late to bed unreasonable?

We're the opposite to OP, he goes to bed very early, I stay up late. He snores and gets up a lot in the night. When Covid started we slept separately as he is mid 70s with a dodgy heart so I wanted to reduce the risk of him catching it. We both slept much better.
We're in temporary accommodation at the moment whilst we wait to move into a new house and have only one bedroom, but it has a superking bed (two mattresses and bases, joined together) which makes a huge difference. For us this is a pretty good compromise

When my OH is away I find it very difficult to get to sleep. I miss the closeness. On the other hand I snore a lot sometimes and if rolling over does not stop it I often go to the spare room so as not to disturb his sleep. But I then crawl back into our bed for an hours kip before I get up.

Separate bedrooms it’s the answer! I hated the thought of it when he first suggested it, but now I absolutely love it. I wouldn’t have him (or anyone else for that matter) in with me now. I love the privacy, the exclusivity and the fact it is my own space. When we go on holiday, we still have separate rooms. It’s great! We still get jiggy from time to time but omg it’s the way forward!

My dh and I have totally different sleep patterns. He goes to be between 10.30 and 11.00...Literally always between these two times ...a real creature of habit. I, on the other hand have a slightly longer range of bedtimes. Usually sometime between 12.30 and 2.00. I aim for 12.30 but it is getting more often 2.00.

I try not to disturb him. If I read I use a kindle with a back light, which works for us. Sometimes, even when I don;t get to bed until 2.00 I still need to read in order to drop off. This did cause problems before the advent of the kindle but now doesn't disturb his at all. He gets up between 7.30 and 8.00 usually but is occasionally earlier than this. If I haven't surfaced by 9.00 he comes to wake me up because it is getting 'very late' I don't mind this because he then makes breakfast and I never get dressed to face the day before 10.00.

More annoying than any differences in times for bed is our different levels of warmth needs. Dh is quite content with a tog of 4 ...in all weathers except the depths of winter. Me ...not so much. I really feel the cold so this winter we have finally decided to have 2 single quilts to suit our individual needs. Can't think why it's taken us so long.

We started making use of the spare room when the kids left home. If one of us couldnt sleep, or had to get up early then they would de-camp. Usually it was me. I am a really light sleeper and just about anything wakes me up. We evolved into separate rooms and I love it. Its the ultimate luxury for me and I sleep so much better. DH wasnt keen on the idea at first, but he has accepted that a good nights sleep is vital. Interestingly he accepted this after he broke his kneecap and was in agony and couldnt sleep for a couple of months. He said it was the very first time he had ever experienced sleep problems and he had no idea how awful it is.

I go to bed about 10pm and my husband stays up till the early hours playing games on his i pad, he's 65!! a bit long in the tooth i think. We have had seperate rooms for years and its one of the best things we ever did. I love having my own room. I can read as long as i like and i dont have to worry about disturbing anyone. Move into another room, you wont regret it, especially if he wont change his ways.

spabbygirl, I don't think it's reasonable to expect him to turn in at the same time as you.

Having said that, my lodger would often doze (and snore) on the sofa, refusing to move. It was infuriating.

I'd turn off the lights and TV, open the window and shut the door. He'd complain that he woke up freezing. Tough - he always had a choice!

When you have different body clocks, it's very difficult. The problem is that sleep is VITAL to good health (both physically and mentally) so being constantly disturbed is not going to be good for yours. I can also understand that he's not going to be happy about the idea of separate bedrooms (mine wasn't). My husband likes to go to bed much earlier than me (it's the mornings he wakes me up trying to sneak out before I'm ready to wake up) plus he often snores, so now we compromise by 2 nights per week he sleeps in the spare room and I get 2 good nights sleep, which keeps me going. It was either that, or seperate bedrooms. I would suggest that it's lack of sleep that's wearing down your tolerance - don't allow it to become chronic. Getting enough quality sleep is not optional to good health.

We have seperate bedrooms too and have done for several years now and both love it. ?. Been married for 37 years

At least he doesn't wake you up requiring sex! Mine did, now divorcing.... after 41 years. Not the sole reason, but it did play a part, made me realise what a selfish person he was ?