Struggling to feel any joy

Im touched by all these replies and am so grateful to you all.
Theres some great advise here and thanks for the hugs too. Im making a plan things on my list are
make arrangements to see Grandson more frequently
keep up with my daily walks which I love and so does my dog lol
Try meditation and breathing techniques. consider anti depressants
Try to find a hobby I enjoy
Keep reading
Make lists of things I would like to do and plan ahead
Never turn down an invite

Im thinking Im already talking to lots of dog walkers so thats very good as Im isolated working from home. Ive made a new dog walking friend and we walk together on these dark nights for safety. She is going to a halloween thing today and it was a stark reminder that people are now doing things again lol. Im still in lockdown mode as its suited me working from home and only going out with the dog. All my shopping is delivered as I struggle to get in shops with my issues. Ive had a thought, the little pub in my village allow dogs in so was thinking of asking friend if we should call in with dogs but Im so worried it will cause me a melt down as so often happens in social situations and then I will beat myself up for putting myself in that situation, what do you all think ? Thanks in advance xx

It's a great idea, but why not choose a sunny day and sit at an outside table at the pub with your friend and the dogs as a first visit?
Then you'd only have to go inside to order drinks or use the toilet. You can acclimatise gradually.

It’s a great idea and well done for thinking of it. I expect the pub isn’t very busy during the day, other than lunchtime, so perhaps at first just pop in for a coffee with your friend and the dogs? You sound like you’re really starting to look forward. Working from home is very isolating so little opportunities to get out will help you. I don’t like crowds either so I get that. Let your dog help you open a few doors, they’re very good at that! Good luck!

Thankyou all <3 the only problem I have is we dont have day times. My friend works 9-5 Mon to Fri as do most people lol and I do 10 hour shifts Sat and Sun then work 3 other afternoon into evening shifts. Thats a barrier to coordinating things with others especially my DD and GS. Im going to really think over next few days as to what I can do to make myself happier xx

Just to add its years since Ive been in a pub except my DD hen do which made me really poorly afterwards due to my anxiety and its months and months since I went in any shops so it will be quite a big thing lol xx

Would it be possible to pop into the pub early evening mid-week when it’s less likely to be busy?

This is probably a daft question but is it remotely possible for you to change one of the long weekend shifts? Maybe swap with someone, even if just occasionally? Sorry, I’m sure you’ve thought of that already. But if your hours could fit in with your daughter/grandchild/friend sometimes that would make a huge difference wouldn’t it? Or even maybe invite your friend round for a coffee after one of your walks?

Thankyou Germanshepherdsmum your posts have been very helpful. the weekend shifts pay an enhanced rate so going forward with the divorce they are ideal. But I will see about using some annual leave if I have enough left. I will ask my dog walking friend if she can do an early teatime, only issue is on my days off she stays over at her Mums house as she works in Hull both those days. Honestly these unsocial hours I work lol. I do enjoy my friends popping in for coffee but not when my soon to be ex is around but thats something to look forward to in the future too xx

Isn’t it just! Been there, done that! You will have much more freedom then.

I think there's no need to force yourself into an indoor situation, if you don't want to.
It's great that you have dog-walking friends and, as someone already suggested, I think it'd be a good idea to ask your friend to the pub to sit outside.

It’s decided then it’s the pub outside as a first step
Something to get a little bit dressed up for, for a change lol xx

Sounds like a plan ceejayjay ?

Just spoke with my dog walking pal and she is up for the pub hehe. I’m trying to think of a hobbie I might enjoy. They do a knit and natter at said pub but only the nattering is my cup of tea lol xx

They probably do more nattering than knitting so don’t let that put you off! And someone would be pleased to help you out, perhaps a scarf for something useful and not too challenging or squares from oddments of wool which can be sewn together for a throw. Have you thought about family history for a hobby? Lots can be done online and it’s very absorbing. I’m so pleased you’re looking forwards now!

Hang in there deejay and remember you are not alone in this. Can you drop back a bit of your work for something you would really like to do ? Some ‘me’ time ? Preferably involving someone you can have a good yack with! Even morning coffees regularly or something social - book group, craft activity, keep fit, dancing etc. All the very best to you.

Outdoor activities have helped me with my depression. Nature is a healer. I would suggest looking at the website of the Wildlife Trust near where you live. There is one in every county. They often have outdoor group activities such as walks in the woods and you don't have to be a member to join in with things. We recently went on a walk through the woods at dusk with an experienced guide where we heard the calls of owls and the guide explained what trees the silhouettes were. We could hear the stream running past. It was fabulous in the dark. We've also been on a fungal foray and a dawn chorus walk. You don't have to be knowledgeable at all - there will be a guide to explain things. You can chat to people or not. I love these types of things. The National Trust is also good and if you look up the website of one of their properties near you, you'll find a lot going on. Most of this is so cheap or free. A lot of the time dogs are allowed too.

Skydancer that’s brilliant nature is a passion of mine and I’ve recently gone all cruelty free & vegan will take a look Thankyou xx

Little update

Ive 2 things in my diary

A Christmas meal on 15th Dec with a friend who knows all about my issues and will help me feel relaxed being out and about. Also a meal with same friend for my 50th in Jan.

Ive checked out National Trust and excited to visit a local spot when I can coordinate with someone who wants to go with me.

Ive also put in a request at work to change one possibly two working days over so I can plan things with DD and Grandson through the week.

Me and my dog walking friend will be visiting the village pub soon as Ive spoken to a lady who goes in to see what its like.

Also on the hobbies front going to try out some vegan recipes having recently gone vegan.

Keep your ideas coming as I really appreciate them all and they are so helpful xx

That’s wonderful. You sound like a different person already! Thanks so much for coming back and do check in to let your mates here know how it’s going. One thing I thought of, if you have any NT properties nearby, they welcome volunteers with open arms, inside or in the gardens (no experience needed).

Another great idea Germanshepherdsmum

Im a bit nervous to get out there but its neccesary if I am to start living again. The ideas here have been my starting point and hope to get some more x

That's wonderful news ceejayjay.

Are there any adult education classes near you? Maybe you could find a vegan cookery course you can go to? Have a look at the U3A in your area, they might have a group for it.

Work are letting me switch a day starting week after next. Me & DD & GS already got plans for our first day off together. With our dogs too

Havnt made it to the pub yet or got round to finding out about any courses in my area but I’m going to see what’s on when I’ve got a bit of time. Seen a few friends at mine for coffee this week and it’s surprising what a boost that gives you isn’t it xx

It really is *ceejayjay".
I'm so glad to hear things are going better for you.

Really good news! So pleased. You’re doing really well.?