My daughter is distancing from me

It seems you are putting your daughter under pressure by being too needy, sorry if that’s harsh but unless you get a grip you risk losing her altogether. Stop contacting her so often and try making friends of your own so she’s not the centre of your life.

Maybe the divorce affected her and she is dealing with it?

Funny thing is she's not. I have a new partner....
I don't understand why she's fine from being needy to nothing.
Like she used to say good morning, good night and now nothing.
That was more her then me, I just can't figure out why.

She's estranged from her father. It was very difficult, I sacrificed so much for her and she appreciates that.
I don't understand why I'm being punished.

When a person changes his/her behaviour, there is a reason for it.

I am sure something happened that impacted her - sorry I cannot be of more help

Also when somebody reduces contact, it is to protect themselves, not to punish the other party

Hithere

When a person changes his/her behaviour, there is a reason for it.

I am sure something happened that impacted her - sorry I cannot be of more help

Yes, I need to ask her why this is
I think she resents me for caring so much. Sounds daft but I do.
Like if she's away I like to touch base to know she's safe. But I think she resents that. I hate the fact it's just me and her because she feels that pressure but there's not much I can do about that.

Hithere

Also when somebody reduces contact, it is to protect themselves, not to punish the other party

That's interesting...

I can understand her resenting you for caring so much- it may come across as smothering and infantilizing her

It's strange because her panic attack happened when we were out of the country and she needed us...

Maybe she realized the panic attack was not healthy?

I am sure there is so much background not written here that inputs in this situation

Hithere

Maybe she realized the panic attack was not healthy?

I am sure there is so much background not written here that inputs in this situation

Possibly....but like I say are very close. So I thought. Talked each day. Then this last week nothing.
I felt very worthless to be honest, rejected. I haven't told her that of course.

Very close could mean enmeshed - not saying it is your case.

Every single thing you post is about how much you care and how close you are, and it does some across as a bit obsessive (sorry, not meant to be nasty at all)

She's turned off her wassap so I can't see when she was last online, says it's an infringement of her privacy.
She spent a day with friends last Sunday so must have been talking to them, things changed overnight. Hey friends aren't close to their mum's.
But....I have to say she has had so much support from myself and partner the last two years. Financial and emotional she says she couldn't have done what's she done without us, soon very a bit used too it's like I've got where I need to be now leave me.

Your comments indicate she may feel responsible for you

Give her time - relationships change and adapt to what both parties want

Hithere

Your comments indicate she may feel responsible for you

Give her time - relationships change and adapt to what both parties want

I think she felt relieved when I found my partner, like pressure taken off a couple of years ago so I don't know.

I know how you are feeling a panic attack or any mental illness can make someone withdraw. They are trying to understand what is happening and will question every possible cause. I have personal experience of something similar only recently. It is soul destroying to the person who experiences this and upsetting especially for parents.

Has she had blood tests ECG etc or been given medication. She would benefit having a counsellor a listening ear to help her understand her anxiety.

I would advise give your daughter space. Don’t put pressure on she is obviously scared of how she feels. Just let her know you are there for her no matter what. Give her time it will be upsetting for you but be strong she will get better.

I think perhaps your daughter has realised a bit of distance is needed.

Other people love their children too, but it isn't necessary to rely on each other so much.
Possibly her panic attack has opened her eyes to this fact?

Redhead56

I know how you are feeling a panic attack or any mental illness can make someone withdraw. They are trying to understand what is happening and will question every possible cause. I have personal experience of something similar only recently. It is soul destroying to the person who experiences this and upsetting especially for parents.

Has she had blood tests ECG etc or been given medication. She would benefit having a counsellor a listening ear to help her understand her anxiety.

I would advise give your daughter space. Don’t put pressure on she is obviously scared of how she feels. Just let her know you are there for her no matter what. Give her time it will be upsetting for you but be strong she will get better.

Thank you
She's talked of being on a waiting list for talking therapy.
Also said I need it because of what we went through with her dad together only we understand.
I did have counseling but it didn't help.

If WhatsApp is used to track her, I can see her point.

It doesnt matter her friends are not close to their mothers, adults manage their relationships and I am sure your daughter does not pick her friends based on how they get along with their mothers

I am not sure what your daughter went through in the last 2 years so cannot comment there

Looks like she wants to be more independent

People do not change overnight, something was simmering in the background for a while before she took the leap

MissAdventure

I think perhaps your daughter has realised a bit of distance is needed.

Other people love their children too, but it isn't necessary to rely on each other so much.
Possibly her panic attack has opened her eyes to this fact?

I wouldn't say I relied on her more her me and my partner.... Bit who knows.
She knows I worry about her safety, for example, she's single and out drinking in city centre. It's realistic like she said a guy plonked a drink in front of her said drink this, she didn't but of course but it worries me. I didn't tell her that!

I said re wassap when we were 4000 miles away in liked the fact I could see when she was last online, I know she was ok (without me messaging)
Only that, so I feel it's turned off to punish me caring, that's how it feels

She is an adult, she knows how to manage a night out

You need to back off and trust she can take care of herself