cher45
You have been brave and started the "ball rolling" before - so you know it is possible.
You also know that the promises never really materialised...
So maybe now is a good time. Look at this as a positive new start, it may feel scary but it IS possible.
I worked in refuge for some years and know that it often takes several "goes" to leave. You are not unusual in this. Don't be disheartened. There will have been other things in your life that will seem scary for a while and then looking back you can see you have survived and even grown in the doing of it.
Riding a bike, learning to swim, driving a car for the first time alone, new jobs, childbirth...
Take strength from the fact that many, many people do break free and live again. You can do it! You are more capable and stronger than you currently believe but you need not be alone in this as there IS support out there.
Good luck.