going it alone

The suggestion about getting free time with a solicitor is a start. Also ask your doctor for counselling help. They might suggest Relate. They have recently helped my daughter.

25 years ago, I left my husband after 20 years of marriage. I saw a counsellor for over a year before I made the decision. She was brilliant. Listened and listened. That's what you need at first. We could all suggest things to you but it's you that has to carry it out so you decide. The solicitor will point you in the right direction legally. The counsellor will give you the strength to make that decision.

Good Luck.

I was by myself for the next 20 years. Had a couple of relationships but then (6 years ago) I met an old boyfriend who I knew in 1968. We married three years ago after I moved to live with him.

Don’t even think about leaving your marriage. It’s the worst thing you will ever do. He’s ok, you need to adjust so you’re ok too. Happy days. No lonely nights, no lawyers bills, no broken homes, no stigma, no skimping n scrapping, no dating unsuitable guys. You don’t need failure in your life you were perfect once upon a time so think very long and hard. If all he is is boring that’s nothing, mostly they’re violent, cruel, bad tempered, mean therefore boring is like gold, - from someone who made the mistake twice.

Gigill You may have felt you made a mistake but that may not be the case for Sophie. She is recognising her problems and thinking about her options. Legal advice, Relate, counselling, talking to her partner are all good suggestions. She can then make informed decisions and prepare for change, one way or another.

I chose to leave my marriage and it was complicated but I prepared for it by developing my own independence. No it was not easy but it was the best thing for me and my children. I have never needed another man. Why do people think this is so important? You don't have to be lonely. There is a world full of people that you can have relationships with of so many different kinds, having fun, helping and supporting others, clubs, charity work, shared interests, using your expertise to help or just listening to others who need someone.

By the way 'boring' is not 'nothing' or 'gold'. It can be equally as soul destroying as violence, cruelty or control, just maybe not so obvious to the outsider. Believe me I know!

Gigill I'm sorry if you had a bad time. You do sound unhappy and bitter. There are lots of good men out there as Gransnetters can attest to.
It's still better to be happy alone than in a partnership which makes you sad.

gigill your experience is not mine, a hundred times better alone than in a controlling, abusive marriage you may have made a mistake I didn’t, and I m sure sodapop and many other divorced ladies didn’t either
My advice is still the same if it’s not working go it alone there’s a big world of nice people out there and you can live happily without a man in tow

I left my husband 10 years ago and have absolutely no regrets. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. Why should you spend it in misery when you can be free and, hopefully, much happier.

All of the above! But can I just add, and emphasise, that being alone is NOT the same as being lonely. Wishing you all the best and lots of luck with whatever you decide to do.

Take a step back and look at what the future can hold for you. If you carry on as you are, what would that be like? If you make a clean break, could there be happiness? It's hard to know of course, but only you can decide. I really hope you can sit down with someone and talk it through and maybe that will help you see things a bit more clearly. Also, please do go for legal advice. All the best to you.