He is 90 something today. About 13 years ago, six weeks after my mum died (married 50 years) he upped sticks and left the village we all lived in. He went to Canada with a woman who apparently he had been having an affair with many years ago. I hadn't known my mum knew about it and stuck by him (and him by her)
He was a violent abusive intimidating father who delighted in throwing me down the stairs or hanging me against the wall. I have no feelings for him but do communicate with him. At the age of 63 I am very damaged and don't trust men. I just wish for him to pop his nasty little clogs and then I can wash my hands of him.
There are probably a whole load of us damaged in one way or the other. And that damage runs through us no matter our age.
I rang him today to wish him well, he said snidely, you're still the same girl aren't you in a vicious way. I said in a good way or bad. He didn't answer. Thankyou for reading, oh it's been so good to offload this - and I send everyone else who has been through the hell of a narcissistic cruel parent my love.
Silent treatment - son
Caught in the act - neighbours
How to say it - 'no'