I would be very careful what you say or do with regard to your daughter -in-law. Your post comes over as quite judgemental: my son does ALL the cooking; he continues to take the domestic load; the house is dirty; she is very overweight, the children are scruffy/grubby; just at the end you say she may be depressed.
Your son adores her; he is at home all the time so surely he is aware of the state of the house and children and can take action if need be. She may well be exhausted following covid, lockdown, home-schooling et al; she may have a job where she works three days a week but has work to do at home as well, or she may simply hate housework
.
If you speak to your son it may well get back to her, 'my mother says' and there won't be a happy outcome.
Observe by all means, and be prepared to help if asked, but I really don't think comments to either of them would help at this stage.
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