Husband and my lurgy

Reported monica000 at 15.32

Having said that my OH is rarely ill and if he is he never makes a fuss and just wants to be left alone!!!!

Yes, what about people like us who live on our own? No one to bring us a cup of tea ?

Mine would be / is the same. 'Dying' when he has a cold but mine are different. Once my mother was confined to bed with a bad chest and when she dragged herself out - feeling dire - was met with my father saying ' are you going to do a washing load today?' when she was fit again we could laugh about it!

I would get a flask of coffee and go back to bed. If he can't see you are ill and need caring for he is an idiot. Make a list of what needs to be done in house and give it to him to do. Shop on line if need be. He can surely mange to go to fish and chip shop or order takeaway if he can't cook. Grown men acting pathetic are a real turn off. Don't be bullied into getting up before you feel better.

Mine is very kind, if a bit bossy.
Better than I was when he was ill.
As for my ex - "you should look after yourself better".

Thank you for all the messages. I see I am not alone. Actually feeling a bit better and am up and dressed. Miraculously he has perked up as well. Like many have advised I will have a chat with him when I feel up to it. It reminds me of when I was in hospital with pneumonia and very ill he used to turn up at visiting time and spend the whole time moaning about what a lot he had to do because I was ill.

He is very good in many ways it is just the silent sulking I find so trying.

Oh dear Framilode as others have suggested get yourself a flask of tea or coffee and go back to bed until you feel properly better.
A list of jobs for his lordship wouldn't go amiss either. If he grumbles tell him to effing well grow up. Remind him that you will look after him to the same low standard from now on if he is ill.
If I was unreasonable I'd even suggest laying it on a bit thick by pretending you're worse than you really are just to annoy him even more.

My goodness, are there really grans out there still living with such pathetic, selfish men? Why?
A marriage is a 50:50 partnership, not a servant and master relationship.
Time some of you wised up and kicked your pathetic husband out.

I grew up with a father who would sulk and not speak to you for weeks if you did something that was wrong in his eyes. My mother was afraid to ever contradict him about anything

Thank goodness I married a lovely man - we have now been together for 58 y??ears

Dragonfly64

Framilode Do whatever you need for you. Unless your husband isn't well. But if he's just fed up shame on him. just ignore him.

Oh dear I must be extremely lucky.ive been in bed/sofa for 3 weeks now.my husband has made all my meals / drinks/ changed my bed.shopping cleaning.the lot.i just can't imagine being with anybody that isn't like that now after 40 years.i think you need to have a little talk with o h and ask him to step up.

I think some men are so used to being looked after and waited on they find it irritating when the tables are turned and they need to be the one giving out the TLC do your AC notice how uncaring he is

As someone who suffers from a long term illness which can often have me spending a day in bed sleeping, my problem can be the opposite. My hubby will constantly pop into the bedroom asking if I am ok, disturbing my sleep. He never offers me a drink in bed, but will ask me if I want to get up for a drink/something to eat. I have to ask him to ‘just leave me to sleep until x time’. I know he means well, but if I don’t get the sleep I need, I end up feeling ill for longer.

The other thing that does annoy me is that he kind of thinks, if I am having a day in bed, then that means he doesn’t need to do anything in the house either, which can result in me having to overdo it when I get up, resulting in another day in bed! Grrrrrrrr!

When you feel better kick him in the b******s.

I'm afraid this is what can happen if women allow themselves to become servants rather than equal partners in a relationship. Why then be surprised about behaviour which may been tolrated for maybe decades!

I am glad I live alone. My second ex husband would never make me a cuppa, not even if I was dying lol.

I can nurse myself, just about when really unwell. I don’t have to get up to other people’s mess when I am better either.

Sulking is emotional abuse yes abuse. read him the riot act. threaten to kick him out or kick him in the b####.I would not be treated like that.good luck.

Magicwriter how true. They see it as a great excuse to do nothing!

Exactly crazyH. I have now been on my own for 10 years and last year had a major operation.My daughter did some shopping for me for couple of weeks once home but then up to me. No-one to carry heavy shopping or help at home. Not supposed to lift or do vacuuming etc. but no choice. Be thankful you all do still have your DHs even if they are less than useless at times.My late DH was quite considerate in spite of his own problems and would make me a drink if not welll and could cook enough to look after himself and the children ,if necessary.

I know what you mean.
When dh is unwell he lies in bed all day. I take him drinks ask if he wants anything to eat etc.
If I am unwell and in bed he pretty much ignores, me until around 4pm, when he brings me a cuppa......and asks what’s for dinner! Still expects me to get up and cook for him!

I cannot believe how some of you ladies put up with this kind of behaviour. I moan because my DH fusses over me too much and will not let me do a thing. He cooks, cleans, washes and shops without being asked and we've been married 38 years! I won't be moaning again that's for sure. I, of course, reciprocate when he is unwell. Glad you are now feeling a bit better Framilode

I agree Cupcake1. We shouldn't moan. My husband isn't perfect but neither am I. But we do have a fairly equal division of labour. We are both in bed ill regularly and look after each other very well. That's how it should be. Why would you not care for someone you live..

someone you love not live

annepl