Red flag/Dealbreaker

I'm in two minds tbh. If he has been furloughed, he will only have been on 80% of his normal salary and the fact that he has been doing a lot of diy may not mean that he has been spending much money at all, he may be using what he has, or even making use of a lot of the freecycle sites that are available and getting most of what he needs for nothing!
Or he hasn't been doing anything, and just made it all up to impress!
If he had been sensible, he could have chosen a venue for you both to meet up nearer to his home that he either needed less fuel to get to or was within walking distance but no, he did the "gentlemanly thing" and I assume met you half way.
He may very well have made the plans to meet up , had a recent bill or something and then realised he had less in his bank account than he thought to last him for the rest of the month (for one thing, he'd have had to pay his council tax for the first time this year) he possibly didn't want to disappoint you by cancelling your date , didn't realise that he had so little fuel in the tank when he got to your meeting place so asked for the cash rather than giving a full explanation!
I'd possibly give him the benefit of the doubt and at least wait and see if you get your money back! If no show, well, cut the contact . I don't understand, if you have been chatting to him, why don't you just say that you were a bit surprised or even disappointed that he asked you for the money ? If he doesn't give any more of an explanation, you have a possible reason to end the relationship or just keep it online or like I said, he may have a genuine reason to be short of cash. Doesn't necessarily mean he's mean or a complete financial idiot!

Run for the hills, £20 the first time he met you how much will it be later on when you may have fallen for him
I would say don’t worry keep the money and then delete his number

You are going to dodge a bullet.
His going to give it back might even add a fiver on top.
This reminds me of the lady who passed away some time ago.
The sons could see it for what it was his having a whale if a time with her money now.

I agree with the majority of the responders.... If he had asked me for the price of a stamp he would’ve been history....

I think I'd have thought maybe he just hadn't brought enough out with him, but I'm probably too trusting! I'd see if you get it back Monday as promised then give him anothe chance. As long as you take things slowly and don't build too many expectations until you see if there is a repeat you may be surprised.

I’m glad to read that you have followed your instincts on this one. ?

jaylucy

Nah this is a well known grooming method.
You'd be shocked at what people can do .

See what Monday brings - hopefully your money ! He might surprise you ? My Mum used to say ' never a lender nor a borrower be ' you can use that quote if you ever see him again .
stay safe x

Was it a fun date? Did you pay for it?
Stick with the old adage - don't lend anything you wouldn't be prepared to give away.
If he is furloughed and doing DIY chances are he is making absolutely enough and what's more if he really is into you he would rather walk than embarrass himself by asking; and more to the point embarrass YOU by asking.

I hate to say it but I think he was so enthusiastic about your day that he realized he would be able to “borrow” again and, perhaps, even more next time!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

What a ‘creepy’ chap! Run, run, run! At least you know where you are with him... nowhere! Best of luck... one had to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet a Prince! This chap was not even as good as a frog ? though. ?

Some brilliant advice in these comments..........although, out of curiosity I might have considered a second date to see what happened. If he asked for more money I'd give him his marching orders but he would be told in no uncertain terms that he is preying on women to exploit them for money and make it known in the dating sites just what kind of bloke he is.

ILE35 a big red light warning.. surprised you needed to ask what others think.

Wait til Monday before you do anything.

If you get your money back, that's fine. Thank him, and don't make a new date. Tell him you are not sure what you will be doing for the next week, as you have various things to attend to.

Then in a couple of days, you can phone and say thank you for the dates you have had, but you are not interested in keeping up the friendship.

You are under no obligation to tell him why.

If Monday comes and no money, nor contact from him, which experience rather suggests might be the case, get in touch and ask when you can expect the money you lent him back.

If he starts making excuses, you know where you are.

I would point out that you lent him the money on the condition that it was to be returned on Monday and that you would not have given him it, if you had not believed him when he said he would have it for you on Monday.

If in the course of next week he doesn't turn up with the money or contact you, then by all means drop him.

If he asks for an explanation, say right out that you cannot trust a person who doesn't pay back a loan on time.

It was second date not first as some are saying.

I could never trust anybody who I’ve on,y met a couple of times who then asks for money. You must be very wary as the £20 could next be £200, and so on. Take great care.

Also, I do hope you tell somebody where you are going when you go walking with this person.

Go with your heart and call it a day, meet him see if you get your money back but be very wary and be thankful you got off lightly. It’s a shame, he may be genuinely strapped but you hear of such dreadful scams like this that just get far worse.. you sound a wise woman please be careful.......

That would have put me off straightaway. It was worth the £20 to get shut of him

Thin end of the wedge!

If he was too skint to meet you then get home again, he should have told you before the date.
He put you in a position where it was difficult for you to say no. He strikes me as either feckless or manipulative.

Even if he pays you back as promised do you really want to start a relationship with someone who hasn't £20 to their name.
Don't get involved, or listen to any excuses.

Instincts are usually right - move on

Not sounding good ....but I think you would be wise to stay clear ....£20 could soon turn into £2,000 and more ...go with your instincts and explain if you feel you need to, that you have an issue with money yourself (even if you don't) ..BUT if he does call to see you again, I would go just to see if you do get your money back ...if he is saying he doesn't get any money for another 10 days it is unlikely ...what is he go ing to do until then for food, petrol, etc ....if you meet him, take home made sandwiches and a flask of coffee .........and see how keen he is then .............good luck !

Lots of sound advice - I’d run too.
Just don’t let him lure you back with the return of the £20 - it sounds like the start of a toxic relationship and people can be very clever at manipulating others, especially if you start caring for them. Have seen it in action in my own family (over a couple of years too - what were we thinking??!) We were certainly duped at first and kept making excuses when we should have all acted. We now can’t believe we didn’t act on all the red flags and alarm bells we saw and the family member was left a shell of the person they were. The other thing to remember is - these toxic people can’t change even if they want to (which btw they don’t!) so please don’t think you’re the one who can change them. From extensive reading I’ve found these personality disorders can’t be changed - therapy just helps them hide it better!