How many times have you been in love?

I am SO relieved that some of you admit to not having ever really loved. Life just bumbles along with DH there to be fed and to do things with. But not really a "soulmate". Is there such a thing?

I've never been brave enough to admit it. Oh yes, I've had some crushes and been in lust. But I'm glad they stayed that way. Not sure that enduring happiness is possible with one person, so I prefer to imagine what life could be like if I'd married the boy I had a crush on in the second form, or the boys I went out with in the sixth form. Or even the man from work who I was infatuated with. (It was mutual but he had 4 kids and I had 3 so no way José).

My children and grandchildren, of course, I have probably loved. Still do, of course. But it is such an intangible thing. Sometimes I think it's just an amalgamation of pride, contentment, protectiveness, admiration, wonder and a variety of other feelings, many evoked simply by hormones.

.... (am I really going to press "post"?)

Just once, properly, overwhelmingly.

JackyB

I am SO relieved that some of you admit to not having ever really loved. Life just bumbles along with DH there to be fed and to do things with. But not really a "soulmate". Is there such a thing?

I've never been brave enough to admit it. Oh yes, I've had some crushes and been in lust. But I'm glad they stayed that way. Not sure that enduring happiness is possible with one person, so I prefer to imagine what life could be like if I'd married the boy I had a crush on in the second form, or the boys I went out with in the sixth form. Or even the man from work who I was infatuated with. (It was mutual but he had 4 kids and I had 3 so no way José).

My children and grandchildren, of course, I have probably loved. Still do, of course. But it is such an intangible thing. Sometimes I think it's just an amalgamation of pride, contentment, protectiveness, admiration, wonder and a variety of other feelings, many evoked simply by hormones.

.... ^(am I really going to press "post"?) ^

Ooh. Have been in lust. That IS overwhelming. My ex husband left me because he was ‘in love’ with someone else. I tried to tell him it was lust but he wouldn’t listen. It was and then when he realised it was too late. He still regrets it years later. Lust is extraordinarily powerful and sometimes confused with love.

I am sceptical about people who claim their partner is their ‘soulmate’.

I don’t think my DH is my soulmate, although we are happy together. I don’t think deep down, he always knows what makes me tick. I don’t think anyone does.

I read that the definition of love is when that person’s happiness is more important than your own, and I think that is very true.

Soulmates. Pft. What if your soulmate was on the opposite side of the world and you never travelled? Destined just not to meet?

One of my three was probably 'the one'. Worked his way down to just being one of three. Life, and people, are fickle. We live and learn.

GagaJo

Soulmates. Pft. What if your soulmate was on the opposite side of the world and you never travelled? Destined just not to meet?

One of my three was probably 'the one'. Worked his way down to just being one of three. Life, and people, are fickle. We live and learn.

I love that. “Worked his way down” ???? brilliant. Made my Sunday.

I thought I'd been in love countless times. Starting off with David Essex.

I've been married twice. I was obsessed with my first husband. Madly in love. But looking back I can't have been. Or else I fell out of love with him

Then a couple of boyfriends were loves of my life until I dumped them. So even though I did think I was in love I can't have been

I always had slight sympathy with Princes Charles with his, whatever love is

I've been in love many times. But I'm not in love with them now. So does that mean I was never in love?

It's all getting complicated now so I give up.

I am now very happily married to a wonderful patient man. I love him.

Can't see me ever going off this one.

Twice

Like Marydoll once. Same as Gingster we met when we were 16 and we are celebrating our Golden Wedding Anniversary this Year. We have had and are still having a wonderful life together.

5 times.. and that doesn’t include my ex !! Happy now though with number 5. Mr I. I’ve had enough heartache over the years and so has Mr I.

Once. Unfortunately, for me, he had an affair 43 years in! Don’t love him now and don’t want any replacement

Once and we were married 55 years, sadly I am now widowed.

I think it is being in love with being in love.

The theme of ths thread seems to be that you can only truly love once. Does true love have to be life long? Can you not be deeply in love and just find life and circumstances over a longish period of time change one, the other or both so love disappears and then love again, or not?

Yes, Polarbear2. And laments what is gone too. What a pillock.

I think so MOnica. Life gets in the way.

GagaJo

Yes, Polarbear2. And laments what is gone too. What a pillock.

I think so MOnica. Life gets in the way.

Mine too. Married 25 years. Brain went south when he met up with an old flame. 6 months later his brain found its way back into his head by which time it was too late. 15 yrs on and he still texts me every 3/6 months to say how much he misses me. Pillock as you say ?

Married 3 times. In love twice. First married too young and major major mistake ( he ended up in prison!) . Second asked me to marry him after 3 hours and I said yes. Very happy for over 30 years till the ‘ big C ‘. Met number 3 after internet dating. He was a widow as well. We are very happy but acknowledge it was a special marriage which showed us how happy we could be and wanted to share our lives with someone else again. We’ve been together 5 years and married 4. Life is good.

not sure if enduring happiness is possible with one person
In my case it is. 40 years together I still adore him. Nobody comes near him for making me happy, contented, loved.

There are different kinds of love between men and women And I think the best is the kind that grows slowly in marriage.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y9F5St4j0

Soulmates

Could be quite different from a lover, a partner, a husband.
A soulmate could be a platonic friend.

three times for me, was 13 and boyfriend was 17, together for 4 years, 1st husband we both married to get away from home, realised we were better as friends with benefits, met my late husband while i still was with first, helped him out by taking some food to him, sat talking all night and moved in the next day, it was a different kind of love from the others...soul mates, we knew what each other was thinking, he was 18 years older than me, we married and had 18 years together until he died at 57, i have been on my own since i was 39...now 58.

Just once, met at 16yr married at 20yrs and still together 49yrs later.We have little in common only the happiness of our children and DGC , bicker most days, complete opposites but I love him more and more as years go by.No great romantic gestures but strong morals,caring and trustworthy.

I think there are plenty of examples of people who have been married for life and not regretted it.

I am reminded of the joke about a 50th Wedding celebration and someone asked the husband. '50 years married and did you really never once ever contemplate divorce?' To which the husband replied 'Murder frequently, but never divorce.'

That is the secret of a long happy marriage, adaptability.

I was engaged at 21, then engaged again (and married this time) at 25. Divorced at 38 and then in a long-term relationship for 20 years. Looking back I can see I wasn't in love with any of them, but I did find the love of my life when I was 60 and we've now been together for 15 years.

My first love. We were both in the Forces & circumstances drove us apart. I've had loves since but nothing to compare how I felt about him. It was mutual. I loved him then, I love him now. I'll always love him.