I have been married for 37yrs this year. It has always been a rocky marriage. DH was raised by a drunk dad and paranoid schizophrenic mum. It rubs off. He has always thought I was having afffairs behind his back. I never ever have. These past 3 years have been horrendous and after a really bad episode of accusations and blame for everything that is wrong in his life I told him that the next time he blames me for everything I was leaving. It settled down for a while then reared up again. Same old abuse, different day and I left. I know it was definitely the right thing to do but it's also very hard. I have been accepted onto the housing register and I have applied for a little bungalow so fingers crossed I hear something soon. I just feel like a failure and at 56 I am starting all over again. I know I couldn't stay in the very abusive and sometimes terrifying situation but it is so hard. We do own the house he's still in and I know it will have to be sold but I also know he will drag it out for as long as possible. It is what it is. I am claiming universal credit now and they have assured me I will get housing benefit until my home is sold. I do have a son and daughter who support my decision but I don't want to upset their family lives so as far a they're concerned I'm fine. I'm not. But I will be. Sorry for the long post think I just needed a rant ?
Just caught up with your news Deedee that's absolutely brilliant I'm so pleased for you. Your own haven of peace and quiet. I wish you well for the future.
Well done DeeDee fantastic news, wishing you all the very best for the future, you made a decision and carried it out, so pleased you got your bungalow, you are about to enter a new happier phase in your life, you deserve to be happy
Thank you everyone. I've had a phone call today to say that the keys have now been handed in to the housing department(the council have been in and painted etc) and I am getting a call tomorrow to arrange a viewing. I asked her to let them know I definitely want it and would they bring the paperwork for me to sign. She said yes they can do that. Hopefully by the end of this week it will be mine. So excited even though it's a little bit scary!! Oh and she said that they can fit window alarms etc if I want them to because of the circumstances. It's been very quiet that end so hopefully he leaves me alone.
Aaaw thank you all...I really can't wait to have my own front door,and a bed ?. Plus I have always been childcare for my grandkids but obviously because of covid lockdowns and whats happening now I haven't had them. My granddaughter is the eldest, 9yrs old, and I have looked after her since she was 6 months old. I went to see her the other day and she is so excited to stay at Nanas new house and I can't wait either. She's going to help me decorate apparently ?
Congratulations Deedee6969 so happy for your new start! So pleased for you about your new home! Here's to your new peaceful and relaxing home and the start of the rest of your life!
Just a little update...I have my keys eeeek. I am trying to organise carpets to go in now asap, I want to get in. But ive waited this long I can wait a little longer. I have ordered a sofa, fridge freezer, bed and a few other bits on buy now pay in 12 months as I have a very account which I owed nothing on so it has really come in handy. I'm not bothered if all I have are the basics to start. I did visit a couple of charity shops and picked up some lovely little bits for my bathroom and living room. The living room has an electric fire and surround in already so I think it will be really cosy in the evenings. I met a couple of my new neighbours too and they are lovely which put me at ease straight away. I did begin to doubt myself after I'd signed for the bungalow and had a bit of a cry to myself because it is a hard thing to do starting again after all these years but then I shook it off and told myself how lucky I am to actually have my own keys to MY home in such a short time. All the authorities I have had to deal with have been amazing. And if I can do it then anyone can. Just have faith in yourself and if my writing about my experience helps someone else that's a massive plus. Anyway I'm off carpet shopping with my daughter soon so fingers crossed I can be in and settled, reading my book on my comfy sofa in my cosy little bungalow very soon xx
Thank you for posting an update deedee6969. It is normal to doubt when leaving behind a life you can no longer live and stepping out of what was your comfort zone. Well done for getting sorted and taking steps further to move in. Everything has fallen in to place for you because it is meant to be. Good luck.
So lovely to read your updates deedee, thank you for that, when you have so much on your mind.
Every good wish for this new chapter in your life. I imagine your DC are really proud of you. Wishing you every happiness in your lovely, cosy home.
PS Do you EBay? There are often bargains to be had there. You could start small to get used to it. We have had a lovely dining suite from EBay, some great garden furniture and some lovely light fittings.
Congratulations on your very own home deedee. I'm sure you'll get so much pleasure in gradually making it lovely and to your taste. Your little sanctuary.
You can also find good bargains on FB marketplace, if you or a family member is on there. You have done so well, you must give hope to others.