Moving in together

Stay where you are true colours coming out.

I'm presuming that you agreed to let your daughter live rent free in your house until she finishes her studies?
If so, it would be very unfair to her to back out of that arrangement now.
It has nothing to do with the other two girls.

It would be a big mistake to move in with your partner, at the moment, and could well turn out to be a bad idea long-term too.

It really sounds as if she's trying to bully you.

Don’t move.
I have been in a similar situation, sold home which at that time was being rented out. Money got mixed in with other and later was at the mercy of other as had nowhere to go.
You and your family come first. When your daughter leaves I would rent and share the money after taxes and outgoing if you go and live elsewhere so that you can be always independent if the worst arrives.

Sorry, Shanavine but you are being gaslighted. You are being put in the wrong because you are not giving into pressure. The issue is not your refusal to be pressured, but about the fact that you are both coming to the relationship with families, and there is a need to sort out how to do the best for them in a way that makes both of you happy. Her way is not making you happy, so you need to find another way, not argue about your refusal to do as you are told.

May I ask again what your girlfriend plans to do financially to compensate your daughter for the fact that she is an only child coming into a family where there are two other daughters? In the ‘fair’ financial system your girlfriend is pushing for, will this mean that she gets twice as much or half as much as her own two (and where will they be living when you move in together)?

I don’t say this lightly, as this is not my relationship, but my advice is to read as much as you can about coercive control, and think about whether there are other red flags.

As others have said don't do this as it stands at the moment, get proper legal advice but personally I> would run a mile, partner sounds very controlling and you will never win against their kids!

A united GN thread says it all. Why on earth would you be asked to pull the rug out from under your DD and DGD's feet by this new partner? She will isolate you emotionally and financially, please do not sell your house.

I next days after could it has just happened that way.
My gf likes her daughters to be independent and feels mine still at 25 is reliant on me

Sorry my daughter not paying rent just happened that way.
We never discussed it

IF you move in together, you should agree on what each of you is to contribute to the costs.
What you do with the rest of your income & assets is up to you.

It's not reasonable for your partner to insist that all your assets be lumped together and then divided to suit what she thinks is fair to her daughters.

You need to protect yourself financially and to seek legal advice on the situation.
Your partner should do the same.

"My gf likes her daughters to be independent and feels mine still at 25 is reliant on me"

This is the missing piece to this puzzle

Whether she is right or not (this is a valid point) - you may not be as compatible as you think and this relationship's future is in danger.

She can disagree with tgee arrangement you have with your daughter but is NOT entitled to expect you to change that "because its unfair on HER daughter"!! It's your money. Why does she feel its unfair anyway? You are not asking her to contribute money to your daughter? OK it might limit your choices in buying as a couple but that is just the way it is at the moment and she is not entitled to dictate that you change! Relationships are about compromising and building something together...she appears not to get that! Big red flags for me too, I'm afraid!

how does she get to boss you around, and tell you what to do, and say you are an inadequate parent.
that doesn't sound very loving.
not even respectful.
if it's like this now, imagine how you would be dominated and belittled if you moved in.
don't do it.

has something happened to your confidence, that you have found yourself being treated like this, and not see clearly, as we all do, how wrong it is.

I know you don’t want to hear this...
Don’t try to reason or rationalise with her - she’s tying you (and your family) up in knots. This madness will only get worse.

She’s destructive and bad news.
Run now. Fast.

All I will say is what is your gut telling you. If you on here asking ppl for advice then that’s telling me. Correct me if I’m wrong but your having doubts already. I’ve lost my home by doing what you about to do. I sold my house which I bought when married to my ex hubby of 22yrs. It was a big thing for me to move in with someone. His place was smaller so it made sense well that’s what the love bug told me lol. Anyway cut a long story short. We lasted 4yrs. He still had his place and I had to move in with one of my sons when it ended until I got my place. Would I do it again no chance. Don’t give up your home for anyone.