing so for your own benefit.

Who told you she was ill?

I like the idea of sending flowers or a plant with a note saying sorry she is ill and offering help but maybe flowers are not you and a letter seems more natural. Problem with a letter too many words that can be misinterpreted. Read and re read, discussed and ignored.

I also think her family will appreciate and be comforted by your trying to make contact.

After all she is your sister and you do have shared memories that others even her husband and children don't have.

For the people who had such awful sisters, I can understand your position. Never spoke to you, today people would say she needs counselling, then a clip round the ear.

crazyH I've had a good life and still do. I have three wonderful sons and one son has bestowed four grandchildren upon me.

I was told by a friend what she said when she heard I had MS.
Her reaction?
She was annoyed that I'd spoiled the good health record of our family and her only comment "what about me will I be at risk too then".
I was past caring and started having less to do with people who insisted on telling me stuff about her or insisting "well you are sisters after all".

I remember being very sad about it when I was little. I assumed I'd done something wrong.
I played the Connie Francis 45 record "Little sister don't you cry" over and over when I was nine or ten and she was leaving home.

She was the one who lost out. She wanted a child but had none. She had no husband or partner. A brief marriage when she was eighteen, he adored her but in the end couldn't stomach her either.

ajanela A clip round the ear! You made me smile at that.
Sorely lacking in life nowadays.

Clip round the ear sorely lacking. Not me smiling.

You know gmelon, life balances itself. I was the youngest of 9, the oldest being about 30 years older than me. So, I was much loved and really spoilt. BUT my adult life hasn't been the best......married to a serial philanderer (now divorced). Three lovely children, 6 adorable grandchildren. Sadly, my daughter is divorced. One son married to a sweet, sweet girl, the other married to a girl who is not that sweet.
But that's life. Just like you, I'm doing ok. Hope your MS is not impinging on your quality of life. I knew someone who had MS, but lead a very normal life.
All good wishes gmelon

I am in a very similar place to the OP, my sister and I had a big fall out about 2years ago and had not spoken since. I have to admit, my life has felt a lot less stressful since not having her directly in my life. I have kept up to date on how she has been via rest of family, including my daughters. Recently she got told she needed a second mastectomy, and although I was very selfishly glad I wasn’t going to be her ‘go to’ for support, I was still upset about it and knew she would be very scared. After talking to her son and one of our nieces I wrote her a very short email, saying that I had heard what had happened and that I was thinking of her. I didn’t expect an answer, but after about a week or so she sent me a long message about what had been happening. She did get a big scare after her operation and ended up in Intensive Care. We now have a tentative friendship again and contact each other now and again. Not sure how it will pan out, will just have to see. But am glad we are on speaking terms again, just don’t want to get too involved in her life like I was before.

crazyH
Thank you very much. You are very right in all youve said.
Charmed lives are not for us all.

My MS is a nuisance. When it was being diagnosed I was in the intensive stroke ward unable to move.
There was mention of motor nuerone disease.
For this reason i was relieved it was "just" MS. I still have that mindset.
You're ex husband sounds awful.
My son's are married.
Two very happily, one seperated and wife moved two hundred miles away. Oldest one resident in Hong Kong.
Life'sfull of surprises !

Silverlady if you want to send a letter or flowers then just do it but don't anticipate any contact as it may well not happen but you might be pleasantly surprised. At least you will have tried.