Daughter

@donna1964
Such sound advice.

I would take donna1964's advice and urge your daughter to attend a CAB interview.

Alongside the above I would warn her that you will be very gradually reducing payments over the coming weeks/months. This may get her to realise she needs to take advice to get back on her feet....as your funds will be running out.

Please keep us posted.

Your Universal Credit will include a child element if you are responsible for a child or qualifying young person who normally lives with you. You usually receive a child element of £235.83 per child per month.

If you’re eligible for Universal Credit you can get help to cover your rent and some service charges.

You get the payment and you have to pay it to your landlord

Universal Credit Standard Allowance Single claimant aged under 25: £342.72 per month. Single claimant aged 25 or over: £409.89 per month. Joint claimants both aged under 25: £488.59 per month. Joint claimants either aged 25 or over: £594.04 per month

This come off the gov website so as she has the children it would work out more then So she would get £594 a month plus £235 a month for each child and her rent and council tax payed.....she will also get back pay from when she applied
Hope this helps

I'm sure it is tricky for you with the grandchildren involved. Perhaps you worry about her response because of them...? As this has gone on a long time, perhaps it needs to be stopped over a few months.... cutting the amount by a third each month so she has a bit of time to change her habits. Tough love!! It could be done with husband... and do her brothers know? It should not be all your problem. Maybe suggest she starts looking online for help with budgetting.

This from a Mum with 2 girls who manage their own finances, and a son who at 33 has never really been financially independent, and has a drink problem.

It's not that he never has his own money, but the minute he has it it's spent, and then he needs medication, food or hasn't quite enough for his rent.

We are not well off, I'm disabled, my husband gets his state pension but we manage. But like you, every week I'm subbing my son, he says it's a loan, but he has NEVER paid anything back. Gradually over the years everyone else has stopped the loans so it's just us now, and we have had to stop now as well. Food costs seem to have gone up so we really do have nothing else left.

Shockingly he hasn't been evicted, he hasn't wasted away, in fact he's cooking at home......pubs are shut, he's not even buying take a ways. It seems like what my daughter's and other family members are saying.....he will survive when he has to, but why bother when he doesn't have to?

I suspect your daughter is the same, at the moment she doesn't have to manage, so she doesn't. Tell her that prices are up for you too and you can't afford to help her. Tell her to contact Step Change, they will help her sort out any debts that she may have and to sort out a budget with her that she can actually afford.

If you can afford to put a little money to one side for the children specifically, maybe you could help with school uniform, trips or a winter coat? But make sure it's you who buys them not you giving money to your daughter. She may say she has to buy it through the school, but if you want you can contact the school and ask for access to their uniform order form, or to pay for a trip etc.

She will manage, maybe with difficulty to begin with but I promise you she won't end up on the streets. Just keep telling her you can't help, that she must contact stepchange, they will help her.

Is your daughter in debt? If so, she needs to contact her creditors to discuss her situation. When I escaped from ex I took all the debts with me. Looking back it was a stupid thing to do but at the time I just wanted to run. Anyway I managed the debts until I became too ill to work but then I couldn't make the required payments (a lot of money....it was a huge debt). I contacted the creditors, sent them a statement of income and expenditure (I can send you a blank if you want one) and offered each one a token payment of £1 per month. To my amazement they all accepted. It's been my experience that as long as you're up front with them and keep them updated they're happy to work with you and aren't in the least bit threatening or nasty.

I supported my son for years because of his health. Our income has crashed because of covid. He asked me for three hundred dollars to.get a bigger green waste bin. I said I would when our finances picked up. He three a right tantrum to me and his father. We have stood our ground and he's stopped asking. I would suggest you just do.things like buy clothes for the grandchildren or school trips. She may not talk to you for a week but she will get over it.

Help your children out whatever age. That is our duty. Give. Why not? It is the right thing to do.
Who knows you might be a mug but be a mug with a clear conscience.
None of us want our children hoping we would pass on so that they would inherit our house and our money.
It is only money and how privileged we are to be able to help them out.

Great. Feel better after saying all that.