Is my husband unreasonable

? words fail me…… But rant away I am sure you will get lots of good advice…

in a word, yes.
catman and i have managed an up and down 43 years but he is always considerate of my feelings.
maybe your husband needs a reminder that marriage is a give and take partnership

what do you mean when you say, my living room carpet.
do you each have a living room.

Do you actually want to stay with this man? I wonder whether your annoyance at what he does, plus his evident lack of consideration for your requests, is symptomatic of something more?

I was wondering that wellbeck if you share a house and share finances I guess it’s his carpet as much as yours again if it’s your car only then yes whats he doing in it ? tell him what is and isn’t acceptable or hide the keys To vape in his own car but if these are shared things you have to work out the dos and donts and if you haven’t worked them out in 45 years I can’t see much hope in succeeding now

I'm with shinaemae.

Good luck. But I don’t hold out a lot of hope at this stage

Oh dear. I’m off to pick up my mucky gardening shoes from the hall and my phone and I pad charging on his sofa.?

It sounds as if your 45 years of being together on a "rocky road" is the real issue heregrannymags so perhaps the least little thing is annoying you.

Muddy shoes in the hall; Mr. S. does that time and leaves them on the floor when the shoe rack would be preferable, despite always being asked not top.

Were the power tools dirty? I can see why that would be annoying on the living room when there must be a better place to charge them.

I agree about the vaping in your car if you don't vape. IMO he's being thoughtless rather than unreasonable so I hope you'll be able to have a chat about these things, but be prepared as he'll probably have a few niggles of his own.

My husband complained this morning about my plan to bring the keyboard from his old computer to electric recycling- he said he doesn't dispose of my stuff! Not sure how he planned to use it, but if I didn't get rid of stuff sometimes we'd be buried in old junk.
Every now and then I nag about mud tracked all over house, but has little effect. Fortunately I'm not house proud.

There will be some readers who would say you’re so lucky to have a husband to leave his tools and shoes around. I’m pleased I have mine. We all have annoying habits and none of us is perfect. I’m sure he has his good points too, not least using those tools around the place??

He’d be unreasonable in this house because that’s not how we behave. As you’ve had 45 years, unless he’s suddenly started behaving like this, it’s a bit late to change him.

I am not a slave to the house with everything in its place but I like a clean house. My husband goes two mins over the road with the dog comes back in and treads mud everywhere. It drives me mad he also lets the dog shake mud all over the place. I have given up telling him to change out of his boots and keep the dog in its bed when wet. I think that the more I nag my husband the more he pretends not to hear me. I refused to paint the entrance hall last year because of muddy splashes. My husband can't decorate so he paid for it to be decorated. That suited me one less job to do

The issues you are having with each other seem to be caused by the lack of boundaries that couples normally sort out in the first couple of years together. How in heavens name are you still having spats over such minor stuff after 45 years? Have you never sat down and found common ground on anything ever?

Also, is the hallway not the right place for muddy shoes? It's not as though he's putting them on the kitchen worktop. You can barely cross our hallway for muddy boots, dog leads, balls, tools, bags, torches, coats, boxes of apples, post, sacks of potatoes, hats, and all our other sundry crap essential items.

We need a post from DH with his list of relationship gripes.

I expect he has a few to tell. None of us are perfect.

Muddy shoes seems to be a common problem. It is in this house too. I ask Mr M to wipe his feet regularly, but he can’t be bothered forgets. But he cleans my car out beautifully, cooks delicious meals, pops out to the shops when I discover that a vital ingredient for my baking is missing, looks after the garden very well and and and. He also has some irritating habits but that’s life.
grannymags does your husband have some helpful habits too?

Has he got somewhere else he could charge the power tools? Though storming off a bit over the top. Wouldn't be annoyed about mucky shoes left in hall at least its not the kitchen, living room or bedroom where you really don't want dirt. Can see your point about vaping in your car though.
Do you have any faults he gets annoyed with?

After reading these comments I have to say that my DH is very well housetrained.

I suppose you could always unplug them and plug them in somewhere else.

I charge some of my power tool batteries in the kitchen.

This man is not showing alot of consideration, especially if he’s not the one doing the housework. And vaping in your car after being asked not to….heck no!!!! There must be other places to charge his tools, living room - another no from me.

He is unreasonable. But if you get to the point of asking.....Do you have to breathe like that... it means you are doomed to part company

I think you just wanted to vent. I don't know the answer but I think I understand how you are feeling. Seemingly petty complaints but they add up and it just becomes ugly. He doesn't think he needs to change and I wonder if you're looking at your life and thinking it's only going to get worse and you don't get a do-over. I'm sorry.

Of course he is being unreasonable. We are all unreasonable at times. If you have been together 45 years he must have some good points.
I shouted at mine yesterday because I didn’t think he was caring enough when I was coughing. He should have been running about getting me drinks of water instead of asking me if I was all right.

You are the one who has to decide if his unreasonableness is something you can no longer put up with.
There are some on here who would rather have an unreasonable DH than none at all.

To be quite blunt your lucky you still have a husband there are those of us who have lost ours!