Mixed feelings about becoming a grandmother; is this normal?

I am a grandmother to 2 and soon to a 3rd, a little boy, I already have 1 of each.
I can understand how overwhelming all this can feel, but I assure you that when your grandchild arrives, the love you will feel will flow so strongly and will feel very different to the love you were able to give to your daughter, without this sending as a reproach, we've all felt it. The way my grandchildren greet me is so rewarding.
Perhaps you find it difficult to relive how you felt when you were pregnant. Your daughter will want your support and advice, however far she lives and every time you visit, you will appreciate each other. Take the time now to enjoy your daughter's pregnancy and look forward to getting things ready for the arrival. You'll be a fantastic grandma!

Oh...I shouldn't worry, or at least, try not to impose your own feelings on anyone around you. Your daughter is the one having the child and all you need to do is enjoy the baby when (s)he arrives. I feel that it wouldn't be a great idea for you to be around her at or for a week or two at least, after the birth.
Your anxiety may be felt by your daughter and she doesn't need that, at a time when she and her husband are bonding with their baby and trying to establish some sort of routine.
Try not to expect that your daughter will have the problems that you face(d), the last thing she needs is a jittery mother.
I hope all goes well and you sit back, relax and help only when asked.

I remember feeling rather underwhelmed when my first grandson was born, despite having prayed my daughter would be able to conceive as she also had PCOS. I didn't feel ready to be a grandmother and I'd never really enjoyed my own children until they were a few months old. Everyone expected me to want to cuddle him all the time and I felt scared in case I dropped him or did something now considered wrong.
Although they lived over an hour's drive away they came to visit almost every weekend and it wasn't long before I regained confidence in my baby care skills, relaxed and enjoyed him. With subsequent grandchildren I couldn't wait to cuddle them!
It isn't that I love him any less than the others. He is now 9yrs old, we are best buddies and I love him to bits. It just took me a while to slip into the role.
Newgran, your feelings seem quite normal to me. Just give it time!

I'm not telling my family how I feel as I'm not proud of it. I'm not worried about how I'l be when the child is born, as I expect that will be fine; it's how I feel now that seems odd to me. Thanks, Gabriella, you have actually made me feel worse! My problems were in pregnancy; once the babies were born, things went well.

Lots of good thoughts already expressed by Grans. Your anxiety and concern about your daughter's wellbeing may be linked to the memories of your experiences with your own mother and a difficult pregnancy as you suggested. I am guessing that perhaps your mother was not a great role model as a grandmother? New experiences often evoke long buried old memories and anxieties.

Don't worry about not being a "little baby" person. Not everyone loves the baby stage. I know several people who didn't really like the baby stage at all but still made a great job of it and then were terrific with older children as mothers and grandmothers.

Another aspect of becoming a grandparent, especially for the first time, is moving up the generational train. This can be quite confronting particularly if your own parents are deceased. Suddenly you are in the front carriage and thoughts of our own mortality can be a source of anxiety and apprehension.

Newgran you sound like a very thoughtful person who is anxious to do the right thing in supporting your daughter and welcoming your new little one. Trying to establish new family patterns can be a bit like trying to read a map in a foreign language. You know the general direction you want to travel in but are not so sure about the details. Holding your first grandchild in your arms is a wonderful experience and reinforces the belief in the continuity of life itself. You will be fine. ?

Just be yourself, it will all fall into place.

Monica didnt actually say you can love them too much. She said some can be devoted - too much. Which is true.

I do so recognise myself 8 years ago in your post. I was so depressed about my daughter's pregnancy. Everyone at work was congratulating me but I had to pretend to be delighted. I had had still born twins when she was 3 and I was dreading her having any problems. The baby was completely secondary. The day my daughter went into labour I had the most appalling crying fit and even had huge nose bleed. Everything was perfect. My second daughter has since had 2 children and I adore them all. Please, please give yourself some time. The new person has to get used to you too. Please, please be kind to yourself. You are human. All will be well. You have wonderful times ahead of you. Getting to know your daughter as a mother and getting to know your grandchild will be a really valued experience. Hugs to you.

Here here Brismum and Lilypops.
Or is it "Hear hear"??

Newgran, I am not a baby person either but I adore my 4 grandchildren. It’s a different type of relationship.

I didn't say anything to my family either, newgran, although I did discuss it with a close friend. I think my daughter picked up on it a bit as I fussed more over her than the baby. I busied myself getting meals and helping with housework when we visited them (she had a C-section). Once she was stronger herself she would ask me to take him for a bit while she did something else and it was then I really bonded with my grandson.

We have mixed feelings in this regard . I found that I fell totally in love with my first grandchild and with the next two.
I am very involved and supportive -this is the role Ive taken on because I personally didnt have Grandparents and always wished I had 'd had some .

Having just spent a full-on weekend babysitting, which is unusual for me, I can say I am still getting used to the changed relationship with DD. She is a good mum and I am proud of her but I am walking a fine line. I never know quite what my role should be.
This time it went well but at other times I feel her stress but somehow whatever I say or do is wrong.
The babies are wonderful and seem to like me but I am quite an old GM so maybe she resents that
I think she has an ideal GP and I don't quite fit the bill. I also didn't know my own GPS.
Good luck with your new role. I hope the birth goes well.