Parallel to “Mean daughter in law”

I honestly don’t think anyone deserves respect just because of their age - why on Earth do they?

I have the best of relationships with my children their spouse and DGC. We all speak to and treat each other with courtesy and respect. Most of DGC's friends come from similar families.

Your experience has been unfortunate GrandmaFaye, but it is not universal.

Have to agree with the other responses, no one in our family is disrespectful, not matter what their age. I guess it depends on the circumstances, rather than age.

I must admit to not being a big fan of the ‘respect your elders’ mindset. Every person deserves to be treated with the same level of respect regardless their age.

Your situation is very sad, and whilst you certainly aren’t alone, I don’t believe that it is true of the majority of families. At least not the ones that I know.

All of my DDs and their spouses are respectful to everyone, and particularly to their parents and grandparents. They are quick to come down on anyone who talks down to the older generation. I treasure them all, and they know this.

We all respect each other I have no one even in my wider circle of friends that has these kind of problems and no I don’t see our children s generation as being any more disrespectful than any other generation
I m sorry you have had this experience but it isn’t necessary common to all

Blimey Monica, maybe you don't intend it, but you sound a bit smug!

Grandma Faye, what's the problem or problems?
Is it how the person speaks or their actions?
60 isn't that old really. We may not like it, but we have to move along.

Thank you got your responses .

There are a lot of perfect families here.
Ofcourse GrandmaFaye, some of the youngsters in my family are disrespectful, one of my d.i.l is one of them. My older son is sometimes very patronising when he talks to me. I think it's just the youth of today. They like to speak their mind. We were brought up in the generation of 'children should be seen and not heard'.....not anymore.

Isn't there a happy medium?

CrazyH, I think you are right !
Thank you

Is it respect or love?

My daughters wouldn't be disrespectful not because we're a perfect family but because they love me.

We communicate - no one rules anyone else.

I'm not sure I would say being patronising is being disrespectful either - rude - yes.

I think you're right oldbatty where did the happy medium go?

The happy medium has gone holiday with her Ouija board N&G

I do not think it is a question of perfect families, it is just a question of treating family members in the same way you would treat anyone else in your life; work colleagues, shop assistants, friends.

We also do not watch soaps. If I page through one on the way to something else, everybody always seems to being shouting at other people, especially family members.

I work with children, if one is rude to me I always tell them that I show them respect, I expect respect back, even if they don't like me. I also expect them to treat each other with respect. I never say the 'I'm a teacher so you should show me respect' line because I don't think that they should be taught that they MUST respect people who are older or in authority. Obviously when first meeting someone they should, but if that person doesn't show them respect then why should they? Respect should be mutual.

I don't like the 'respect your elders' thing. I know quite a few people born in the 50s/60s who were either physically or sexually abused but were too scared to speak out because they had to 'respect their elders' and were afraid they wouldn't be believed as they were just a child.

I also know quite a few older people who are downright rude towards younger (especially teenage) people are expect respect back. My own nan in particular thinks she can say/do as she likes and we should just accept it, including telling me to quit uni and work in a shop as that's all I'd be good for. When she's challenged on it she says 'i've earned the right to be able to say what she likes at my age' and is completely serious. She bullies my poor cousin who's too scared to stand up to her as my nans so nasty to her.

Some people just don't deserve others respect, no matter their age.

I don’t disrespect anyone and I expect the same treatment

newmom101 I totally agree with you. Respect/courtesy/Good manners have nothing to do with age. I get very exasperated by older people who moan about 'the young of today" and then push in front of a bus queue.

Everyone starts off with my respect. Whether they retain it or lose it is up to them.

I do find as a generalisation that the people who speak a lot of "respect" and/or not getting the respect they feel is due to them are also the kinds of people who aren't respectful to others and behave in ways that make people lose respect for them.

I just think it is important to treat people as individuals rather than painting a whole generation with the same brush. There are good and bad in every generation.

You don't get respect from a younger generation by demanding it, you get it by being a person who can be respected.

Elegran that is true in some cases but not all of them

oldbatty, no not smug, just stating as it is in our family and pointing out that there are plenty more families like this, so nothing remarkable about it and most responders to this thread are saying much the same thing.

You don't get respect from a younger generation by demanding it, you get it by being a person who can be respected.

And also by respecting them and their views