Older child sleeping with mum

It doesn’t say she s 7 doidlebug I queried it as it’s more behaviour associated with 7 and as there are other mistakes in the post maybe the number ‘1’ got in my accident
You also query that it seemed odd behaviour for a 17 year old doodlebug !
I don’t care what relationship this person is in but it’s all very unclear and it s so much easier to answer someone when you can get the picture in your head of who is who and what is what
It wasn’t a criticism

There could be some other factors OP is unaware of.

It is none of her business anyway

Yes my partner

Rude

What is rude ? Posters have asked for more explanation that’s all

This is the dad. All sounds unusual.Is she 17 or 7?

Shanavine

Rude

Not very helpful Shanavine especially when members are trying to understand and to be helpful

Weird thread !

It very much sounds to me as if Shanavine resents how much time the SO's daughter needs, eating into the time he(?) gets with his partner.

Unfortunately, it sounds as if the daughter needs the support of her mum. So Shanavine, you can stay and tolerate it, trying your best to add no extra stress to the daughter. If you cause any of the stress already, OR if you add to it by being pushy or resentful, it sounds as if it'll just push your partner further away from you.

Or of course, you can leave. If you really can't bear to tolerate it. Because since you're not the father, you don't get a say in how the mother acts.

But far far from normal for a teenager
By 17 mine were practically tucking me up on their way out

BlueBelle

My SIL was a very poor sleeper and she would go in with her mum a lot and her poor dad would go through to her bed.She did this until she was nearly 20.She has suffered from awful anxiety all her life and is now in her 60's and still panics about even the smallest things.She cant make a decision quickly even choosing a lampshade can take months! We think if she's had treatment in her teens she would have had an easier life.Your OH's daughter may wellneed some help with the underlying cause of her anxiety.Dont be annoyed,HELP her .

That's

Shanavine

That's

???
Posted too soon?

“That’s all folks “??

No I don’t think it is normal. Its keeping track of teenagers that’s more the norm. Not helping the girl.

This isn’t just about the daughter but about the SO mother who lets and encourages this to happen. I think the poster needs to talk to their SO to get a clearer picture of what is going on here. Sounds like mother and daughter have possible issues.

Shanavane as some others have said, it's not the behaviour or your average teen. But she does sound anxious.
What does your SO say about this?

Or = of

She is very attached to her mum.
Only natural I guess get dad left 6yrs ago.
Still lives locally and see her.
But they tend to sleep together at least twice a week .
And she will wake us up if she can't sleep, even if it's a small thing like, it's too hot.
She is no way a drama queen.
Had a boyfriend etc all the normal teenage stuff.

Shanavine

May I ask how their sleeping arrangement affects you and your life?

It is unusual, to each their own

could you encourage her to look for another boyfriend?

Janejudge???
Oh I m still muddled up are you the mothers partner and resent the fact that the girl sleeps in the mums bed twice a week when you believe the mum should be with you ?
Do you all live together ?
Could she be jealous because it really isn’t normal for a 17 year old to wake her mum up if she’s too hot
Anyway I m sure she ll be up and away soon and then she can wake her boyfriend up to tell him she’s too hot or too cold and you can have the mum all to yourself Sounds dreadfully weird
to me

Anyway in answer to your original question no it’s not really normal for a 17 year old to need tucking up, to need reassuring the boogeyman’s not under her bed, or to wake her mum up to tell her she’s too hot or too cold not normal at all
She s either mentally poorly with anxiety or she’s a Princess who wants loads of attention or she’s jealous of you being in bed with her mum

She only sleep with her when I'm not there
And I don't resent it at all.
Just does not appear normal to me.
That is all I was asking .
Instead I get I'm jealous etc.
I would happily leave the bed and let them girl in with her mum if she needed it.
I'm not a resentful type.
I am still raising my own kids to a degree.
Albeit granddaughter

I did not say YOU were jealous shanavine I meant maybe the 17 year old is jealous
But …
it’s not that and that’s fair enough but you say she’s a well balanced girl with no issues or health problems so my answer would be
No that’s not natural for a well balanced 17 year old with no issues in my opinion

Perhaps Shanavine could explain why this 17 year old has to be tucked up and told no-one will break in and kill her every night. It’s not normal for a 17 year old to need that. Has she experienced some trauma which has made this routine necessary before she can sleep?