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Do your husband have any say in what you wear?

(102 Posts)
Itsawelshthing Fri 16-Jul-21 19:56:52

Probably comes across random but my husband and I have completely different tastes in clothes which is fine, I couldn't care less what he wears really. I am more of a casual wearer ie. jeans, a plain top with a few patterns on it maybe, and a cardigan to throw on if I feel a bit chilly and a simple maxi dress if it's warm outside. I am always hygienic, my hair is neat and tidy, I honestly like to keep plain and simple and have always been like that. I am not into frilly blouses or chiffon tops or them posh dresses. They look lovely but they're just not for me. My husband seems to always comment on what I wear, saying that am I really wearing this/that when we're about to head out, to which I say yes so what? Then he says I need to really get an updated wardrobe hmm and when we go shopping and end up in the clothe aisle, he is always looking at the woman's section saying I would look nice in this and that and I just thought, FGS I only came here to get some milk! How did we end up in the clothing aisle lol! I think he must be ashamed of what I wear or he is bored of me. I remember when single life is much easier and more independent grin

timetogo2016 Sat 17-Jul-21 08:58:41

Nope.
I wouldn`t take any notice anyway,i like to feel comfortable and if i look a bit shabby so be it.

SuzieHi Sat 17-Jul-21 09:21:07

Maybe add a new item from the clothes aisle- what’s the harm? If he points to one you don’t like, you can say ‘nice but not for me’ then find one you do like. Maybe go to the men’s aisle next and choose for him too?
I find with any relationship it’s about ‘give and take’ - if you’re rude /offhand/disregard others opinion they’re likely to be the same to you? He’s showing interest in your appearance which is better than no interest surely?

Cabbie21 Sat 17-Jul-21 09:36:11

I would faint with shock if my husband commented on what I wear.
On the other hand, it is good to dress up just a little bit when you go out together.
My DH always wears a long sleeved shirt( sleeves rolled up in summer), proper trousers, jumper if chilly, jacket if going anywhere. He has no other clothes, nothing informal, no T shirts, polo necks, jeans, nothing different even on holiday. I have given up making suggestions. He is so boring.
Maybe this is how the oP’s husband feels?

lemsip Sat 17-Jul-21 09:42:55

I am appalled with men in the bra/knicker dept in M&S with wives/partners choosing and feeling the underwear. they should have a man free day in my opinion for me.

Callistemon Sat 17-Jul-21 09:51:56

Cabbie my DH has never worn a pair of jeans in his life.
I couldn't trust him with colour co-ordination either.

He does have some short sleeved shirts, courtesy of me, one or two are rather modern but not flash but I can tell he gets a bit anxious if I suggest wearing one! grin

Sara1954 Sat 17-Jul-21 10:02:04

My husband quite likes clothes, and favours a little Italian shop where the clothes are very stylish.
They like to insult him about his expanding waistline, but he doesn’t mind.
Every day of his working life is black jeans and a black polo shirt, so I think some of our customers might be surprised to see him out on the weekend.

Millie22 Sat 17-Jul-21 10:37:04

lemsip
You're so right about m&s. I was looking at some underwear one day and I overheard a man say to his wife 'why don't you buy something like that'. I felt awkward and moved away until they had gone. As far as underwear is concerned it should always be a personal choice.

MissAdventure Sat 17-Jul-21 12:14:35

I don't see anything wrong in trying to please your partner every now and then.

nadateturbe Sat 17-Jul-21 14:34:22

The first time we went to the theatre OH had been wearing denim jeans and denim shirt all day. He said he was going upstairs to get ready, and came down with his denim shirt tucked in. That was what getting ready amounted to. I couldn't believe it.

GrannyGravy13 Sat 17-Jul-21 15:24:59

Absolutely no, my body, I choose what goes in it and on it, end of.

On the other hand I do advise DH, otherwise the only things he wore that matched would be his socks, and I put them in pairs when I do the laundry ????

M0nica Sat 17-Jul-21 15:30:35

Why are people so iffy about men being with you, or anyone else when buying underwear? If your DH suggests something you do not like, ignore him or just say 'no', or only if you pay for them! As MisAdventure says, your partner/DH is meant to be someone you love and are happy to be with and that includes wanting to please each other.

My DH has a phobia about buttons so there are no buttons on my nightwear and I generally avoid big obvious buttons on clothes. and I only ask him to do a button up in extreme conditions.

Having a man with you doesn't mean he is coercing you or even pushing you to buy sexy underwear he likes but you do not. I see it as an extra pair of eyes, someone who knows your tastes in knickers and can help you search the racks for the one and only pair in stock in the size and colour you want that has been put back on the wrong rail.

Rosalyn69 Sat 17-Jul-21 15:37:49

Simply - no

Hithere Sat 17-Jul-21 15:59:21

Monica
I see what you mean.

There is a fine line between taking your partners preferences into account vs doing it because he/she likes it but it would not be your choice

Of course, your partner telling you what to wear is controlling.

My dh and I ask each other if we like this or that and we make recommendations

If he buys something I told him "no, it's not my taste", no biggie at all.
His body his choice
Same with haircuts, hobbies, etc.
I love the person he is and I dont try to mold him to my liking

kittylester Sat 17-Jul-21 16:03:02

M0nica

I am noticing a division between people talking about husbands controlling what their wife wears and husbands who take an interest, especially an informed interest, in what their wife wears. Two very different concepts.

Quite MOnica.

Kate1949 Sat 17-Jul-21 16:08:34

No. He would never buy me anything to wear either, whether clothing or underwear. Quite frankly, as he admits himself, he hasn't got a clue.
I buy him shirts, tee-shirts etc for Christmas and birthdays and he usually likes them. He is slim and (annoyingly) looks good in anything.

Skydancer Sat 17-Jul-21 16:21:27

I doubt if my DH even notices what I wear as he never comments on anything. Fortunately I have a DD who, if I get something terribly wrong (in her opinion) tells me about it. I do find that's one useful thing about daughters. She keeps me on my toes. However I must say I do have a say in what my DH wears.

foxie48 Sat 17-Jul-21 16:27:17

If we are going out or I have bought something new I always ask his opinion. Sometimes I buy something and wonder if it's a bit "young" for me but if I get OH's approval then I'm fine and it stops me getting into a rut. He is quite lazy with clothes, likes casual things, he's tall and quite slim with very long legs, so the only thing I'd tell him about is trouser length as he used to have the odd pair that were just a tad too short! I have spent the last 20 years trying to get him to have a really good bespoke suit made for the rare occasions that he needs to wear one but to no avail. I know he likes me to look nice and he always makes a nice comment tbh he's a bit of a sweetie!

welbeck Sat 17-Jul-21 16:38:41

lemsip

I am appalled with men in the bra/knicker dept in M&S with wives/partners choosing and feeling the underwear. they should have a man free day in my opinion for me.

maybe they are purchasing for their own use ?

MerylStreep Sat 17-Jul-21 16:39:20

Skydancer
I have more than a say: I buy them ?

welbeck Sat 17-Jul-21 16:46:57

times have changed.
my father used to have a suit made very so often, with the exact same pattern and cloth. i urged some variety, but no.
he didn't use it for work, and rarely wore it.
my brother bought a suit for his wedding 25 years ago, he never had one before or since.
most men never wear a tie at work now, that's changed in the last 25 years. so lots of dress ideas are more fluid now, which is good.

Callistemon Sat 17-Jul-21 16:53:09

MerylStreep

Skydancer
I have more than a say: I buy them ?

Me too!

M0nica Sat 17-Jul-21 17:51:05

I leave DH to buy his own clothes. I am his wife. not his valet.

Its not that his taste is bad, just that it is comfortable and that is all that matters. Providing he dresses appropriately when the occasion demands - and he does - , why should I try to make him wear clothes he doesn't like.

welbeck Sat 17-Jul-21 17:58:20

actually i used to like buying clothes for my menfolk.
i had a relative who never did, and it shewed; her men looked shabby, because they didn't bother, wore same clothes til they literally fell apart.
she was a much more self-possessed person than i am; successful, professional career, more grown-up altogether.
perhaps i am more childish; it pleased me to buy something nice for them, and they looked good.
i knew what would suit them, moreso than for myself.
that's all gone now.
i still have their clothes, and will eventually wear them, some as nightwear, being too big.

Callistemon Sat 17-Jul-21 18:14:24

Providing he dresses appropriately when the occasion demands - and he does - , why should I try to make him wear clothes he doesn't like.

Generally I buy DH clothes that I know he likes , M0nica and sometimes buy him something just a bit different that he would never have known he liked had I not bought it it!

Otherwise he might be wearing 30 year old jumpers and ancient seen-better-days trousers.
If I buy him a new item he throws one old one out.

lemongrove Sat 17-Jul-21 18:26:19

The same here Callistemon in fact many of the things I have bought for him over the years are styles and colours he would never have thought of, but really likes. For instance...he wears cords in Autumn/ Winter but left to himself chooses green/tobacco/ dark brown/ sludge, and I bought him some
Dark blue ones and some Mulberry coloured ones last year and he loves them!
For myself, he has no input in anything I buy at all and I can only think of two items he didn’t like on me, in all our years of marriage.