Is hubby cheating

Buy some Viagra if your sex life has fizzled out. It could be that his " drive " has slowed down and he's busying himself with outdoor pursuits to help him cope. It doesn't really sound to me that he's wandering. Give him some encouragement it's a two-way thing.

I feel a bit sorry for him (and you too, of course). He does things to help around the house, can't keep an erection, so watches some porn, but you think he's up to something with someone?

The hair could have come from you, surely? Has he given you any real reason to suspect him of having an affair? If he has erectile dysfunction, would he be able to have an affair?

I wonder if the porn issue and the lack of sex are contributing to you feeling insecure? TALK to him. Invite him into your bed, get close, without sex, and see how things are. If you both think you'd like to have an active sex life, get some Viagra (you can buy it now, I believe)

If he walks in the countryside there could be horses that he pets (pats?)
Or Black sheep?
Perhaps he's a gay convert! Nothing wrong with that!

You would not confuse horse hair with human hair and black sheep are all wooly, men are not as observant when to comes to cleaning up, if he is bringing another woman home he is a fool, you will find other evidence.
Viagra, I can confirm that it works, as long as your partner is enthusiastic, if she is not keen, maybe a bad back or some other problem, it just increases frustration to both. So if he has found a really hot new lady no need for blue pills.

How's it going with the sheep, the viagra and the porn?

Oldbatty. Vix came on this site looking for help and support. Could you please try and be a little bit more sensitive ?

I think your instincts could be right and he is having an affair.
I know of another situation where someone, given the opportunity of an empty house during the day, brought a married colleague back for sex. I can't remember how it was discovered but it almost broke the marriage and possibly both marriages..

How's it going with the sheep, the viagra and the porn?
Oldbatty; That's David's specialty;
My analysis of the evidence confirms my earlier diagnosis that the gentleman in question must be gay; with no further sightings he must have returned to the closet!

Oh dear; he has retired very early so is probably bored. You're out at work so that will contribute even more to his boredom. He's presumably only in his fifties but has chosen to sleep in the spare room.
It sounds as if you have lost communication between you apart from you telling him off about the porn and checking on his computer - it doesn't sound like a good relationship at all.

Can you start to pay him more attention, go out together, have some fun? Perhaps you may be able to find what you seem to have lost.

I wouldn't start accusing him of bringing another woman into your home without further proof, but, if he has, it could mean that this is the end of your rather sterile marriage and you may be better off separating.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh and hope that you can, in fact, retrieve something from your relationship.

Oh dear; he has retired very early so is probably bored
Or shagged out! Assume he's obviously gay; nothing wrong with that so please leave him alone. Q.E.D

No, there is nothing wrong with that Rufus, but if he is gay, then he and Vix need to have a discussion about it and decide on what they both want for the future.

I cant see how some of the replies are actually valid.

IMV the op's original post is just stating facts as she finds them and is asking for information as to how to proceed.

Speaking of sheep or other unimaginative comments don't encourage intelligent conversations.

Why would someone bother to answer in this fashion, other than to find some humour at another's expense? Which is childish at best.

With regard to ED. My understanding is that this doesn't necessarily mean no orgasm. There would be other ways and means of successful intimacy for both partners if wanted.
Also, for bad sleepers. Go to bed together, read, chat, whatever, then just before going to sleep one slips next door to the other bedroom for sleep time.

This is assuming that intimacy of some sort is wanted. Perhaps if op would like this then maybe dh needs encouragement in this regard.

to find some humour at another's expense?
Namsnanny; Good Afternoon! As you know, it's known as"Schadenfreude" and I totally agree with your comment. Maw pulled me up over this recently (can't remember the topic; probably about my comments on crook British weather )which may have appeared insensitive, but meant to be humorous. Still feeling suitably chastised I'm now pleased to see this thread has apparently been killed off. May it R.I.P.

Rufus2....Just wondered what had happened on this thread since I last posted, as I was worried I would have put off any would be posters from coming forward with good advice!
No one likes to be belittled - and I think some of the replies did exactly that.
Nor do I like to think I shamed/belittled you by appearing matronly(?) (echoes of Carry On there ).

I just felt/feel that her post was important to her and its not necessary to joke inappropriately is it?

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one atthemo!!

Hubby and I sleep apart due to health problems. But we always retire together to have a cuddle and a read or whatever in one of our beds (mine usually as I like a hot bed and he likes a cold fresh one so is happy to hop out to his own cold one afterwards bless him). Just a suggestion.

I hate porn but hubby watches occasionally. I tolerate because I know he just doesn't see it the same way I do and there's too much I love about him to let it come between us. But only you two can decide what is ok or not with you both.

As for the black hairs, personally I would just mention it in conversation and act puzzled (which I would be anyway) as to how they got there. His reaction should tell you what you need to know.

Have you talked about the ED and the sex life situation and about how you both feel about it? Hubby and I still have sex, but not often, as we both have physical problems which make it difficult. And when we do, it's not the same as it used to be, old bodies just let us down. But talking about it and sharing how we feel gives us a closeness that makes up for what we lost.

I hope you can find a way to talk to him about all this that works for you both, and I hope your worst fears are unfounded. Sometimes the actual explanations are really daft and not what we think at all.

I wouldn’t worry too much hdh I think original poster has loooooong gone She obviously set the story up and left us all to solve ‘her problem’ ?

Ah, didn't realise, still finding my way around, but thank you for pointing it out so nicely Bluebelle.

men and sheep that is a whole different saga re viagra it will only work if there is sufficent stimulation perhaps porn or at least some foreplay it doesnt automatically work as soon as you take them.

PLease enlighten me as to men and sheep.

Think that post may be deleted oldbatty ??

Very good post Lynne59 sensible advice.

You could be right Bluebelle
However this thread could be interesting reading for any older woman and husband/partner who have ‘lost that lovin’ feeling’ so maybe worth keeping it going.

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one
Namsnanny; Love to! Although we did start a "Rude not Crude" thread a while back along with a "Jokes", but although there were some appropriate responses, it soon fizzled out. I even broached the subject with GNHQ, but nothing came of it.
What do you have in mind?
You certainly haven't "shamed/belittled" me in any way whatsoever, nor appeared "matronly"; there are some around who've tried that, but I find it all so amusing, as Frankie sang! After all, I'm a senile OAP, OBE and fireproof!

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one.
Namsnanny: It's over a week now since you pleaded, but no takers! Still no idea what your tastes are, eclectic or otherwise, but another thread has just started up, albeit with some lame jokes (at the Christmas cracker level): but each to their own! Thank goodness this thread has now died a death!