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Meeting other like minded people

(105 Posts)
MollyAA12 Tue 23-Mar-21 06:57:33

We are a retired couple with no children, grandchildren or indeed any family.

We find it difficult to meet other couples in the same boat. Does anyne know of any club or association that we could join. I would be happy to start a friendship with someone by phone/email initially. Like a sort of phone pal situation.

All the older couples we know are tied up with grandchildren (usually) and really are not interested in us. We are looked upon as a little strange because I could not have children! We live in Lincolnshire

SueB14 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:09:24

Join your local U3A. It’s a like minded group of people with all sorts of interests. Our local one has art classes, walking groups, genealogy groups, theatre visits (Covid permitting), language groups, talks etc etc. Something for everyone.

Cid24 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:15:51

I’ve made lots of friends through learning the ukulele ! Obv the meet ups aren’t happening at the moment , but there’s a whole joyful UKE world out there!!

readalot Tue 23-Mar-21 11:17:28

Jeannie59, I too have commented on posts but I can never see them when I go back on.

NemosMum Tue 23-Mar-21 11:22:44

Volunteering is the key, I feel, as others have said. Choose something that is important to you. It doesn't have to be heavy duty stuff. I volunteer at the local community library, which is entirely volunteer-run, so lots of different roles within that. I have made several good friends, and lots of pleasant acquaintances. After my husband died, I volunteered as a committee member for my local Dementia Action Alliance, which led to me becoming a Dementia Champion, running Dementia Friends sessions. This has also led to friendships. Since lockdown, I've been involved in a weekly Zoom current affairs group and I run another email-based one for the regional Humanists' group. All these have kept me sane and grounded since my husband died 6 years ago. I am lucky to have 2 daughters a short drive away. I am bubbled with one, but I am aware of give them space to live their busy lives and not be dependent upon them for my social life. Good luck, and why not let us know how it's going in a few months.

Bbbface Tue 23-Mar-21 11:23:11

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chardy Tue 23-Mar-21 11:24:11

From the experience of several of us (some work in lockdown, some dont)
Find somewhere to learn a new skill - not necessarily a craft
Get a dog and walk it at roughly the same time each day
Start a neighbours' group - WhatsApp or find a reason to contact a lot of neighbours eg I'm new to area, and I need a reliable plumber
Volunteer
Start a book group or a lunch group
Get to know local independent shop-keepers, they have a wealth of knowledge of local needs eg bonus granny previously mentioned
Offer to listen to children read in local primary (I think you'll need a DBS)
Good luck

Chardy Tue 23-Mar-21 11:28:29

I forget offering to help with teas at local sports clubs or flowers at church.
Some public spaces (inc cemeteries) need the help of amateur gardeners

tiredoldwoman Tue 23-Mar-21 11:34:47

Jeannie59, when I was first on here my posts seemed to be unreplied to and made me waddle off sadly like Billy Nae Mates ! But it balances out , lots of replies and super wise advice usually . Molly , I don't know how to make friends either so am reading with interest - good morning to all !

KaEllen Tue 23-Mar-21 11:39:52

readalot and Jeannie59

I am sorry to hear that you feel ignored. Your comments should be visible if you have posted - you can check immediately after posting that it is on the thread.

I simply comment when I feel I can make a contribution, but don't necessarily expect a direct response. If you start a thread you should get replies, however I noticed there are unanswered posts... just one of those things I am afraid.

I guess we all click on threads which sound of interest to us personally, and ignore other threads. In defence of those who don't read all replies, I don't always have the time or patience to read through 5+ pages of discussion... sorry.

ReadyMeals Tue 23-Mar-21 11:40:43

The vast majority of my posts don't get replies but that's mainly cos threads are just people posting experiences of a particular topic like "who has ever seen a ghost" etc. Not really much to reply about someone's account of an experience. As for making friends on here, most of the people seem very pleasant and fun, but as this is one of the few sites I don't identify myself on (due to some of the very personal family topics) I don't really see how a friendship on here could move into real life territory.

4allweknow Tue 23-Mar-21 11:44:23

Hello Jeannie59. I have bern on GNet for quite a number of years now and I too find it strange that no posting I have submitted has been highlighted. Dd died coming up for 2 years ago and even posted on the bereavement site asking for help on an issue. Not one acknowledgement or response.

Hetty58 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:47:12

ReadyMeals, I like being anonymous on here - so have no wish to transfer to 'real life' meetings at all. I really do value all the different views and life experiences I read about here, though.

Jillybird Tue 23-Mar-21 11:48:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charleygirl5 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:52:52

4allweknow I cannot understand how that happened because I am aware that some other GNs are/were in a similar position. That is disgraceful if that happened.

Jeannie59 may I suggest you read the Good Morning thread and also soop's kitchen. You will be welcomed on both threads.

Alioop Tue 23-Mar-21 11:53:33

I'm in the same boat, although I'm in my own. I have friends, but they are all in couples and have grandchildren. They are busy with their families and I go weeks without hearing from them. I send messages, etc trying to keep contact and hope I'm not being a nuisance. I've looked at groups before, there were very few and things I'm not interested in. I meet others when I'm out with the dog, I've met another divorced lady like myself and we have said when we are allowed to we will go for coffee. Love Gransnet, you feel like you belong somewhere and I do enjoy the chats.

Poppyred Tue 23-Mar-21 11:57:23

Bbbface

Please ignore if sensitive but did you choose not to have children? If so, do you now regret?

OP clearly states that she could not have children!

Keeper1 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:57:54

Hi Molly

Where about sun Lincolnshire are you. When we were able to a few of us from Lincolnshire have met up and I hope that we will be able to do so again. So hopefully you will be able to join a meet up?

Keeper1 Tue 23-Mar-21 11:59:01

Not sure what happened there, curse you predictive text. That should read, whereabouts in Lincolnshire

Theoddbird Tue 23-Mar-21 12:05:28

I joined U3A with the hope of finding new friends but immediately lock down started and none of the activities have started up again. I would love to make new friends in my area (near Ely).

Hetty58 Tue 23-Mar-21 12:06:01

I'm friends with a local childless couple. We met through walking the dogs and we do have a lot in common.

I think they feel a little sorry for me as I'm on my own (although I'm perfectly happy). I think it's sad that they only have each other, and no surviving family. I do try not to harp on about the kids and grandkids when we talk!

frue Tue 23-Mar-21 12:16:16

Agree with everyone who has suggested joining something to do something that interests you . Then you make friends through the shared interest and the pressure to make friends is off. Have moved a lot - reading groups have been great. Join one or start one. Good luck

MaggsMcG Tue 23-Mar-21 12:20:50

Jeannie59 I dont respond very often as its too much hassle I can't even work out how to respond to anyone.

Lovelifelynn Tue 23-Mar-21 12:29:29

Hi Jeanie, I'll reply to you. I posted on here about meeting up with people and received Rude replies about being in lockdown and there's always one! It was obvious I asking about meeting when able. Can't win them all.

Grannynannywanny Tue 23-Mar-21 12:47:39

Jeannie59 I’m wondering if your posts/questions appear to be unnoticed could be because you are inadvertently posting in the wrong place.

I was touched by your post yesterday about your husband’s recent diagnosis. Unfortunately you had inadvertently posted it on a thread discussing ceramic tiles. I replied to you and suggested if you started it as a new thread you would receive helpful advice from other posters in the same position as yourself.

Another poster, I think CrazyH, came along shortly afterwards and posted similar to you. Sorry you are having a tough time. Please do try again with it as a new thread and I’m sure you will have a helpful response ?

Riggie Tue 23-Mar-21 13:05:00

Jeannie59

I joined Gransnet to chat to others and My posts never get posted or replied to
So I am wondering if this site is as clichey, as the outside world

I dont know what you mean by "not posted". There's no pre approval of posts here sonas soon as you hit the "post" bitton tjeu should be there.

Unfortunately there's no facility to reply to a specific poster unless someone decides to quote them (as I have done) or tag them in so replies will jist be among the general chat