It's a very difficult situation. You could get in a gardener, a proper gardener, to do things round the garden [there's nothing wrong with letting someone know the correct way to prune things, and suchlike things it's not wanting things done your way, it's wanting things doing right so they do the job they were bought for - to flower and look pretty.|
You could shop online or ask a friend or relative to help and buy in so much and all different unscented cleaning products, so that he has no excuse to buy any more and accidentally spill the smelly ones, and fill them up with something unscented or hide them . You could watch TV on a laptop with headphones, maybe even go into a different room and see if he tries to spoil your enjoyment that way. You could hide his tools in the compost heap [just joking], but you could hide his tape measure, or even better, report him to environmental health
You are in a difficult situation and while my suggestions are a bit tongue in cheek,[apart from the gardener] if you did try them you could see what he did in response. If for instance, he trailed after you with your laptop and tried to loudly talk about irrelevant things, maybe switched the router off even though he'd started doing something in the other room, or he'd never switched the router off before, then you'd know he was actually doing those things deliberately to upset you. As for breaking favourite things, am not sure what to suggest, but my abusive ex-husband used to do that, he'd deliberately damage things that he knew I liked or which meant a lot to me. Yes, some of the other things might 'just' be thoughtless, but how old is he, 3? If your health is deteriorating then do you want to be at the mercy of someone who deliberately does things to make you feel worse just at the time when you can do less and less. Might he 'bumblingly' not give you the right medication, delay doses, that tablet you have to take on an empty stomach, or a full stomach, or the one you have on a monday and have to sit up after, or otherwise do things that adversely affect your health? Imagine a dear elderly relative was in a carehome and despite the home knowing you were sensitive to smells they still insisted in coming in and cleaning late at night, or continually did things that you'd told them would upset your relative or a carer did some of the other things you described, would you just let it go or would you complain and get them to behave reasonably? You are worth protecting. Could you have a word with your doc? At very least if he knew beforehand and you took your husband he could say no strong smelling stuff as it's bad for your health. Again, his reaction would tell you a lot