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If you wrote down what you look for in a partner, what would it say

(55 Posts)
Neen Fri 24-Sep-21 21:31:44

I'm absolutely not looking and finally found me and what I like/ don't and also I don't have to say yes to everything etc Im 54 and have some healthy boundaries and begining to be on the path I should have been on a long time ago but I hadn't learnt yet what I was meant to. I ignored so many red flags in my time, that I am now really good at spotting them and a friend said to me yesterday, what would you look for in a man in a year or two when your ready. I said I wouldn't ! But after I thought about it. If I did write down my thoughts, it would be : older than me, strong/ happy in who he is as a person, uses humbly the wisdom he's learnt, arty, grateful for small blessings,
Someone who accepts you-to not later want to change you, not a heavy drinker /smoker, enjoys walks and finding a little gem of a nature place, funny, kind, strong in boundaries and has self care, listens to hear, enjoys cake and cuppas, knows how to be calm and respond not react, someone whose smile is genuine and who takes his time. Who doesn't mind me doing Claire's and Sarah's law as I've 5 Grandchildren. Someone who likes tranquil, not loud noise. Someone who has a calming voice to listen to. A Christian man strong in his faith, someone who likes to give back, who has his own friends and space.

Over to you ..
Still not interested but does make me realise wow.
It's good knowing yourself better as you age ?

Liz46 Mon 27-Sep-21 10:05:18

It's funny that spiders were mentioned. My OH spent 25 years in the forces but when a large spider ran between us and down behind the cushions, he did not rescue me. He just screamed and did nothing.

I think the taxpayers should ask for their money back!

gulligranny Mon 27-Sep-21 10:12:18

I remember these words of wisdom:

What a woman needs is a man who will be kind, caring and sensitive to her every mood. She needs a man who will be strong and manly, who will defend her to the death and ensure her physical well-being in every way. A man who is intellectual, clever, enjoys books, plays, music and the finer things in life.

And most of all, what a woman needs is that these three men never meet each other ...

M0nica Wed 29-Sep-21 08:24:56

Were I back and looking again, and that is thankfully unlikely. My criteria wouldn't change he, whoever he may be, must be a non-smoker and tidy. The rest would be entirely negotiable, although this time round, I would check the tidiness factor more carefully.

On the other hand, had I rejected DH because he is terminally untidy, what a wonderful life I would have missed and a wonderful companion and love, not to mention the specific children and grandchildren that resulted for our union.

I think it is best to keep an open mind. Remember, if we find the perfect man, he will probably reject you because you do not meet his criteria for the perfect woman (and he would probably be a deasd bore).

TerriBull Wed 29-Sep-21 10:19:26

Kind, affectionate, supportive, moral, honest, sense of humour, clean, non smoker, intelligent, interesting conversationalist, love of history, a reader. I consider myself lucky my husband has all those qualities. The only areas where we differ, I have no interest in sport, particularly his hobby golf. I also do 99% of the cooking but that's okay because he's a good clearer upper!