Do your husband have any say in what you wear?

nexus, i'm certainly not saying how could you. sounds great.
i'd do the same except i'm short and cannot sew. good on you.

sincere condolences on your recent loss.
it's like having to learn to live without a limb; it can be done, must, if one is to carry on, but throws one off balance, takes a great effort and life's never the same.

My late OH very occasionally passed a comment on my attire if he particularly liked or disliked something I wore. Out of courtesy, I would not wear something I knew he disliked if I was out with him but kept it for other times.

It worked two ways: he was very fond of a particular loud checked shirt which I absolutely hated. So he didn't wear it when we went out together.

I guess I could give it a try but he has bought me a top before which I did wear. However I felt uncomfortable and hated it. I didn't tel him though because I didn't want to hurt his feelings but he must know as I only wore it once.

I often ask my husbands opinion when choosing new clothes. But if he didn't like something and I loved it I would buy it anyway. It's just nice if he says Oh that looks lovely on you. I would not let him control what I wear. That's a different matter.
My husband has nice clothes but isn't great at putting an outfit together so I try to influence him without sounding critical if we're going out. But most times I think oh well if he feels nice dressed like that, it's his choice.
I was going to suggest maybe you have changed from when you first were together and then I saw MerylStreeps post and I remember the other thread. I think you need to have a good talk with your husband and tell him how you feel about his behaviour. You don't need anyone controlling you. Its your life and you are important. You are not secondary to your husband. Don't let him destroy your confidence.

MerylStreep

itsawelshthing
There seems to be a lot of controlling going on in your marriage.
I remember your post about choosing the decor in your new home.
It’s your choice, have your voice heard or succumb to your husbands wishes at every turn.
Your still a young woman, decide how you want the rest of your life with your husband to be.

We got past that stage in the end and I started saying what I liked and didn't like and he did take that on board. Tonight we had a discussion about decoration and I clearly told him about his choice of paint colour is not to my taste and he was OK about it. I am starting to come out with my own opinion and ideas now. About time!

I am starting to come out with my own opinion and ideas now. About time!

Itsawelshthing well done!

No.

I see men with their OHs giving their opinions in the womenswear sections and picking out clothes they think might suit and think "You wouldn't do for me".

DH occasionally says (with surprise) "Oh, you look nice, dear".

I usually remark that his shirt doesn't go with his trousers just as we're going out of the door.

Wearing jeans all the time is incredibly boring isn’t it? Am I the only woman in the country who fails to see the appeal of them ?
I think I probably am!

Although I am dead against any suggestion that a husband should dictate what his wife wears, couldn’t you meet him half way by perhaps trying on a few dresses to see what you think? There are styles these days to suit everyone, regardless of age, size etc.

If though ultimately you firmly decide that dresses aren’t for you, well fair enough but at least you tried.

When I was sixteen, I desperately fancied a lad at our local youth club. We did go out together a couple of times and I quickly discovered that he was actually a boring PITA and a bit of a control freak. He thought I was an outrageously outspoken hippie who would come to a bad end. We happily went our separate ways. He then dated and eventually married a girl who I'd been friends with at school but I lost touch after I left the area.

Thirty five years later, I happened to be back in the old home town and went into M&S. There they were, in the lingerie department, completely recognisable because he had a very distinctive voice and she looked exactly like her mother had in middle age. And yes, he was picking out items of underwear for her and gently rebuking her and putting back on the rail anything which she dared to choose which he didn't like. (No, darling. You know I don't like red and those pants aren't very attractive, are they?) Aaaaagh!
They didn't notice me staring and I snook away, thanking Providence for my lucky escape.

Mine is a typical nutty professor. He doesn’t care what he wears and hardly notices what I wear. Sometimes I suggest things for him to wear, especially if it is a more formal occasion. If I ask him if I look ok he always says I look lovely which is nice ! I could go out with a paper bag on, he wouldn’t notice .

It's a difficult one! Occasionally husband will say " that looks nice on you " He would never decide what I should wear. Most of the time he doesn't notice what I wear! If he were to start ' advising' me what to wear I would not be happy.

DH would think I was ill if I didn't make an effort.ie. wear something different everyday appropriate to what I will be doing each day, hair and make up done. At home time both of us wear very casual clothes and relax. I enjoy clothes and shopping and DH appreciates whatever I wear although I will say he doesn't always notice. Always well groomed himself but has no patience with or wish for anything expensive for himself.

Yes, jeans are boring, and rather ugly in my eyes, but if that’s what you want to wear, wear them. It’s nobody’s business but yours.

I get really angry if anyone tries to tell me what I should wear. One of my sons occasionally does. Grrrr…

Yes DH notices what I wear and is complimentary. When he says nothing it’s usually because he doesn’t like it, but he wouldn’t say unless asked.

KittyLester recommended Kettlewell clothes to me and now I am a ‘dedicated follower of fashion’ ! They are plain styles but in lovely colours. I like to see older women in bright colours, never beige ? They have a sale on at present I think I will just pop on their website.

I am noticing a division between people talking about husbands controlling what their wife wears and husbands who take an interest, especially an informed interest, in what their wife wears. Two very different concepts.

Ooooh, Kate, didn't know there was a sake on. I could be gone some time!

OH never really notices what I wear, or at least very rarely. Works well sometimes as I can buy new stuff and if he happens to notice, I can simply respond that I’ve had it for ages! Hair is a different matter. I had a short bob for years but during lockdown it got longish and I wore scrunchies. At my last hair appointment, my hairdresser suggested keeping the length, so I did. OH really likes it!

Just looked at the Kettlewell site, as a lover of colour in my wardrobe. I will be back. Don't need any clothes at the moment, but come the Autumn.......

My DH just says can you wear something that isnt black which is a running joke. I wear pinafore dresses and leggings to cover up my both knee replacement scars when I go out but indoors I just slop around in t shirts and shorts. DH slops around too so we are both not bothered unless we go to out to meet up with people. Oh and I pick his clothes and he dos'nt mind. I dont wear a bra indoors either I love the freedom without one.

Callistemon
We don’t have that problem because he always asks what am I wearing ?
He’s very good with suits, though but nearly always asks what shirt

Judging by your husbands comments he would like you to wear something more updated wouldn’t he, he’s saying it more than once, in fact he’s saying it several times, the thing is if you don’t feel comfortable dressing in the items he seems to like, then it’s more like a battle, he wants you to and you aren’t interested, some people love clothes me being one of them, so I love wearing what I term as nice clothes, my husband will always comment and say that looks nice, if I liked something and my husband didn’t I would still wear it as I’m my own person, I dress for myself not anyone else, I’m not into frilly tops either op,

I actually remember one of your other posts itsawelshthing about your new home, which I commented on, wow your husband does like to take control, I’d be sitting down and having a few words with him, reading your home post, I think you need to be more assertive, good luck love x

I certainly have a say in what my husband wears and for anything special we shop together so it’s fair enough when he comments on my clothing or makes suggestions.

No I wear exactly what I like, I think he quite likes that I still wear quirky colourful clothes, and I don’t think he’d like it very much if I suddenly decided to start acquiring a more ‘mature’ wardrobe. But if that’s what I wanted to do, I would do it.
Having said that, I once took a dress back to Dorothy Perkins because he said I reminded him of one of his old aunties, that was about 45 years ago!

Sago

I certainly have a say in what my husband wears and for anything special we shop together so it’s fair enough when he comments on my clothing or makes suggestions.

Me too within reason. As I said we have to look at each other and feel happy to be seen together. If my OH went out in a football shirt for example I’d chop his legs off. Standards darling standards ???