Oh Lakelover, there’s so much I could say....don’t know where to start. The number of times I heard the “ it’s just they way they are” statement. Well...... I didn’t like the way they were, and after 25 years of trying to put it right, gave up. My husband didn’t like it either, but found it difficult to deal with. He also had a sister who compounded everything. She was the instigator of “ we should just put up with it.
NO, you absolutely do NOT have to put up with it. You are starting with a clean slate with your new baby, and you are right. Children pick up on things, mine did, that’s why we eventually cut off 20 years ago.
Why grandparents, or parents of adult children think they can behave this way has always been completely incomprehensible to me. You are your little baby’s mother. He needs you for absolutely everything. He also needs his father to step up, and protect you from his parents, who, like many older people with grown families, still think everything revolves around them. You and your son should be your husband‘S first concern. It may be he’s frightened of them...or dealing with them, like my husband was, but it has to be done. Otherwise you’ll just create another cycle of the same for your son and any more children you have.
Do it now...on your own if you have to. Stand your ground. Perhaps your own parents can help. Mine didn’t, but that’s another story. There’s plenty of us on here who can support you. Your in laws...as your own parents, need to understand they’re just spectators now.
I wish you all the best, and congratulations on the birth of your son.