How good is taken for granted?

I'd guess that the "cup of coffee" is the clue to what your son was feeling. The "cup of coffee" I'd think mean that he was telling you that he was aware he sounded emotionally flat. There are a lot of reasons a person feels emotionally flat. You being his mother it's probable he presumes it's okay to speak as he feels within reason.

That birthday present sounds absolutely spot on by the way!

Thank you sodapop for saying it! So much hesitation, excuses, self doubting, apologies and bending over backwards on this thread ....anything except to push back on this bratty, rude, disrespectful behavior.

Your son shouldn't speak to you in this way.

Does he often do so? If it's a "one-off" and he's usually nice and good to you, I'd let it go perhaps.

If he regularly speaks to you like this, I'd definitely speak to him about it.

Very interesting that only half dozen grans thought the AC were rude and they would not put up with it from anyone else. The attitude of being pathetically grateful to AC for any contact is why they treat them this way. Why?

I'm sure adult children don't speak like this to work colleagues, bosses, their child's teachers or anyone else like this, even if they are tired, hungover, hungry, or whatever else.
Its strange that they can manage to be civil when it suits.

That would have upset me a lot Rocknroll5me. You went to a lot of trouble to make his birthday special and must have felt deflated at his response. Your post and other responses have made me realise what kind and loving sons we have.

Well, I do hope rocknroll isn’t going to take on board all the suggestions of taking umbrage, not sending a present next year, etc etc.
How to make a mountain out of a molehill and alienate someone at the same time!
So a DS is grumpy on the phone.
What’s new, or even remarkable, about that?

No your son is rude and ungrateful
A poor example at 44
Sadly we are looking for excuses. A child that shows tolerance love and care towards ones parents is a child indeed.
So rude to say he needed to get a cup of tea
And his poor mother couldnt even say she had sprained herself.
Its not you its him .

And yes maybe she shouldnt send a present next year ..All this bending over backwards why especially when the child is wrong there is no reason for this behaviour.

I do think that I am coming to a better undestanding to why my friend has changed her will ..yrs they will be shocked her grand children will do well athough shes put an age cap to when they can get it .charities have been included and only enough have been left to her children for them to have a small hoilday with the partners.
A very selfish uncaring bunch they are ..

How lucky they are to have mothers at such an advanced age. I lost mine as a child. Would happily go and shake all of them to be thankful for what they have. And for some us who missed out on that bond.

After midday best on a Sunday Morning! when I was young with a hectic social life frequently didn't surface til lunchtime.