Older husband - how big a consideration should early widowhood or caring duties be?

Maybee70, that happens a lot. Up to the individual if you would like/wish a new relationship but I don't understand why so many people do not make/update their wills. The other thing is in certain occupations, if you remarry, you then lose your husbands occupational pension. This is why a widowed friend of mine did not marry her new partner, she would have lost the part she received of her first husbands occupational pension. An antiquated and outdated attitude, but it stands. God forbid if anything happened to my OH. I will not be bothering with anyone else. To my mind it's a minefield legally. The little I have will be for my adult children and grandchild- nobody else. Ive known people in second marriages who have been very happy, but Ive known others that have been complete disasters.

I am 59, my husband is 83. We have been married for 33 years and it is first marriage for both of us.

Biggest regret, I wish we had more children. I was worried about the possibility of being a young widow with little ones, so we only have one daughter.

Despite the age gap, we have spent a lot of time together. After he retired, he decided to open an internet business selling high end collectibles, so I was busy helping him set it up in my spare time, the website was quite successful and kept us very busy.

I was lucky that my husband is still in relatively good health. I did not have to cut short my full time career, stay at home and look after him, which enables me to retire early sometime next year with a company pension at a time when he will be requiring more and more support from me.

The main issue now is travel, before the pandemic, we have to go on a 15 hours direct flight to see my family on the other side of the world, we also have a second property there, I am not sure how much longer my husband can make this journey.

If anything happens to my husband, I will be devastated. I will not be involved with another man; second relationship seems too complicated and too much drama for me.

My daughter is in her early thirties, her partner same age as her, she told me she will never consider an older guy.

I, on the other hand, always advise her to be self sufficient and not be dependent on any man for money.

A friend married a man 15 years her senior. For the last 10 years he had Alzheimers, but that is a progressive disease, and only for the last few years was she his carer. He died when she was 70 and they had been married nearly 50 years, brought up three children, launched them into the world and had grand children they both enjoyed.

I do not think she has ever regretted marrying an older man