Is there an acceptable period of mourning before starting a new relationship?

One friend who had been married for over 30 years remarried four years after being widowed - her new OH had been widowed three years before. On the other hand I have another friend who remarried over thirty years after being widowed! It obviously takes all sorts. A friend I’m seeing tonight met someone else five years after being widowed but they are not married yet. Finally, my much loved father, who led mum a merry dance, died in September 1978. Mum remarried in December 1980.

Each to their own.
Personally I don’t want another man (or woman) I only want “my man” - does that sound too saccharine?
But seriously as I can’t have him, I’ll make do with the dog.

It does take all sorts however I m always amazed at some people who jump into a new relationship before their husbands cold My cousin died and literally with a few short weeks his wife was hand in hand with another man who she later married I felt it was disrespectful but that’s just me

On the face of it less than a year seems a bit quick, for all concerned, but I suppose it's purely a matter of chance if out of the blue someone comes along that you're comfortable with.

It's often a man who moves on quickly - I know of one who within a couple of months had contacted his teenage love and they re-connected and are still together some five years on. I've no idea how the woman's family felt about this but his adult children were OK with it all.

If there is another chance of happiness then they should grab it with both hands. Life's too short to miss opportunities to be happy.

Love is not rational nor can be conveniently timed. I think it would take great courage to follow your (irrational?) heart when you know your existing family and friends would probably disapprove. One of my sons tried to introduce me to a dating site before I even knew what they were. Always makes me smile......

I wonder if people who were happily married are more inclined to marry again more quickly? Obviously not everyone. I was not married happily and have had no desire to marry again.

Interesting this. I think it depends on circumstances I’ve been married 45 years happily I think! Wouldn’t want anyone else after him but that’s just me.

Wouldn’t do for me. I would hate to have another man. My Dh is still with me and can be a trial to live with but I wouldn’t want anyone else, Thankyou!
I have plenty of friends , family and hobbies. That would be enough for me.

I would describe my marriage as distinctly average - it’s okay for the most part & we’ve had the usual ups & downs.
But I really don’t think I could do it all again, especially at my age.
I’d miss him too much & wouldn’t have the emotional energy for another man.

I'm taking my lead from the Queen! We are both eligible only joking
I have not the slightest desire to remarry but maybe if I were much younger and the offer was attractive enough.......
Marriage is a contract after all.
As for having a partner to go out with occasionally; that sounds nice.
Good luck to your friends

I think it is very hard to say until you are in that situation. If you meet someone else and think you can be happy together , why not?

You are quite right.

It is none of your business.

Grammaretto, I like your thinking ?

eazybee, I was scrolling down the page to say exactly the same as you. Well said!

I'm not sure I could be bothered to train another one!

Not "saccharine" at all Maw, it's the same for me.

I don't think there's an acceptable period of time before embarking on a new relationship, everyone's different and what is 'acceptable' to one may not be 'acceptable' to another.

I certainly wouldn't judge or wish to be judged.

Mrs Doubtfire said "Not before the sheets cool" but she was prejudiced as we know.

eazybee

You are quite right.

It is none of your business.

A bit harsh - lots of things are none of our business, just topics to engender discussion.

vampirequeen

If there is another chance of happiness then they should grab it with both hands. Life's too short to miss opportunities to be happy.

Totally and absolutely!!

I would never be able to consider a new long term relationship I had 45 wonderful yrs with my man & no man could replace him in my affections.
Each to their own I say and its no one else's business but it's not for me.

If someone's partner dies after a period of decline with eg dementia, the spouse has often done quite a bit of mourning before the actual death.

Non of us really know, we think we do but we don’t.

I don’t feel as though I could ever nurse another man in old age, for me that would be hugely off putting.

I don't think anyone can ever 'replace' anyone. Nor should they. We are all individuals in our own right and, thankfully, oh so different.