SIL not accepting of my gay GD

If your sister-in-law is genuinely concerned that this is 'not God's plan' then I recommend you buy her a copy of, 'Love is an Orientation' by Andrew Marin. This challenges people to leave aside judgements and simply love people, whatever their 'orientation'.

It's sad when family members are so rigid in their views, although these things can be hard to accept initially. Sometimes it's simply because they don't actually know anyone who is gay etc.

My thoughts are that if people are kind, thoughtful and good citizens, then their sexual orientation is not important, any more than their colour or religion.

I would remind your SIL that "God is love" if she has religious objections to homosexuality.

Love, not hatred makes the world go round and there are far more important things to be concerned about than a person's sexuality. Let her tut. She will probably come round in time, when she realises the world hasn't caved in.

My mother was not accepting of her grandaughter who is gay, until she married. Her wife is a lovely person, and has completely won my mother over. It may be difficult at first, but your grandaughter has her lovely grandparents and dad to support her. I hope her mother will too.

I suggest if your SIL doesn’t accept your daughter you don’t accept her. She is a bigot . No doubt she thought your daughter was fine whist she assumed she was straight

It's not easy when people are so rigid in their views Hamalasyno All you can do is to support your granddaughter and show her she is loved whatever path she chooses. Tread carefully with your sister in law so that she doesn't become alienated from you all
Many years ago now my maternal grandparents, Aunt and cousin refused all contact with me as I was an adopted illegitimate child. This continued to the end of their lives. I hope things work out for you all.

my dad was the same before my DD came out, now he has mellowed a lot and really enjoys the company of dd and her lovely partner, thank goodness

Your SIL will probably find it very difficult but hopefully she will continue to love her daughter just as much and in time re- think her stance on it.

I do hope it all works out, I’m sure it will.
Not making light of your situation, but this ‘ Letter to Dr Laura’ made me giggle.

‘Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a Bible-believing “agony aunt” who gives life and relationship advice. Citing the Bible, Dr. Laura has repeatedly said that gays are “mistakes of nature.” In response to this, somebody wrote a satirical open letter to Dr. Laura .

The letter reads:

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.’

I just love that, daddima! Thank you.

Can I ask what it is that you think she might do in terms of a reaction to the news? What’s the scenario that you fear?

its really none of her business is it? Let her get on with her life and your GD get on with hers.They may not have to be in contact much anyway so why let one bigots opinion worry either you or your GD

Lol Daddima very funny!

Why would your SILs views change about her niece surely she has loved her since she was born why should she change her views about her now.Just ignore her and don't let it upset you or your GD in any way.

Daddima Thank you for that!

I m confused who does this 18 year old belong to She’s your granddaughter and it’s your brothers wife you’re concerned about ....a great aunt by marriage so what has her opinion got to do with the price of bread ?
Are the 18 year old’s parents accepting ? Her gran and grandad (as you say we) are accepting Her great uncle will be accepting so what’s to worry about ?

Isn't the SIL( sister in law) the mum of the 18 year old or have I got it all wrong?

I think I have definitely got it all wrong!!!

Well thankfully - if I have got this right - the sis-in-law is relatively peripheral to your DGD's life so she can go take a hike!

If she visits, tell her what you think - that she is wrong, simply wrong.

Welcome your DGD with open arms and just ignore this bigoted woman.

I think you have mumofmadboys but don’t worry I had to read the original about three times to get it into context I first of all thought it was about a son in law ?

Daddima that is wonderful I may well quote that to some of my Northern Irish friends !

Hamalasyno, I have been thinking about this. Your SIL must be aunt-by-marriage to one of your GD's parents, and thus a great-aunt-by-marriage to your GD. This is not the closest of relationships, and since GD is both old enough and mature enough to let her parents and you know she is gay, she is unlikely to be very concerned that your brother's wife holds archaic views. I imagine she will decide not to bother much with the silly old bat - or however she characterises her.

You are worrying about how you will cope with the things your SIL may say. To show her that you recognise she is entitled to different views from yours, but not to use them to make you unhappy, could you bring yourself to say something on the lines of 'You and I have different ideas about these things. I love and respect [use GD's name]. She is an adult and has thought about this. Hearing you say things like that about her makes me very upset. Please stop. Let's talk about something else.' Refuse to be drawn into arguments. The 'stuck record' technique can be very effective - you stay calm, and repeat what you have said as often as it takes to get the message across. 'You are making me upset. Please stop.'

You may find it helpful to decide on a form of words and practice them beforehand. What you are doing is showing your SIL that you support GD, that you are not rising to bait, but this is absolutely NOT an acceptable topic for discussion between you.

Leave it alone.
You are accepting of your granddaughter; if her great aunt is not, (and it hasn't happened yet), don't be outraged by her reaction, simply say, it doesn't matter to you and you are simply glad your grandchild is happy..
She may be genuinely horrified, because during our lifetimes homosexuality was illegal, and some people haven't yet come to terms with it. Like most people, once they are confronted with in their own family they realise it is no big deal.

Seriously, who tells their C and GC not to come how with someone of the same sex? Like, why would someone be even saying this.
Anyhow, all was good whilst she assumed she was straight and now she’s not...well I’d tell her to take a running jump!