This is a long post. Please bear with me. I am scared that I will lose my beautiful grand daughter.
My DIL and Son had a beautiful little girl nearly three years ago. From day one I have had concerns about the way he speaks to her and treats her. My DIL had a traumatic birth and resulted in a full prolapse and stoma bag. My son stayed with DIL for the whole duration of her hospital stay and wasn't really concerned about his daughter. Who was being looked after by her mother.
My sons relationship with his daughter is one that scares and worries me. Ever since she was born he has taken great delight in calling her names such as bitch, retard to name just two. When I have asked him to stop his reply was that "it's funny". I am mortified. He then continued to control her in ways such as, not being allowed to go into the garden, not too much Sun. If I asked if I could take her for a walk the answer is always no. For no other reason than he knows it upsets me and when I asked why, I'm told, "she's my daughter I can do what I want with her.
DIL and Son actually separated mid year this year and so now Son sees her Tues, Thurs, Fri and Sat. Sometimes Sunday. You may think this is great but he only does it so he can see his ex-wife. He is utterly fixated with his ex wife. There is no concern for his little girl or her development. He works from home and often sits for 8 hours on his laptop while she wanders around the front room playing with the toys I've bought. Throughout Summer he wouldn't let her in the garden because he didn't like the Sun. She isn't allowed milk because she's "milk intolerant". She has never been tested. She had ring worm and when I mentioned that he could get her some cream he said that it was the washing pods he was using? Whenever she went to itch it, he shout at her to stop doing it.
He seems to take delight in making her cry. He picked her up a few weeks ago and proceeded to spin her around and she was hysterical. I challenged him and asked why making his daughter cry like that was fun. He said, "because it's funny."
She is absolutely terrified of the bath. She didn't used to be. But recently he decided that she needed a bath at 5pm. She looked at me and started crying saying that "I don't like it Nanna". She really was sobbing. When I asked why doesn't she like it he said, "she's putting it on and they are crocodile tears." When they were staying with us in the beginning of the separation I witnessed him washing her hair. She hates the water in her eyes. I had to go in and beg him to stop. She was screaming so much that she had wet herself. I bought a hair washing cap so it didn't go in her eyes. He refused to use it saying that "we don't do tears in this house."
I am now at the point where I dread the days I know that this innocent little girl goes to stay with my Son. When I go and visit she runs to me and constantly sticks by my side.
I'm not allowed to speak to his ex wife as per his instructions. Despite my saying that I want to continue having a relationship with her. But if I do speak to her he will stop my seeing my grand daughter.
A couple of weeks ago she had a bruise on her forehead. When I asked how she did it, he said she was throwing some socks around and she fell over some weights and banged her head. Yet when I asked my grand daughter, she said "Daddy smacked me."
Please help. I don't know what to do.
