Mumsnet discussions about estrangement

Yes not nice to have that kind of bitchin in front of the GC. I actually think kids should go their own way when they grow up and show their independence by being self sufficient but too many are users who pick up with parents when they want something,i.e. Childcare etc. So many ac have gone nc when they don't need you anymore. It's rife

Same old replies same names so adamantly in the right! No inciteful discussion just ‘I’m right your wrong (yawn).

There seems to be one poster over there who never seems to advocate conciliation always complete estrangement. Attila the Hun not her real name but I wonder if she has serious problems and wants everyone to be miserable. I do think there is often a middle way although there seem to be some mad families around.

No mad families on gransnet of course.

I think there has been quite a lot of insightful discussion, particularly about the change in social attitudes to older people. The generation aged 60s and 70s now were taught to respect their parents whatever they did, just because of seniority. The changes that have occured are therefore surprising to them at first .Stansgran I am glad you mentioned that person. I thought it wouldn't be allowed. She is one of the people I was thinking of. I consider her to be a divisive and even dangerous influence. She seems to have a following. I am very aware that some people are far better off without abusive parents in their life but she attributes the worst of motives to all parents and gives the same advice in all situations. She is very sure of herself and tells people what to do very easily. Don't get me wrong, some people have very dysfunctional parents but she sees narcissism everywhere. She also seems to think she can predict the future. It is this approach that people worry about on MN. I know it isn't universal there.

I went on MN once, I soon backed off. It was a positive bear pit. Must have improved, judging by some comments on here. I've not been tempted to dip my toe in again though.

I know who you mean Stan and she is pretty forceful. I suppose it’s the same with every online forum - you get people who have some pretty extreme views and because they’re extreme you tend to notice them and remember them more than the moderate, reasonable posts that make up the majority.

To me MN is like twitter..

Current events often get posted about there before they get reported in the media, e.g. there was more info about the manchester bombings on MN than initially in the press as things unfolded. Ditto Grenfell, and how to help (or not when the help became unhelpful!)

Its a very useful source and I often browse. I see it as a news source, and I take all news sources with a pinch of salt but I think its important to read more than one news source

I agree notanan I often use MN as a reference source for all manner of things, it can be incredibly useful. Some of the viewpoints can be pretty robust at times, very much like Twitter, but there’s a lot of really good stuff on there. It’s like GN - there are posters whose views you find abhorrent and others who speak a lot of sense, so it’s a case of drowning out the sound on the former and listening to the latter.

Yes, and the search feature is great for property & legal stuff.

I used the MN search feature a lot when house hunting because thetr can be odd deed issues in my area due to the time period that most houses here were built in. Pretty much every property/legals/deeds issue you may come up agsinst has been discussed on there at some point.

I think it's good knowing young ones feel differently to issues and NC is possible.

Not so good if you're the one they decide to go non contact with.

No I’m sure it’s not if you haven’t done anything to warrant it

No it isn't SirChenjin

I remember funny members just as much as the insightful and the negative- Each bringing their own thing to the table- Do agree every forum has similar "characters", yet unique in their own way-

Years back people weren't as reluctant to meet up but social media has changed all that, there's considerable distrust- But I think genuine concern continues despite it, even from complete strangers-

There are two or four sides to every story. Only belief in one side causes many NC to my view.

Three or four accounts of the same story? Please explain that?

Joyfulnanna, As many as are in the story have their own side to the story. The son, the dil, the gm, the doughter, the sil, the gc, each have a true side to their story.

Aha yes each person's perception of an event is different depending on their own agenda. It's the spirit of what happened that's important, and what is left out of the discussion causing misunderstanding. The embellishments people add can be misconstrued as truth. If all parties don't discuss the event together, then the 'spirit' can never be agreed. That's my take anyway. Sorry that was probably a bit boring

I agree Joyfulnanna. Why didn't you include parents in your list of those who "have a true side to their story" Norah?

I remember a while ago out of curiousity looking at MN and was astonished at the vitriolic response in relation to grandparents who were judged not to have done enough child care or not provided enough money etc etc.

One of these gave a link to a site with advice about how to go no contact. I took a look and found a number of these ‘advice’ sites using terms like toxic, narcissistic , flying monkeys (!) which I think meant cutting out the rest of the family too in case they passed on information. It was a real eye opener.

Smileless2012, I thought the gm to be the parent. Sorry if I missed someone in the long list of who opines on the matter. GGP, GP, daugher, son, dil, sil, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, and others. OK?

Joyfulnanna,

Yes, I think that each person's perception of an event is different, because each person is indeed different with their own agenda. My sister friend row with her dil because my friend wanted her dil (not son, why I'll never know) to make decisions well before time to decide. That sounds mean for NC, but we havent walked in her shoes.

Sounds mean for NCsounds like a flimsy excuse IMO but then again, if you want to go NC sometimes any excuse will do.

Smileless2012, I think that to be true, if NC is desired by anyone they will find a way. Really, I dont want to be near anyone who doesnt want me, I think NC to be a good solution for all concerned. An easy fading away.